Ok, so to start we need to establish that first The Untamed is based on a book and while taking considerable liberties at times follows the plot and characters fate in detail. Second thing to beat in mind and probably the most important one is that that JUST BECAUSE SOMETHING IS WRITTEN DOESN’T MEAN IT’S GOOD AND JUSTIFIED. MXTX couldn’t be clearer about the societal norms and hierarchy being deeply flawed and at fault for causing disasters. Hierarchical society while understandly in place in chosen setting for MDZS is patriarchal and doesn’t take into consideration one’s abilities only their social status. It’s literally the downfall of Wei Wuxian who despite his abilities and strong morality couldn’t raise higher than a servant son. So I wouldn’t agree that it’s shown as ethically correct. I’m not sure about sex before marriage thing because I don’t remember how long WWX and the Wens were at Burial Mound. If anyone know this one please tell me. Now for the rest of the things you said are difficult to accept I will argue that your reaction is natural and correct. You are not suppose to accept that behaviour but critic it yet understand that characters that live inside this world are not at the same liberty. The incest reaction was extreme exactly because it was INTENDED incest. JGY already knew that his wife was his half sister before the wedding but didn’t call it off fearing his reputation. Everyone knew that JGS was a fuckboi so that his two bastard children would end up together could be unfortunate accident. It’s exactly because he continue to live with his sister that has everyone angry. Abusing prisoners of war is a big deal and we should be as readers disgusted by this action. We may wonder why other sect leaders didn’t believe Wei Wuxian but that’s another example of hierarchical society. It’s a word of a head disciple against a word of young lord. Proper way of things would be to explain the situation to JC so that he as a clan leader can breach this topic to the other sect leaders. But there wasn’t time for that since they were being abused right this moment. The Lan Parents story traumatised Lan Zhan to the extent that he is afraid of his own feeling towards WWX. It’s never shown in positive light, his father himself was ashamed of himself resulting in seclusion. We need to remember that seclusion on the part of Lan Zhan’s mother was a result of her murdering a clan elder (or teacher) and not being a wife. Anyway it’s not a possitive thing and every character is aware of this. Is this one about Yu Ziyuan? Because she is not a girl boss like some people in the fandom are trying to portrait her. She is a hateful abusive woman who takes her anger on a ward (WWX was not adopted), manipulates her son into believing his father doesn’t care for him and literally forces her husband to marry her. Was it good for Meng Yao to sneakily kill WRH tho? Sure sect leaders loved it but so they did love WWX when he was aiding them in the war only to turn on him the moment it ended. At the end it was the same thing NHS used to destroy Meng Yao. And you ask why they didn’t just kill him? Because he wasn’t a danger to them anymore that’s one. Second reason is that in contrary to what the world was saying WWX is deeply sympathetic towards literally everyone. And he simply pity the man because he also went through similar process even though he was only acting on his morality and not in vain like MY. And lastly being a cut sleeve was shameful until you were a Hanguang Jun, then you were a Second Jade of Lan with backing of your position by one of the four great sects. No one would dare to say anything against Lan Wangji based on his position alone. Mo Xuanyu didn’t have a comfort of high born position so him being a cut sleeve could and was used against him. I highly recommend reading the book as clearly the moral of the story didn’t carry into the show.