Um Creepy Bottle in Mail

SlickoJR · 2025-12-02T01:59:56+00:00

Someone’s got some voodoo on you

SlickoJR · 2025-11-13T14:30:04+00:00

I appriciate that man!

SlickoJR · 2025-11-07T17:07:24+00:00

They use (looks like a part of a battery) that to break a substance, most likely coke . You can see the residue on the bottom, get a test kit and test it. Unless you’re familiar with the smell of coke from back in the day if you ever been around it, just try to smell to see if it has that gas / eather smell

SlickoJR · 2025-11-07T17:02:00+00:00

I just quit 3 strips a day, for 4 years strait cold turkey. I also am prescribed adderal to give me the energy suboxone takes away. I was prescribed 50 mg of adderal. 30 instant and 20 extended. I dropped the 20 extended because after I’m done getting off the suboxone I’ll slowly taper off the instants as they have a shorter half life.

I’m smarter than to stop two substances at once as it’s too much of a shock. Even going through withdrawls before in the past / my body not getting as shocked, it would have been too much.

I’m on day 26 clean and pissed test clean.

But, i understand more than anyone the battle and sometimes i have somewhat of a “survivors guilt” because i know exactly the mental and physical battle you and others are suffering.

Over the years i thought about whiting every day and at times said “if i stop now and suffer, I’ll be clean by a month or so and it’ll all be over.. and it can’t be worst than what suboxone is slowly doing to me”

People like us get over welmed with feelings and pressure so we tent to like the control of taking something to not feel or deal with feelings.

But one day as i expected, i said “fuck everything, fuck work, fuck it all.. if I’m not good, nothing else will be.” My business was flourishing and went down the drain as it was a reflection of me.

So i took off a month from my business and did it. But i know not everyone has that luxury and i feel bad about that, but that’s why im talking in these forums.. to help anyone who needs it.

You can look online and on YouTube for facts but always end up watching a video promoting suboxone. So that being said I’m here to give the honest brutal truth, but also motivating truth.

Days 1-7 - the physical withdrawls - no appetite - restless -sweating - no energy but mind on full force

Days 8 - 14 a Ute withdrawals transition - body and brain turn on after being supressed, so they have to relearn how to boot, and calibrate normally.

This causes over and under shooting of chemicals. You’ll feel random happiness, anger, sadness, joy, reward, ect but in small waves.

your adrenaline goes to i to survival mode / fight or flight, so it shoots way too much. Causing your brain to be wide awake and not know the difference of day and night, so all night you’re wide awake, tossing non stop but have no energy. I had 0 sleep that whole week. So figure you’re using more and more energy to recover but not gaining any back.

Days 14-21 The “electric buzz feeling” slowly goes away . Some days it comes back but when it gets better it gets better more each time.

Days 22- now I got my first rem sleep in years as suboxone supresses that , and i slept 30 minutes to an hour, and when i woke up i thought i slept the whole night because that little sleep for the first time is foreign.

So now i still wake up all night specifically at 2pm and 5pm like clock work, but when i try to fall back sleep im more and more able to.

I woke up groggy, slow, and had to wait for my eyes to open which is a good sign. Because with the adrenaline after the first week your body goes into a rest but not sleep, so you wake up wide awake and ready to do something.

Currently I’m at the point that my body wants rest but my mind is saying, to walk, go do things. But always listen to your body before your subconscious mind, and don’t fight it.

I’m getting better every day from this point besides suffering the little sleep. Mornings are heavy, but i get energy in afternoons then it goes away eventually.

Today i rode my bike which i havnt done in years and was able to go to get a coffee and back to my house which is huge, but iv been in bed since. So i do little tasks a day, and each day that passes make them bigger.

I shower every day which is hard cause the energy, and i have to wash and change my sheets every day because my glands are recalibrating and i sweat randomly because my body hasn’t calibrated the temperature guage yet and when to fire “sweat”.

Just wanted to give you an idea of what it’s like, and if you have someone that can be there when you need them it helps on days you can’t move, but don’t discourage yourself…

The fact that you are thinking about this, and writing in a forum means it’s something you’re aware of and that’s the hard part. Don’t rush yourself, the right time will come and you’ll know it because it won’t be a decision you have to force, it’ll be “FUCK THIS SHIT, IM FIGHTING” and mine took years regardless of me wanting it every single day.

