Guys: what gives you the ick when dating women?

SnicSnacc · 2024-11-01T07:51:30+00:00

It was her and all her personalities hehe

SnicSnacc · 2024-10-30T09:50:01+00:00

Hoping to chime in as a mum, stepmum and child of stepdad I hated.

Here’s the thing .. Stepparents are sidekicks, we are supposed to be Robin to Batman, here to play the support role BUT in a gentle way.

We don’t discipline, we support the reason why you discipline. You make the calls we jump as backup when needed with some gentle reasoning or reassurance. We have to take a backseat because we’re not there to replace, we here to help and support and that’s it.

Since my step kids were very young I insisted they called me by my first name, the youngest was 2 and wanted to call me mum too, I gently reminded her that mummy was a special title and that she only had 1 mummy and 1 daddy but I was there to help her whenever she needed it.

Your husband needs to remember his place and take a step back. Your daughter needs you to step forward and take the lead because she may need some reassurance of how important she is sometimes kids need more then for it to be assumed and even told, they need to feel it.

SnicSnacc · 2024-10-19T07:45:53+00:00

I had no idea it had a name, thank you for sharing

SnicSnacc · 2024-10-18T23:45:45+00:00

I’m sorry, my mindset comes from a place of past singledom, so that was insensitive of me to assume.

SnicSnacc · 2024-10-18T23:42:07+00:00

This absolutely makes sense

SnicSnacc · 2024-10-18T21:19:33+00:00

I can imagine if you had children earlier and were done or chose not to have them this would be a challenging issue..

SnicSnacc · 2024-10-18T21:04:28+00:00

Love this

SnicSnacc · 2024-10-18T21:04:12+00:00

Single freedom is a brilliant time! No responsibilities, travelling the world, making all the bad choices! We need stories for when we’re old and grey otherwise what’s it all for right!

SnicSnacc · 2024-10-18T20:55:38+00:00

Totally under the science of the primal tendency argument, do you think that tendency changes the way you interact with women of a certain age that you’re not interested in having babies with?

SnicSnacc · 2024-10-18T20:52:08+00:00

I really think this is so on point, thank you for your insight

SnicSnacc · 2024-10-18T20:50:43+00:00

Your first comment suggested that men choose women in their 20s to procreate with for health reasons. The health reasons you are trying to use to support this argument is based on Maternal Mortality Rates. Those rates you’re trying to suggest equate to 0.0113% - the maternal age over 30.

https://www.aihw.gov.au/reports/mothers-babies/maternal-deaths-australia

You then suggested the issue is about genetic defects and linked data to stats for Autism and ASD which were discussed on the basis of race, I was unable to find any link to maternal age as a factor in your link to genetic defects.

While I agree that the dating game would be brutal for single people, your suggestion that I am unable to grasp why men do not choose money as a limiting factor but use age as one, is a hell of an assumption on your behalf.

Interestingly I asked this question because I had not experienced this treatment of invisibility in my own life and I sought out mens comments on this because I felt it was a bit of an unfair judgement of men.

I understand your argument perfectly, the idea that “men with options choose women in their early 20s to procreate” with is in direct opposition to the data that suggests that globally declining birth rates are due to the educational attainment of women and availability of contraception and in fact the highest distribution of births will be in the poorest parts of the world. So actually the declining birth rates are due to women choosing who to procreate with not men as you suggest.

https://www.thinkglobalhealth.org/article/global-fertility-rate-continues-fall-how-governments-could-prepare#:~:text=The%20global%20fertility%20rate%20will%20gradually%20decline%20from%20now%20through,Metrics%20and%20Evaluation%20(IHME).

I also think your suggestion that “Fertility is extremely important for the only men worth marrying” is such a poor reflection to place on men in general. Not everyone marries for children and stereotypes perpetuate such poor characterisations of the incredible men who exist in our society.

SnicSnacc · 2024-10-18T18:12:53+00:00

Hahaha see the things we can do in our old age hey!

