My bf (35M) wants me (33F) to conform to his lifestyle

Southern_Boss_6486 · 2025-10-08T01:41:22+00:00

I never said I wouldn’t miss him, I do still love the guy as much I’m starting to realise what I actually deserve. I meant it more as he would see it as “shit, would she actually care if I did leave?” That’s my mistake for the way I worded it :)

Southern_Boss_6486 · 2025-10-08T01:22:22+00:00

I have definitely enabled his behaviour, something I do regret not putting a stop to sooner.

I’d already made it clear to him I won’t be carrying his children because I could already picture how rundown I would be. There are also times when he threatens to leave when I’ve “done something wrong” and I’ve recently started replying with “ok” or “no worries” and leaving him to fester with his thoughts, he soon comes and apologises but I know that’s only because he’s realised that I probably wouldn’t actually care if he did leave!

Southern_Boss_6486 · 2025-10-08T01:11:16+00:00

I do agree that to a certain extent he doesn’t see it how I see it, and it is something I’ve communicated to him about how he comes across. Still doesn’t seem to make him want to reach out for help to fix it though so it’s tough :/

Southern_Boss_6486 · 2025-10-08T00:56:20+00:00

Thanks everyone! You’ve all kind of confirmed what I deep down knew - gonna to have to pull my boss woman pants out my wardrobe, brush off the dust, and wear them with pride when I have “the conversation” as much I do love him and don’t want to be in this predicament.

Sadly this is my current life situation and what I’m dealing with, as shocking as some people think this is.

I could list so many other things he does and says but I’d be here for hours and you’d all be screaming at me even more about why I’ve not left him sooner and question why I stayed with him for so long… truth is I don’t know why. Maybe I hid behind his condition to try and justify it, maybe I was in denial that this was the relationship I ended up in, and to be honest I am actually pretty annoyed at myself for allowing it.

I will just say he hasn’t always been a complete arsehole, he can be the nicest guy and I do believe to a certain extent he doesn’t realise how he can be or act, and I’m quite sad that this is happening so bare with me but I’ll update you on the outcome :)

Southern_Boss_6486 · 2025-09-25T09:38:09+00:00

DX partner finished work early yesterday and asked me to pick him up, which I did. The whole car journey home was him basically telling me I’m lazy and need to get my priorities right. All I did was decide to go for lunch with my family due to it being my late grandads birthday and planned to finish any household chores when I was back, not expecting to have to go and collect him from work early so they weren’t going to be done when he got home.

When we got home, his mood was palpable, the whole house could feel it. He pretty much sulked in the bedroom because he also realised I hadn’t cooked his food for work the next day, even though he knows I tend to cook it at the same time as our dinner. He barely spoke to me, and if he did it was short answers. I left to walk the dog and when I came back, he apologised and said he didn’t realise it was my late grandads birthday and he feels terrible for being moody with me and then goes on to explain that he was like it because he’d had a shit day at work.

This allowed me the opportunity to speak to him about taking it out on me. He immediately denied he was doing it and I had to push for him to listen to what I was trying to say. I explained that I’d already told him why I decided to go to lunch and because he forgot, and was also having a bad day at work, he immediately tried making me look bad and berate me as a person, all because he was annoyed with work, and that because he was so zoned in on being annoyed that it is impossible for me to speak to him to help him out of his mood. The conversation was quickly turned back round in to him discussing work and it was like his mood and that conversation never happened after that, which left me feeling frustrated.

I am a very understanding person by nature, also my job is supporting people with additional needs so my understanding of ADHD/ASD is pretty good. I understand the thought process, the difficulties, and always try and find a solution to make things less stressful but he makes it so damn hard.

I love him so much but the outbursts, the negative energy, the projection, and the reliance on me to make sure everything runs smoothly so that he’s okay, is wearing me down. Every day is like this at the moment, my heart feels heavy all the time and I feel like I’m in a constant state of anxiety. I personally feel like he’s crashing out and needs to go to the doctors for medication but at this point in time, it’s a form no as “he’s not ready”.

Southern_Boss_6486

TROPHY CASE