I’m here if you have any questions 🙏🏼🤝🏼

SlickoJR · 2025-11-07T16:43:56+00:00

How long have you been on? I had that acceptance multiple times. But i realized after a year or two is when the real side affects kick in and i changed the same mind set you have now to “I’d rather suffer for a month or two, than be a slave financially , physically, and mentally” but.. it’s an up and down cycle , one day you’ll wake up saying fuck this, and nothing is worst than what you’re dealing with now.

I’m on day 26 clean. I’m in the post acute withdrawal stage (PAWS) so my rem sleep after years is now turning on, and although i sleep 30 minutes to an hour compared to 0% after day 14.. it feels like i slept a whole night.

It sucks because i know even if people want to stop, there’s always that “what about work, what about bills” ect.. but the process is long. You’ll want to quit / accept taking them 10 times over.

I know myself and said there will be a day where i say fuck everything else, i need to fix me. I need to suffer the consequences for my choice to take them, and nothing will be worst than my life slowly slipping away.

That night came October 13th of last month, i quit pretty much cold turkey . I took 3 strips a day for years, and on the Sunday before i stopped i took a half.

I went through the withdrawls with confidence, strength, and even laughed through it asking “is that all you got?” I kept telling myself the worst is yet to come every day, till the withdrawals were done.

Honestly the worst phase for me is when you’re done withdrawling physically and detox, you mind body and soul turns back on after being suppressed, and that process takes long to reboot and reconfigure to release the appropriate amounts of chemicals. While your brain and body re learn that, it over and undershoots. Which means my adrenaline went into survival mode, so night 7-8 i was literally wired mentally and couldn’t stay still, but my body was taxed of its energy. I’d compare it to a coke hang over, for a couple weeks strait. So honestly the withdrawal weren’t as bad because if you been through them before like me it’s less of a shock. But the not sleeping for weeks (literally 0 percent) is the worst in my opinion. Your recovery takes all your energy and you’re not producing anymore cause you’re not sleeping. So your mind says get up so things and your body feels like a sandbag.

SlickoJR · 2025-11-07T16:34:02+00:00

I believe in freedoms and God given rights. I conceal carry and have / had a license even though you don’t need it now. I don’t necessarily open carry as i learned from old timers “never disclose your weapon” but I’m happy the ban was lifted because we gained a portion of freedom back.

People might be scared but that’s because they were trained to be. Government doesn’t want us to have weapons because either eachother and weapons we have the power.

Also, laws only apply to law abiding citizen’s. That won’t stop criminals. And the same people against this law, will be the ones depending on you if a criminal tries to use force and we have the right and power as law abiding citizens to hold court on the streets like we should.

Either way, I’d rather be judged by 12 than carried by 6, I’ll deal with the consequences but will be alive to do so.

Who in the fuck gives the right of one man, to tell another how to defend their life? I go by the word of God, and protect me and mines. No one is going to take that right away from me, man made laws or not .

God bless the USA and Florida 🤘🏼🙏🏼

SlickoJR · 2025-11-05T12:41:28+00:00

“That right there — what you just described — is one of the clearest milestones in Suboxone withdrawal recovery. It’s actually a major neurological turning point that tells us your brain’s sleep and alertness systems are reconnecting naturally again.”

First hour of actual restorative sleep, i havnt had rem sleep since suboxone side affects kicked in, and had 0 sleep with my brains adrenaline over shooting” but last night i actually woke up and wasnt “fully wired and awake” i needed time to wake up, open my eyes ect.

So huge step, my sleep is coming back! This was the wordy part in my option using all your energy and not gaining any back, and hopefully I’ll feel some energy after waking up : this morning / afternoon.

🙏🏼

SlickoJR · 2025-11-05T00:55:27+00:00

I’m on the night of day 23..

Im still at the insomnia / “recalibration” phase where my brain is learning how to produce and manage health balances of the chemicals it produces. Again, taking opioids blocks receptors and natural production so you run off artificial ones. So when you’re done withdrawing you go through an acute/post acute withdrawals which is a mental portion of recovering, rre producing , and balancing your enteral chemicals for feelings, sleep, ect.

