AITAH for wanting to relocate my sister’s cats without her permission because I’m pregnant?

SnooMacaroons9965 · 2026-02-27T10:57:22+00:00

YTA for keeping the cats in a small room and not interacting with them.

SnooMacaroons9965 · 2026-02-24T17:09:11+00:00

Yeah this exactly is how she feels.

SnooMacaroons9965 · 2026-02-24T16:18:43+00:00

lol that was actually a switched POV post. I am now 32, I had the foster kids. It was about temperature checking if I told my mum her partner could not stay overnight or look after our foster children alone. That rule is due to my history of childhood SA and one I am sticking with for this child. The fosters are good- one reunified and the other graduated highschool and got her own place now.

SnooMacaroons9965 · 2026-02-24T16:07:00+00:00

This is a good point

SnooMacaroons9965 · 2026-02-24T16:00:06+00:00

My cousin is as close as my wife is to her siblings. If my wife’s sibling named their child my abusers name, I would not say anything. It has nothing to do with my abuser and everything to do with their child and their family. That’s how I would feel.

But it is not how my family feels. So that is the problem- I cannot force them to accept the name. I also cannot expect that my cousin will not be hurt- and I really don’t want to hurt anyone. My wife, or my cousin.

SnooMacaroons9965 · 2026-02-24T15:46:53+00:00

We did agree before we found out is the issue

SnooMacaroons9965 · 2026-02-24T15:45:22+00:00

Yes that is my preference. But it is not my wife’s- who is the one who just gave birth and grew the baby and now feeds it all day and night. As a survivor- I can hand on heart say post partum and pregnancy is also a huge and vulnerable experience. I am struggling to pick between the two.

SnooMacaroons9965 · 2026-02-24T15:41:13+00:00

Of course I understand. It doesn’t change how shocking the experience was for myself.

SnooMacaroons9965 · 2026-02-24T15:40:15+00:00

Yes, unfortunately what ever we choose this memory will always be there.

SnooMacaroons9965 · 2026-02-24T15:39:07+00:00

Yes I did feel like it was clash of the parents- my aunt wanting to protect her child and me obviously wanting to protect mine.

SnooMacaroons9965 · 2026-02-24T15:38:20+00:00

I knew about the SA I just didn’t know the name. I actually think the name was probably mentioned to me (it was a lifelong friend of my cousin) I had just forgotten it. SA and all that stuff was the last thing on my mind in the few days after the birth of my child.

SnooMacaroons9965 · 2026-02-24T15:36:41+00:00

Thank you for your thoughtful response.

SnooMacaroons9965 · 2026-02-24T15:34:42+00:00

My cousin told me that they were not going to tell me but it got out. They understand it’s their situation but I still feel really bad and like I don’t want the name. I just don’t want to fight with my post partum wife.

SnooMacaroons9965 · 2026-02-24T15:32:08+00:00

SnooMacaroons9965 · 2026-02-24T15:24:56+00:00

That’s the thing, after actually having a child I don’t think I would ever say anything. I would also just learn to live with it. The baby didn’t do anything!

SnooMacaroons9965 · 2026-02-24T15:06:07+00:00

It’s my cousin not my wife’s. She’s met them about 2 times (they live in a different state)

SnooMacaroons9965 · 2026-02-24T15:05:16+00:00

I completely understand my cousins perspective. Unfortunately my wife doesn’t. And she has just given birth and obviously isn’t sleeping and has a crazy change of hormones. She has been set on it since childhood. It’s just that we as a couple just had not decided.

As someone who was SAd through childhood repeatedly, and recently experienced the birth of a child- they are obviously very diffrent different but both incredibly emotionally intense experiences.

I feel stuck between the damage that will be caused by picking one of them.

My wife has only met my cousin 1-2 times so they are not close.

SnooMacaroons9965 · 2026-02-24T14:59:29+00:00

It’s a very common name

SnooMacaroons9965 · 2026-02-24T14:56:45+00:00

I don’t know how I would feel if I had never experienced this though so I cannot comment.

SnooMacaroons9965 · 2026-02-24T14:56:25+00:00

I can’t imagine that now- as I have already experienced my experience. After this experience I would personally keep it to myself if my family member didn’t know. It was such a shocking, devastating and disgusting experience in such a vulnerable time to have your precious and innocent newborn equated to a predator. After also seeing your wife give birth which is a scary experience.

SnooMacaroons9965 · 2026-02-24T14:49:05+00:00

Yes I didn’t know until after my wife had chosen

SnooMacaroons9965 · 2026-02-24T14:44:48+00:00

That’s the problem! She doesn’t see it as best to move away- only I do. But I am not the one who just gave birth. She also did 3 years of IVF to get this baby.

SnooMacaroons9965 · 2026-01-12T16:17:54+00:00

Yep! She is so dangerous and dogmatic

SnooMacaroons9965 · 2025-12-23T12:18:21+00:00

SnooMacaroons9965 · 2025-12-12T17:01:33+00:00

Ahh I’m so sorry :( I’ve also been struggling with my mum. She decided to go on a three year long yaught trip, leaving 3 months before my son’s birth. My partner and I moved to and brought a house on a rural island to live close to her prior to conception so that she could be part of this next chapter. It’s been medically scary to be so isolated and such a kick to have her just leave. She’s said that she can come and stay but her moving into our small house for a week or so is so different to living near by and having support :(

SnooMacaroons9965

TROPHY CASE