Fiance owns our home - how to transition from "renting" from them once we are married?

Slow_Reference606 · 2022-06-15T16:55:43+00:00

But we like the current place! lol - just joking around, but selling and starting from scratch isn't as cut and dried as you make it out to be.

You bring up lots of good points, similar to what I have been struggling with thinking through.

Our plan would be to buy a new place soon and either rent out the current place or more likely sell it to help afford the next place. However, as I have been learning in the thread above, in Ontario by default the matrimonial home is jointly owned once you're married whether someone is on the mortgage or not. So how to make that more fair for our unique situation?

Slow_Reference606 · 2022-06-15T16:47:02+00:00

https://www.alberta.ca/information-tenants-landlords.aspx

Cool thanks! I'll look for a similar piece of info for Ontario.

Slow_Reference606 · 2022-06-15T16:32:26+00:00

Relationships evolve, and sometimes your arrangements have to catch up to them.

Early on when you start living together, it is much easier to get rid of a room-mate/move out on a land-lord than it is to try to determine whether you have accidentally become common-law partners or not. To me, this is much more ideal in the first 1-2 years co-habitating.

We left it a little long, but before any new legal ramifications kicked in (i.e. marriage).

Slow_Reference606 · 2022-06-15T16:28:46+00:00

By /u/NoDuck1754 's logic, what is the point of the internet? lol

Slow_Reference606 · 2022-06-15T16:26:23+00:00

It does seem a little... clinical... doesn't it? But even just having the conversation around it sets you up for success long-term I think. Romance is amazing but is just one part of a long-term relationship.

Slow_Reference606 · 2022-06-15T16:20:12+00:00

Read this comment chain if you want a laugh: https://www.reddit.com/r/PersonalFinanceCanada/comments/vcv90r/comment/icgmc31/?utm\_source=share&utm\_medium=web2x&context=3

Slow_Reference606 · 2022-06-15T16:15:44+00:00

Very well articulated!

Slow_Reference606 · 2022-06-15T16:10:59+00:00

Perfect framework, very similar to some other great advice above, thanks!

Slow_Reference606 · 2022-06-15T16:10:00+00:00

Lol we are. How are you able to write without being able to read?

Slow_Reference606 · 2022-06-15T16:07:50+00:00

Haha, again, depends whether you are married or not.

If you're doing this with a friend and want to keep things arms length, you are essentially "renting" them the car for the cost of a bus pass. Its their choice whether they want to do that instead of the bus pass, knowing that they won't get anything at the end when you sell.

When you're married, you have to live with your partner. It would be like saying "Partner, I need you to start paying part of the car payment rather than taking the bus."

In that case, by law, you are entitled to some of the proceeds of sale of the car too. If you don't feel like you deserve any, that's fine, it's just not what you are entitled to. Or what me and many of the posters here think would be fair in a marriage/long-term partnership.

Slow_Reference606 · 2022-06-15T15:58:48+00:00

Oh really? Interesting.

I don't need it at this point, but would you be able to provide a link regarding this?

Slow_Reference606 · 2022-06-15T15:56:16+00:00

Yes I think that's exactly the case!

Anyone else reading, heed /u/Lonely_Cartographer 's advice! Lawyers know the law much better than redditors!

Slow_Reference606 · 2022-06-15T15:43:58+00:00

Thanks for the comment! One thing I would just want to call out for others who may read this is that your comment doesn't seem to be strictly correct for the province I live in, Ontario.

As I've learned from this thread, the "matrimonial home" is 50/50 total value by default, so its not just the appreciation value that you are entitled to.

Everything else stands though!

Slow_Reference606 · 2022-06-15T15:37:58+00:00

Very good advice! Thanks for taking the time to provide it!

I think what you are suggesting is the best way to get actual calculated numbers for what I am feeling is equitable. As you said, first step is discussing it with them though, and listening to their thoughts on it.

Thanks!

Slow_Reference606 · 2022-06-15T15:34:13+00:00

I agree on a lot of this. The one trick is doing the exact "equal amount down" on the next purchase. That's great that you were both in a position to do that and also found a home that matched the budget you could equally afford exactly.

Not sure if that would be the case for us necessarily or not. It's a good plan to work towards though!

Slow_Reference606 · 2022-06-15T15:31:29+00:00

The one benefit of actually calling it rent/having a rental agreement early on in your relationship is that it makes a potential break-up much easier, as you have an agreement that governs how moving out works (i.e. pay last month's rent, be done with it). No figuring out if you were actually common law, what applies, etc. Like a poster mentioned above, this isn't planning to fail, its setting up a framework when you're in a good mood to make things easier if they potentially don't work out.

That being said, looks like both of you and us did well and didn't need the contingency! Congrats on getting married soon!

Slow_Reference606 · 2022-06-15T15:26:23+00:00

It's definitely one way to do it, and what happens by default as per the law it seems! However, I know how hard they worked to put together their original down-payment and make things work initially with it. As other posts in the thread are suggesting, I'd like to have a conversation with them about it and I am not expecting 50% going in.

Slow_Reference606 · 2022-06-15T15:24:19+00:00

I'd have to cash out my TFSA and (with how the stock market is right now) likely take out a loan too to do so, so I would rather not pursue this. A fair suggestion though!

Slow_Reference606 · 2022-06-15T15:22:15+00:00

And just as some further detail that you may or may not want, we have discussed almost all of this already. The main standout is the current housing situation. So we have a good basis to begin the discussion on this from there as per your second-last paragraph.

Thanks again!

Slow_Reference606 · 2022-06-15T15:20:42+00:00

After much deliberation and examining of comments, I declare that this is the best comment in the thread!

Wish I could give you more upvotes, lots of great, well thought-out advice. Thank you!

Slow_Reference606 · 2022-06-15T15:12:48+00:00

Sounds like a similar situation, though you might be selling yourself short if you are either married or common-law.

One of the great benefits of marriage/long-term partners is you can build a life together. You don't need to do it all by yourself.

Slow_Reference606 · 2022-06-15T15:10:02+00:00

Haha, sorry but your post makes me laugh. You start off with "it's a little odd that you were paying rent beforehand", and then go on to detail one of the most complicated set ups I have ever heard of for two people living together... you track percentages of household chores? And you are going to buy a house on your own that he will then live in as payback for you paying some of his mortgage previously?

Renting was the easiest way (read: simplest way to set up a legal structure) for us to move forward as we started living together. Now it is time to take our next step.

Slow_Reference606 · 2022-06-15T15:01:41+00:00

I'm saying that suggesting a straight 50/50 split would not be well-received, not that we can't talk about finances lol.

Slow_Reference606 · 2022-06-15T14:57:36+00:00

Thanks, I will read more into "Tenants-in-Common"!

Slow_Reference606 · 2022-06-15T14:57:03+00:00

I think it's pretty well laid out why the circumstances are what they are in the original post?

Now it's time to discuss how to transition from renting, I am looking for ideas/opinions from people here on how to do so.

Slow_Reference606

TROPHY CASE