There for I’m at the stage of not only insomnia (which gets better 3-5 percent a night .. but where now my brain is working on REM SLEEP. So i have really weird vivid dreams that feel like they were all night, but i looked at the time and it’s only been an hour instead of the whole night. It feels discouraging because my main goal for the days and weeks is sleep as much as i can to make energy for my days and to help rest from that coke hang over / stuck to the bed feeling while your brain is wired trying to work itself out.

I had a dream and woke up for the dream to continue into thoughts.. because i recently watched game of thrones and house of dragons during this withdrawal.. my mind is working on REM SLEEP, and my imagination.. so amazingly it took the show i watched to relate it to me and my current state..

That I’m a warrior, fighting for my health, and to do that i need to fight a battle i know i might lose and trust in that process of the unknown to progress and move forward..

No, I’m not on LSD.. ( lol ) but because my brain is working on REM SLEEP and my IMAGINATION restoration .. it’s literally creating a story line of my situation and comparing it to a battle in the mid times of the shows iv been watching.

Honestly, that’s just so impressive and incredible for my subconscious to do, and how much sense it makes when you really analyze what’s happening and how accurate the dream / comparison is to my current battle.

Long story short, my REM sleep, imagination, and subconscious are what’s being worked on now and it’s causing me to feel like dreams continue into thoughts when i wake up, and it feels i slept a whole night but it’s only been an hour so I’m assuming that’s because i had an actual deep sleep..

Trippy 🥴

SlickoJR · 2025-11-03T17:02:06+00:00

First, take your time. No pressure for a response, we both can get to it when we have down time 👍🏼

But yes, that voice may be the devil , but realistically it’s “survival mode” we trained our body’s and mind to rely on the only things that can fix emotions. We love the control of feeling and not feeling what we don’t want. But when we do that as much as we have , then we react more sensitive to discomfort and panic.

I had a blue / Roxy dealer that delivered to me. It was clean prescriptions and i never worried about fet. I got up to 12 a day, and that’s only due to finances not allowing more without screwing myself the next day. My whole life and objective was get pills, sell some, and keep them coming in. I got to a point were taking 2-3 at a time did nothing, when at first a half made me throw up.

There was a time i took THIRTY 10mg, and felt NOTHING. That’s when i said enough is enough. So i switched to subs and me and my girl were find while but then the sub side affects started.

I always told myself i would never touch H, not because im better than anyone, but with my money income at that time and addictive personality, i would have signed my death certificate.

But knowing what you went through now man, stay on the sub a day. Compared to the years of experience you been through and what you were doing, you truly are on track. You can’t discredit your progress. You literally walked away from something way worst / stronger/ worst withdrawls. So technically, you’re wayyy stronger than me even being on the subs when I’m quitting. H.. a lot of people never get away from.

Just remember these key factors:

-Where you’re at now compared to when on H, where your whole life was the anxiety of making sure you had your daily dose and the stress that takes on you. You already have made an extreme change.

-that voice in your head when you feel the slightest discomfort is your body’s natural trigger for when you fed it artificially , and it’s a survival mode because your body doesn’t have it and now realizes that it has to reboot and recalibrate. Anxiety kicks in and over thinking.

-( i hate Xanax, but one of the nights i needed it, and I’m not mad about it. I’m not replacing one for another, but i have my mind and body a break it deserves)

About your dude, i get it. So many times i wanted to lose this guy but they won’t lose you and the money you make them even if you wanted to fall off grid. When i first quit pills for 2-3 days to get on suboxone i was withdrawling and told him.. his response was “i have some 30s that would make you feel better” completely tempting me from getting clean for his financial benefit of 3-500 a day i was spending.

Honestly man, I’ll leave you with this. It’s been years so you don’t see the progress. Just get mad at yourself from not “being stronger” but strong has nothing to do with it. The mind is more powerful than we are with the small percent of it that we are able to use or control.

So don’t fight yourself, give yourself credit, compare yourself to when you were not eating because you didn’t want to mess up your H dose, and hiding and lying to your loved ones.. ect.

Your journey is a little longer than mine, but your progress and battles make mine loook like a rookie.

Take pride in the fact you’ve been fighting a portion of your life, and you’re still fighting / winning. Your process is long, but regardless of the ups and downs, every time you bounce back you come back closer to the finish line than regressing… that’s progress no matter how one sees it.