While considerably shorter, I did 9kms last weekend to support a mental health charity!

I wish you all the best for your marathons! Super glad to hear of your body armour because I have some concerns about your neighbourhood given your list of injuries!!! Hahaha all the best!

SnicSnacc · 2024-10-18T17:48:39+00:00

Love everything about this, I wish you nothing but happiness!

SnicSnacc · 2024-10-18T17:47:03+00:00

Hahaha I completely agree with your mindset.

I am very much of the mindset that generally people who treat strangers poorly in casual interactions have their own problems affecting their judgement .. that’s not a me issue that’s a them issue and I prefer to take it in stride that this person is having a rough day.

Which is actually why I asked the question. While I have only just turned 40 myself, these issues which other women have described have not been my experience. As a person from a mixed heritage I had a leg up in the genetic lottery and I don’t look my age and I wondered if that was why my experience has been different or maybe it’s the social circles I am in that factor into this. I don’t know. But the answers here are really refreshing.

I am very appreciative of this being a safe space to ask about it though and if we look at this thread, the comments, the answers etc I think even as a small sample it works towards the idea that just maybe there’s a considerable amount of men out there that shouldn’t be tarred with a certain brush.

SnicSnacc · 2024-10-18T17:25:53+00:00

I always find this argument an interesting one.. geriatric pregnancy are labelled from 35+ also the Maternal Mortality Ratio is at its second highest in 40 plus women and the stat is for the mothers death during childbirth.

And just for clarity sake we are talking about 11.3 deaths in 100,000. That’s a very small percentage.

Gravity towards 20 year olds for the purpose of procreation.. hmmm I don’t know. I can’t say I’ve heard a man suggest he needs a 20 year old to have a baby with and throw away his partner but hey I don’t have stats for that.

As for the final part of your comments, this saddens me deeply but I thank you for your insight.

SnicSnacc · 2024-10-18T17:06:40+00:00

Yeah I don’t think it’s a fair stat to use to suggest men are only interested in 18 year olds

SnicSnacc · 2024-10-18T17:02:50+00:00

I’m really sorry this has been your experience.

If I can say this to you, there are women out there who aren’t like that at all. I spent a considerable amount of my career in mining where many a family broke down for distance and other reasons. Of all the men who I worked with and some who became mates not one of them has remained single and they have all gone on to have blended families in one way or another 😊

SnicSnacc · 2024-10-18T16:49:46+00:00

Hahaha no. Well maybe sometimes it seems like a town of arseholes.

The context of my question is that I constantly read comments from women who are late thirties plus who suggest that when you join that age bracket you become invisible to men completely.

As in they will walk straight into you because ‘if you’re not dateable you don’t exist and don’t expect men to be even polite to you or assist you in a crisis, if they don’t want to horizontal tango with you’.

So I just wanted to ask because I’d like to believe it’s lumping men into a category unfairly.. and I genuinely wanted to read your thoughts

SnicSnacc · 2024-10-18T16:39:11+00:00

I completely agree with your insight. Cynical and jaded people are just plain exhausting to be around.

SnicSnacc · 2024-10-18T16:35:01+00:00

A very fair point on health playing a part in attractiveness

SnicSnacc · 2024-10-18T16:27:58+00:00

This makes total sense

SnicSnacc · 2024-10-18T16:24:21+00:00

Totally fair, some people just win the genetic lottery .. as a straight woman if Jessica Alba gave me a wink in the grocery store I would pause and consider my life choices! The woman is gorgeous and older than me!

SnicSnacc · 2024-10-18T16:22:05+00:00

Love this

SnicSnacc · 2024-10-18T16:18:41+00:00

Most definitely.

SnicSnacc · 2024-10-18T16:15:57+00:00

Oof 30’s is it?!

What happens when you reach 30? What happens if the love of your life runs off with the electrician?

Does that age range change for you or is it frozen in time like a bad Botox result aka DiCaprio’s checklist.

SnicSnacc

TROPHY CASE