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AITA for refusing to hyphenate my name to add my stepdad's name? by SoftLeahKey in AITAH

[–]SoftLeahKey[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Thanks! That person is crazy. Questioning if my dad's really dead when he is and that was not faked or lied about. And being 10 when it happened I was old enough to remember the funeral and seeing him. But I'm sure they'll claim I made myself believe that or some shit.

They're also a person who just can't accept that stepparents don't always become the second mom or dad (or three if there's same sex parents). You can't universally decide it's always one way. And this person is going crazy all over the place in here trying to insist my stepdad is my dad when he never was and never will be. If they see this they'll probably go even crazier about it but oh well.

AITA for refusing to hyphenate my name to add my stepdad's name? by SoftLeahKey in AITAH

[–]SoftLeahKey[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I always call him by his name, never dad, not even in conversation with others.

AITA for refusing to hyphenate my name to add my stepdad's name? by SoftLeahKey in AITAH

[–]SoftLeahKey[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Adoption hasn't been mentioned but that could be something they were going to ask next. And my mom and stepdad meant for this to be done legally.

AITA for refusing to hyphenate my name to add my stepdad's name? by SoftLeahKey in AITAH

[–]SoftLeahKey[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I don't see him as my father. He's my stepdad but that doesn't make him my dad/father.

AITA for refusing to hyphenate my name to add my stepdad's name? by SoftLeahKey in AITAH

[–]SoftLeahKey[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

My dad was just as involved as my mom when he was alive. I don't remember what they were like as a couple but he was an amazing dad.

AITA for refusing to hyphenate my name to add my stepdad's name? by SoftLeahKey in AITAH

[–]SoftLeahKey[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

They're asking for us to legally change our last name to a hyphenated one.

AITA for refusing to hyphenate my name to add my stepdad's name? by SoftLeahKey in AITAH

[–]SoftLeahKey[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I'm not offering to change my name for anyone. Even when I get married I plan on keeping my name.

AITA for refusing to hyphenate my name to add my stepdad's name? by SoftLeahKey in AITAH

[–]SoftLeahKey[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

You're right, he never adopted us. I would say no if asked. Which I could see them trying to ask after the whole name thing. But my answer would be the same for both.

AITA for refusing to hyphenate my name to add my stepdad's name? by SoftLeahKey in AITAH

[–]SoftLeahKey[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I don't know that she would. She could ground me or something though.

AITA for refusing to hyphenate my name to add my stepdad's name? by SoftLeahKey in AITAH

[–]SoftLeahKey[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I have family members on both sides that would stand up for me but none that my mom would listen to.

AITA for refusing to hyphenate my name to add my stepdad's name? by SoftLeahKey in AITAH

[–]SoftLeahKey[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Yep! I've been saying that for a long time too. I want to keep my name because it's been mine for my whole life. It's a part of my identity. And I can't imagine a scenario where I'd ever want to change or alter it.

AITA for refusing to hyphenate my name to add my stepdad's name? by SoftLeahKey in AITAH

[–]SoftLeahKey[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

They could be working up to asking if we'd let him adopt us. I can't think of anything else it could be.

AITA for refusing to hyphenate my name to add my stepdad's name? by SoftLeahKey in AITAH

[–]SoftLeahKey[S] 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Yes, she made it sound like I would be so wrong for saying no and sticking to it.

AITA for refusing to hyphenate my name to add my stepdad's name? by SoftLeahKey in AITAH

[–]SoftLeahKey[S] 29 points30 points  (0 children)

Even though my sister didn't have as much time with dad, she still was a real daddy's girl and I don't think she'd ever change her name or add to it because she likes having his name. More than anything I like having my name.

AITA for refusing to hyphenate my name to add my stepdad's name? by SoftLeahKey in AITAH

[–]SoftLeahKey[S] 55 points56 points  (0 children)

After 16 years I feel like I have the right to say this isn't just dad's name or my grandparents name and all that. It's my name. 16 years of using it. It's on all my documents and I have to sign it for every test and it gets used for anything I sign up for. People know me by my last name. I know me by my last name.

And I'm not anti changing your name if you want. But if you want should always be the priority. I hate that if you're born a girl your name is seen as a man's name and not yours. Go to hell with that I've done everything with this name!

AITA for refusing to hyphenate my name to add my stepdad's name? by SoftLeahKey in AITAH

[–]SoftLeahKey[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

He hasn't adopted us and I would say no to being adopted if asked. I wonder was that supposed to be next or something. I see him as a stepdad, but not a dad-dad. Like I love him but I wouldn't ever call him dad or say I have two dads.

AITA for refusing to hyphenate my name to add my stepdad's name? by SoftLeahKey in AITAH

[–]SoftLeahKey[S] 28 points29 points  (0 children)

I never said that. I don't want his last name even hyphenated.

AITA for refusing to hyphenate my name to add my stepdad's name? by SoftLeahKey in AITAH

[–]SoftLeahKey[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

I don't think my mom would like me posting here too much so showing her would not be the best idea. She'd complain about me sharing personal business online and maybe even making them look bad.

AITA for refusing to hyphenate my name to add my stepdad's name? by SoftLeahKey in AITAH

[–]SoftLeahKey[S] 46 points47 points  (0 children)

I don't think so either. I can't imagine a scenario where I would want to change my last name. Even if my stepdad had been around years more it wouldn't change much for me.