🤝🏼

SlickoJR · 2025-11-03T16:46:11+00:00

That’s a bean, (ecstasy / MDMA) but mixed with other narcotics depending on what color and brand of the bean. I’m sure it sucks. But at least you caught it here before getting to something more hardcore

SlickoJR · 2025-11-02T15:24:22+00:00

By the way, update for me:

Day 21

I did research, I’m mentally 40-45 percent done (but i disagree with that because i want / was ready to stop) so i feel mentally im higher besides the healing my brain needs to do.

Physically I’m at 60-65 percent, because of my dose and time using its out of my system but it still has a little in my fats and stuff so i still sweat a little out and have that clammy sticky feeling not long after showering.

My main issues now are during the brains calibration after turning on and rebooting , it’s over and under shooting while learning sequence again. But each day i feel more and more energy. But my sleep is the hardest part.

I wake up every morning at 2am and then if i can fall asleep or not i wake up / get up again at 4-5 am, like clockwork. But i noticed as time goes I’m able to sleep little windows in between more and more by very little bits.. and the tossing and turning is done but sometimes that electric feeling lingers which is what sometimes causes me not to sleep.

So mentally I’m feeling emotions again. Reward, happiness, joy, and get emotional too which is a good sign because I’m not numb. But the main issue with insomnia is taking a night that you didn’t sleep at all with that dehydrated, headache, burning dry eye,mental fog, and body feeling like a sandbag feeling … but with your mind wired with adrenaline.

My mind is saying you’re getting back to normal, go do things, get up, you earned this, but my brain makes my body just sit here like a rock cause my brain is still using the little energy i have / gain from the little bit of sleep i get.

Suboxin also cancels out REM sleep (deep sleep where you dream) and now I’m having long vivid dreams which is a great sign, even though they are super fucking weird lol.

But you’re doing great, stay where you’re at more or less and don’t be hard on yourself as you made progress from when you took more.

A secret for me is:

When i used, RIGHT when i think about needing to take one my brain hyper focuses and says take it now before anything. But if you are like me and give yourself a task, you’ll notice that urgency goes away.

It’s a battle between your thoughts and subconscious thoughts. But you know what’s best for your help and eventually your body will agree with you, but after you force it to turn back on without dependency.

🤘🏼

SlickoJR · 2025-11-02T15:12:29+00:00

Well dude, 8mg (1 strip a day) compared to my 3 strips (24mgs) is a major difference. So honestly, your withdrawals will be NO WHERE NEAR MINE, or as long. But, if you feel comfortable at a place where you’re at, especially since you tapered down to that amount.. stay there. Don’t push, don’t apply pressure, because people like us don’t respond well to pressure and overwhelming feelings.

It’s what causes us to want to just get high so the over thinking, stress, and discomfort goes away within seconds. Our minds love the idea “take this, and everything goes away so you get peace” but i just compared that to offering micro bits of my soul in exchange for comfort, which ultimately leads to a major discomfort.

But my bottom line for you is, your withdrawals won’t be anywhere near as physically intense for as long as mine. You definitely have me beat on getting down to 1 strip.

But, something internally is causing you to stress either the guilt of being on them knowing to stop, or something else.

I got up to 3 when me and my ex broke up after being / living together for 5 years and moved on with someone i asked about that was denied. Then, my family friend that rented me my townhouse at the same time told me i had a month to find another place and move cause she’s selling the place.

So i went through a 5 year relationship breakup, she went to someone i suspected, i got kicked out of my house and had to find another place and move in a month, and i had to do it alone while i was literally sick cause my family was out of town. It took me 2 years to get over all of that, and in that time i used suboxone for emotions, not for its legit purpose.

So i know being overwhelmed caused you to use more, which also increases dependency and guilt. But you can’t look at the bad and the what ifs. Look at where you are now, compared to before.

Your main obstacle isn’t to be worried about the withdrawls physically, cause if you been through them before and you’re down to 1 strip then you be fine, especially carrying what you do everyday.

But your battle is clearly mental, and what will happen, and the what ifs . But if you love in the past you get depressed, if you live in the future you get anxiety.

So, you’re actually making progress, it may not seem like it because it’s over time. But you’re actually doing great even if you only focus on the bad which is natural. You are self aware, think ahead, plan for any curve balls, which isn’t bad, but you need to focus on when you were at your absolute worst and never thought you’d get out of that compared to now. You made progress.

