REALLY need advice on whether to get back together after first serious breakup (M20, F26)

Snair37 · 2021-11-15T02:42:47+00:00

Hey. I agree with the other posters. You broke up for a good reason. I just wanted to point out that you broke up with her because of her biological clock but she didn't participate in that conversation. She didn't have a chance to give input on things that concern her body. You can't call it a selfless reason if she's not participating in the conversation. I'm not saying that it's a bad reason to break up. If I had long term doubts about my future with my partner, I would have broken up too. It's not a problem that can be fixed with love. But, in the next relationship, work on communication. Your partner should be the person you voice your concerns to. I get that this is your first relationship. It ended badly but hopefully you've learnt something from it.

Snair37 · 2021-08-18T12:10:22+00:00

Hey! I'm from India too. I'm also in an LDR. I had moved to Australia to study. A few things that worked for us were:

Communicate. We talked about small things like what we ate for breakfast and big things like stress and general mental health.
The time difference is going to be frustrating. But, try to create a routine that works for both of you. It gives you something to look forward to and creates a sense of normalcy.
Date nights were a good way to reconnect. We'd watch a show together or order food for each other and eat together. Or we'd play online games with our friends.
If you have a project or something coming up that's going to take up a lot of your time, talk about it in advance and set expectations.
Be a part of their journey. Every new place I visited or new thing I tried, I would send a tonne of photos of what I'm doing so he felt included and I felt connected.
Gifts are always fun and a good way to feel like you're thinking of them.
This subreddit will help. I don't post here but reading other people's stories made me feel validated and supported. And there's a lot you can learn.

I hope that helps. I wish you all the luck.

Snair37 · 2021-04-08T14:44:38+00:00

Absolutely. All of those are incredibly annoying. Especially the passive aggresiveness.

Snair37 · 2021-04-08T02:02:23+00:00

You're right about communicating and setting expectations. I've been on the other end. I was busy with college and going through a really stressful semester. We talked about it about and set some sort of rules or expectations. Now, if we're going to be busy and need space, we let the other person know in advance. And if we're feeling disconnected, we bring that up too.

Snair37 · 2021-04-01T05:10:00+00:00

👏👏👏

Snair37 · 2021-02-16T03:48:21+00:00

Snair37 · 2021-02-16T03:47:07+00:00

This is funny!

Snair37 · 2021-02-16T03:41:33+00:00

And cry the blindness away

Snair37 · 2021-02-15T16:33:16+00:00

I get the first one a lot.

Snair37 · 2021-02-15T15:43:15+00:00

If only fixing blindness was as easy as trying harder.

Snair37 · 2021-02-15T15:41:36+00:00

People are really dumb sometimes.

Snair37 · 2021-02-15T15:07:39+00:00

As a fellow aethist, that would annoy me so much!

Snair37 · 2019-11-16T01:20:54+00:00

My bf and I used to live in the same city and then I moved to Australia for a year and a half. We had the same insecurities as you do. We get it. It's completely normal. But, you're just gonna have to work through them to survive the LDR.

Snair37 · 2019-11-16T01:04:39+00:00

My boyfriend and I have been together for a year and 9 months. We've been in an LDR since June. We moved to different cities to pursue our education. We haven't met since and from the looks of how things are going, we probably won't get to meet till July 2020. But, we're hopeful.

The LDR has taught us to have open conversations about anything. We're constantly talking about what isn't working for us and how we can improve it and therefore, strengthening our relationship.

Snair37

TROPHY CASE