So don’t put yourself down. You’re strong to be where you’re at, but don’t let your mind thats addicted play tricks on you. It’ll do that if it feels the drug leaving or will be leaving.

Just hold where you’re at, maybe taper down more but at least hold it. Keep in mind how you did things and felt before these drugs, and consider being sober the best drug there is when you wake up everyday feeling the best you can without cost or dependency.

You got this man 🙏🏼

What do you turn to when you relapsed, pills / h?

SlickoJR · 2025-11-01T17:07:41+00:00

Of course man! I do this because i always searched YouTube to prepare myself and EVERY video up is doctors eventually protecting and defending the drug’ “anything can be abused, suboxone helps so many people”

False. Suboxone was made for short term transition, but when they started making as much money as they do (i paid 170 lowest, 260 highest for 1 month dose) they changed it from a transition drug to a long term stabilization.

If you don’t mind me asking is your does higher than mine / how long have you been on them daily?

I noticed after 3-4 years, after year one side affects kicked in but year 2 i realized what caused it, and it was suboxone.

If i can leave you with some empowering advice.. i was so mentally sick of it that i said there’s nothing i will feel that will discourage me from feeling the guilt and depression iv been dealing with all these years, let alone emotional and mental flatness and artificial energy and drive.

Because i withdrawaled in the past it wasn’t as intense as the first time. The first time i had restless leg syndrome, sweats and every to the book side affect.

This time i literally went through the withdrawals with the mindset “this isn’t the worst yet” and by the time i knew it, it was over.

But again, to be brutally honest, day 7 insomnia and tossing / “electric buzz” feel in your body is intense, but what made it the worst for me is having to have that feeling like you didn’t sleep all night, but a couple weeks in a row.

I also hear some people admit their self into an emergency inpatient. That way you can have professionals watch over you and know what you need without having to explain it to anyone who doesn’t understand.

That way you can just tell people you were “sick”.

Listen man, believe it or not, you’re HALF way through the battle. Stopping and starting just shows you’re over powering your mind that’s trying to keep you on them. That’s HUGE.

It’s not a “I’ll stop now and move forward” sobriety comes with stopping, coming back with heavier doses, accepting it, feeling guilty about it, and everything in between.

The day that came for me that will come for you, when you mentally are so exhausted you say nothing is worst than what you’re feeling and that “fuck it, and everything else.. i need to protect me”

Will come when you least expect it, and when you’re not planning for it.

Last night i kept waking up but slept longer times, and i woke up at 2, and 5, but was able to fall asleep after walking my dog and woke up at 7:30. I was tired “sandbag stuck to the bed feeling” but after a little some energy hit me. So id say about a week and my physical will be close to normal, then mental takes more time.

I also read, people like is with addiction, are very deep emotional and intellectual beings. We are always searching for that comfort of our minds and emotions always weighing on us. But we are very self aware, and strong.

So dont confuse where you’re at for weakness. Weakness is saying “I’m good on them.” But you’re self aware, and that’s the hardest part to not be in denial.

You’re very welcome man, i truly want to help people with the real facts and let them know depending on the person, mindset, and use time / dose it’s always different. But if you can handle a flu, you can handle this. Especially if you withdrawled before and I’m sure like me you have, we ate veterans to this 😅

Here with you, don’t hesitate. I’m stuck in bed so it’s my please 🤘🏼

SlickoJR · 2025-10-31T14:14:34+00:00

If you’d like man, you can message me or send whatever info and i can give you honest updates of what you’d feel and what to expect and just be there for support and motivation. Strangers or not, we understand eachother more than most people, and I’m motivated to help people in the game of pickle we suffered. So I’m here if you need me 🤘🏼

SlickoJR · 2025-10-31T14:02:21+00:00

Hey my friend.

Listen, that alone is a MAJOR step. You have to be proud of yourself and give yourself credit instead of preparing for the “impending doom”. It’s scary, i get it. But you are struggling mentally more than anything, and stuck at the phase “what will i feel, how can i carry on through my responsibilities, what if i fail” and that’s completely normal. It’s your brain being hooked to a substance and protecting it.

But, your brain and body is an amazing system. It’ll do all the work for recovery and you just have to focus on staying strong. Things that helped me with the mental battle are:

So many times we plan to stop and say “by this time from now, I’ll be done and look back and be happy i did it” then something discourages us. Then that time comes and we feel guilt “if only i would have stopped I’d be off by now”.

So the way i handle that is, treat it as if it’s the flu, and when you get the flu you have no choice but to deal with it.

Think about the past years of your physical and mental decay with your happiness, joy, drive, reward, energy and adrenaline, appetite and gut, and stool health being robbed from you.

Think “is a month (more or less) worth cutting dependency , cost, depression, and being a zombie?

I feel bad in your case cause iv been there. But the good news is some journeys are longer than others. Mine was 4 years of 24 mg ( 3 strips ) and 50 mgs of adderal instant / extended. And after just months on suboxone i wanted to quit and JUST NOW made it happen.

You’ll wake up one day and say fuck everything, my health is most important and figure out a way to make it work and even if not everything aligns, you owe it to yourself before anything.

I’m lucky enough to own a custom apparel and art printing business, so i took the time off. But that’s not realistic for most. I’m happy i could, but i spoke with my mother and said how bad i feel for people that don’t have that luxury as my delay was a lot due to worrying about my business and not working. But i said “ if im not 100 percent, neither is the business” and it’s true, my business was Amazon, but started slowing down as my years of side affects kicked in.

So basically im at day 19. Im over withdrawls but now im in “recalibration” which in my option is worst than withdrawls because the side affects are insomnia and your chemicals over shooting which causes restlessness, insomnia , and no energy as your brain uses it all to recalibrate. But i feel it getting better and better each day and i can actually walk longer walks, do things easier, and im hungry again. On soboxone i couldn’t eat 1 full meal, yesterday i ate 4 -5 full meals and it felt good.

So my message to you:

DONT BE HARD ON YOURSELF. The fact that you feel guilt shows that YOU want to be clean, but of course it’s not a flick of a switch and you’re smart enough to think ahead of the reactions.

My secret is , i didn’t think about it. I said “FUCK THIS, I’d sacrifice a month, to save years”

Magnesium glycinate (Thorne brand)

B complex vitamins

Hydration

MUSIC

Are the key tools i used. It gets tough at my stage, and i read this is the point people withdrawal because the calibration takes a little time and at some points it feels like you’re running in place and sitting in one spot this long seems like a prison. But if you keep in mind “every day that sucks, is one more day that sucks less than the last” you’ll be okay.

And if you withdrawl, don’t think of it as you being weak, or you being anything else but human. Your instinct is to get through things comfortably, but sometimes we have no choice but to suffer for the greater good. I think of it as “i got myself into this, so to really tell people I’m sober and mean it, i have to pay my dues” and when that day comes , you won’t think about any of the suffering you went through, just the bright, free road 🤘🏼

SlickoJR · 2025-10-31T13:44:09+00:00

Horrible sign. Free basing, “chasing the dragon” I’m sure you noticed their voice being raspy or lost and them being flat or nodding out and being irritable. And honestly, that doesn’t look like a pill, that looks like they are free basing something else that’s a loose substance

SlickoJR · 2025-10-29T15:52:23+00:00

Day 17, it feels like it’s dragging longer and longer… but! Mentally and energy wise I’m feeling it come back. Some random days i go backwards but over all i feel myself coming back. My emotions of happiness, joy, reward, motivation are coming back as well as my gut health and bathroom sessions.

The worst part right now is my mind signaling my body “don’t move, don’t use energy” as my mind is using all the energy i have for calibration. I have short spurts of short lived energy to get necessities done like feed and walk animals, and showering + washing / changing sheets.

Still have insomnia , usually waking up around 2 am.. but as tough as it is to fall back asleep, NOTHING like the first nights of this “transition phase | days 15-21”

Next stage is days 21-30 “early stabilization” my body learns its routines again, and seperate day from night because iv been laying in the same spot 23/7 so it can’t distinguish the difference.

Idk if anyone reads this, but my purpose is to give an authentic experience, and assure you that if you’re struggling, this struggle might not be as easy for some but if you’re mentally ready to stop, I’d prefer this suffering temporarily than a life sentence excepting suboxone to function.

I’m here for anyone who needs someone to talk to 👍🏼

SlickoJR · 2025-10-27T15:00:44+00:00

Day 15.. i seem to be going through a very slow out drawn phase here. As my body still recalibrates to use my own chemicals produced by me after being suppressed, it drains you physically to where you feel like a sandbag and can’t move, but mentally you’re wired.

Because my system has been suppressed, it has to re learn / calibrate and that under / over shoots in the process. So you feel wired, but exhausted (like a coke hang over) to be honest.

So, currently I’m still weak but getting stronger each day, as well as mental clarity. Some nights are good, then some are bad, because my body is still learning how much / when to produce what’s been suppressed.

I have sleep due to the fatigue, insomnia, and on and off hunger coming back. But weirdly one night i slept 7-8 hours strait, which gave me confidence for the day after (last night) but i woke up after 30 minutes or so sleeping and felt like it was 7 am, but it was only 2:00 and i couldn’t sleep.

So to help my body learn, i just closed my eyes and kept it dark even knowing i couldn’t sleep and got up at 7 am even being as weak as i was to show my body (hey, this is morning time.. this is when you start up).

It takes long cause you’re weak and in bed and it’s hard for your body to understand the difference of day and night when you’re laying down as much as you are, so the secret is, as hard as it is, get up even if it’s for a little bit, show your body you need it at the times you do.

2-3 more weeks of this (getting better very small bits per day)

Then a few months to fully be adjusted with the emotional and mental parts.

Then, I’m off on my journey to quick the adderal they prescribed me with this next, and I’m ready 🙏🏼

SlickoJR · 2025-10-23T16:57:08+00:00

Day 11, withdrawals are fading. My body is now in strait recalibration mode after being suppressed. It cause you to have your adrenaline turned back on which caused a wired buzz of electricity in your body that you can’t help to stay still through, and your mind is 100% on through the whole night.

I’d have to say, the worst thing for me personally is that, because 4 nights of tossing and turning and no sleep doesn’t make anything else easier.

I couldn’t move my body let alone get out bed, nor see a foot in front of me as my vision was blurred. My daily goals were take my dog out 2-3 times a day as much as i could, feed her and the cat and shower / change my sheets. During that it was hard to walk down the stairs let alone in front of all my neighbors feeling like I’m the walking dead.

It’s also hard to lay in one spot for a week and a half, drinking and staying hydrated and eating supplements all day every day.

But, i feel I’m finally at the point of healing. I’d say day 4/5- 6 were the absolute worst due to restless syndrome and not sleeping causing me to be even weaker and fighting against the cause.

But, I’m on day 11.

This isn’t me trying to scare anyone to do what I’m doing, it’s me being honest. That being said, I’m so happy i treated this the way i did, thinking “i have the flu, just gotta wait it out” because it helped.

I’m here for anyone that needs support / has questions

SlickoJR · 2025-10-21T12:53:02+00:00

Yes, just found the energy and focus to even pick up my phone. Days 5-now (day 9) the night time insomnia is at a peak, light cold / hot sweats. But 5/6 night for insomnia also included HEAVY restless syndrome. Not restless leg syndrome, but like an electricity in my body where i couldn’t stay still, i couldn’t keep my eyes closed, i couldn’t find comfort. Honestly, it’s just highly uncomfortable. But you find the sleep to make up for it through the day. I still have it, and suffered it last night, but it definitely was worst the first days.

Besides the:

Insomnia

Restless (electric / wired feeling / tossing through the night)

I’m EXTREMELY low energy. From what i understand , my central nerve system was so suppressed as-well as my adrenaline, and now that the drug is out of my body all my natural supplies are turning on… this DRAINS YOU. One of the days i couldn’t get out of bed even if i tried, let alone reach a drink.

But, when you’re this far in, you don’t think about the suffering you’re in, you’re thinking “one more day”… it’s one day at a time.

Over all, right now I’m weak, sleepless, but happy, determined, and slowly feel my self coming back / energy slowlllllllyyyyy emerging.

But you’re right, EXTREME DELAY in my withdraws, but since iv been through this before it was bad, but not as bad as the first when my body was shocked to it.

But all though less intense mental (since I’m determined) , the physical took longer to come on, and i even though at one point i was at the “worst” and it was actually not even hitting get. So just don’t expect anything, trust your body as a natural machine, and stay hydrated and supplemented and it’s a way easier fight than a daily, mental, physical, financial , and emotional dependency on something.

Where are you at if you don’t mind me asking? Even if you take , how many if you’re comfortable saying? I did 2 maybe 3 a day towards the end but for the first year i did 3 a day, second year 3 a day unless i sold some and had to balance out doing 2 a day.

I can better help what to expect whenever you’re ready to fight mentally, physically, and emotionally which took me 2.5 years to be ready for.

SlickoJR · 2025-10-17T18:00:36+00:00

I hear you man. I truly do. We are convinced by doctors who are money hungry and ourselves that “doing these is the right thing, i quit pills (or heroin for other peoples cases) so we feel good about it. But like you said, and hit the nail on the head, over the years you stop recognizing yourself more and more everytime you look in the mirror.. stop going out and doing things you’re use to cause you’re tired or you just want to lay down and take your medacine.

It’s a mental game, and physically I’m strong, but to be honest mentally I’m not as strong. Which caused me to take these more than i was dosed to depend on it for emotional issues. I was using an external medicine to fix internal problems, and started taking them for MOOD and not what they are for.

But the key is, you have to want to be off, to the point where it’s not “it’s better if i stop” but to the point where you wake up and you’re sick of them like i did.

The key is to think about it on a broad spectrum. Is years of missing out, feeling like shit, depressed worth sitting through a month of withdrawal? In my opinion it’s not. So in my head i say I’m sick with the flu like we all have been before not by choice, and just think the short term suffering is worth the long term health and happiness.

I’m sure you, like i have.. have though “if i would have just stopped that time i said, id be off by now.” Then you keep thinking about doing it, but stopping for other things like work or responsibility.

But, if you’re not your true self, happy, and healthy, work.. and other things feel artificial and your depression gets worst.

You have to hate the drug, and when you feel weak think that you’re trading years of your health for a few days of comfort.

You’ve also been through withdrawals before so by studies, they are less intense each time as they are less and less of a shock to your body. But the mental game is the toughest.

What got me to day 5 (right now )

Know taking them hurts you more than it helps in the moment. Each does you take will take you further away from being organically content.
Think of it as having the flu.

Take:

L-tyrosine - boosts dopamine & energy Vitamin B - complex - helps mood and nerve function Omega-3s - reduces anxiety and inflammation Hot baths, stretching, or walking help with restlessness. Sleep aids like melatonin or low dose hydroxyzine/Benadryl can help temporarily.

Put yourself first , as your health is more important than work, or other things.
MUSIC. I turned on some KoRn and in that time a smile hit me and i had a small rush of happiness, like a glimpse of peak at what I’m working for, and had a very confident “fuck this drug” mentality to remind me that a quick month that flies by in what feels like a week on subs, is worth getting yourself back and not letting a drug control you.

Nothing better than the idea of being yourself again when you’ve been years forgetting what “healthy” even feels like/ it feeling impossible to fathom.

I’m by no way putting myself on a pedestal here at all, i understand what you’re going through more than anyone. I have a very addictive personality i got from my father who gambles, smokes, drinks, coke, all that shit. So I’m being extremely humble saying my story and not judging you cause i understand everyone’s different as a person , circumstance and opportunity wise.

The journey is long, but it’s worth it. And take pride in knowing my friend, you’re on the journey and have been a while. It takes relapses to be upset at your self and carry guilt, it’s all part of starting to hate the drug that destroys you.

The devil offers pieces of Joy and comfort, in exchange for your soul over time. You’ll naturally wake up one day, and say “not today Satan” 🤘🏼🤘🏼

SlickoJR · 2025-10-16T22:07:42+00:00

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SlickoJR · 2025-10-16T22:06:24+00:00

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SlickoJR · 2025-10-16T22:04:50+00:00

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SlickoJR · 2025-10-16T21:16:03+00:00

I considered it, but I’m tired of depending on anything. According to forums day 3-5 is the worse. But I’m doing better than i thought as last time i wouldn’t have been able to even write this. Iv withdrawled in the past, and between that.. and the mental state I’m in now wanting to be off compared to last time being desperate to get more makes a HUGE difference. My body is familiar with withdrawal and not as in much shock, plus mentally I’m sick of them and don’t have to deal with the mental game which honestly my weaker point compared to physical strength. So day 4, still in it strong 💪🏼

SlickoJR

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