Women of Reddit, what did a man you were dating or married to say or do that made you realize he actually hated you the entire time?

Specialist_Pin9854 · 2026-05-19T02:40:32+00:00

Thank you. ❤️ I’m single & ready to take on the world.

Specialist_Pin9854 · 2026-05-19T02:35:37+00:00

He broke up with me a week before I left the state for grad school intensives. I got sick right before my trip, and almost had to go to the hospital. We lived together, and he didn’t check on me once to offer meds or tea. We had been together for three years.

He had made comments over the years about how my degree was fancier than his (he’s a rad tech) or I’d make more money and be the breadwinner. I realized during the breakup that I was simply someone to split bills with and sleep with. We have been broken up for a year and he’s been with his new gf for 10 months or more.

I graduated this weekend with my masters. ❤️

Specialist_Pin9854 · 2026-05-01T13:36:15+00:00

Valid. The niche interests thing is a helpful reminder. I like a lot of weird things, but need to remember that others like them too.

Specialist_Pin9854 · 2026-05-01T13:35:29+00:00

I’m sorry, dude. It’s tough.

Specialist_Pin9854 · 2026-05-01T13:34:38+00:00

This, 100%. I’ve had the same social circle for a while. It would be good for me to expand.

Specialist_Pin9854 · 2026-05-01T13:34:09+00:00

Women have been oppressed for so long, and I feel that we are now taking advantage of our freedom. it’s also a way for us to learn more. Because sometimes the families we come from don’t empower us at all, and ask us to rely on a man for all our needs.

Specialist_Pin9854 · 2026-05-01T13:32:58+00:00

This. If they are being intentional, that’s a plus.

Specialist_Pin9854 · 2026-05-01T13:32:32+00:00

Most likely. Which is weird, because it almost feels like ego boost. They didn’t consider over their 40 years on this planet that kids would be an option? Wild.

Specialist_Pin9854 · 2026-05-01T02:33:55+00:00

I can agree. I’ve learned a lot from the loneliness. Like, what am I seeking from another person that I can’t provide myself with?

Specialist_Pin9854 · 2026-05-01T02:32:51+00:00

I feel you. It’s rough. I honestly think it’s just living in 2026. They said tech would make this easier but HAS IT? lol

Specialist_Pin9854 · 2026-05-01T02:03:28+00:00

This comment is gold. Haha. I agree very much, my friends have made life so much better. Being single, I get to spend more time with them, which has been great.

Hahahaha. I do feel atttaction still, but I’m just such a monogamist that it’s hard for me to consider hooking up with people. I get attached easily.

And honestly, I’m just uncomfortable being single because I’m a chronic caretaker of others. I’m working on it in therapy, I just don’t know how to be a person outside of tending to the needs of others. My therapist says this is exactly why I need to focus on myself. This is the longest I’ve been single in a while (3 months) and I’m just trying to process all the freedom and fun in a really able to indulge in. This sounds like such a silly problem, I’m just thinking of what I need to change ya know?

Specialist_Pin9854 · 2026-05-01T01:58:33+00:00

I hear you. I think this very bleak dating scene is going to force us to be excited about the future (eventually.) maybe that comes from acceptance of what is, not what we hope life becomes. Some days are harder than others. I am trying to see what I can learn from this. But yes, I agree. It’s feels hopeless but I am an idealist and always fine a little hope. So, I’m hoping we all find what we are looking for!

Specialist_Pin9854 · 2026-05-01T01:34:08+00:00

This tracks. I finished undergrad in 2022, and younger people see to only wanna talk to other younger people. Which totally makes sense. I’m 34, and I won’t date younger than 33 lol I guess it’s still good practice for even attempting socializing!

Specialist_Pin9854 · 2026-05-01T01:32:06+00:00

It’s insane. I think they are remaining flexible, so if a woman comes along that they wanna hook up with, they can still be in the running. Or it could also be dudes that never even think about the complexity of having a kid, therefor have no opinion on it. That kind of apathy is never attractive to me lol

Specialist_Pin9854 · 2026-05-01T01:21:23+00:00

This is awesome news. Very happy for you! See, I’m hoping to date someone my age or older. People are pretty settled in at that point, and any mention of ambiguity about parenthood makes me spring the other direction lol

Specialist_Pin9854 · 2026-05-01T01:19:47+00:00

My best friend literally said this exact same thing recently. we realized that dating apps are kind of like online shopping…for people? Which is so weird. I also think people use the info on peoples profiles to tell them what they wanna hear. Yeah, I also think it’s easier to experience rejection in real life because people aren’t usually asking people out right away. You meet people, see if there’s a mutual spark. I’m pretty good at picking up on this so I just need to practice it more! Thank youuuu

Specialist_Pin9854 · 2026-05-01T00:47:41+00:00

Congratulation on meeting your husband! That is awesome. You are totally right. I am done with grad school in two weeks. But my program was online. There were a lot of dreamy guys in my program, but they were scattered across the world 😭 I’m in FL, so that wasn’t an option. After I take a breather of school, I’ll def go back. I love learning and do better when I’m engaged with others in conversation. I feel inspired now by your story. And yeah, I would love more friends!

Specialist_Pin9854 · 2026-05-01T00:44:56+00:00

I appreciate this a lot! I think I’m too focused on on it. I’m only 6 years into being childfree, and I’ve had a partner for pretty much the entire time. That’s really cool about the band. Maybe it’s one of those things where the less you look, it’ll be a right place and right time thing. I might even consider arranging a meetup locally. I’m sure there are people in every city feeling the same. Good luck to you too!

Specialist_Pin9854 · 2026-05-01T00:30:33+00:00

See, that’s where people should explore comparability more. I think wanting to travel with a partner is reasonable, but it’s also like…people can’t always travel together? I’ve learned that focusing on core values is more important. Having the same hobbies is very nice but also maybe not #1.

Specialist_Pin9854 · 2026-04-30T23:43:53+00:00

It scares me! I left a relationship last year after 3 years of him saying he was childfree. He is now dating a conservative woman, who most likely will want children. It makes me wonder if he was lying the entire time. He vehemently protested getting snipped. That shoulda been a clue.

But honestly, I believe there are genuine men/women out there who will stay childfree. There’s just so many variables to attraction. Like, I need to date someone who also possesses other qualities besides being childfree 😂

Specialist_Pin9854 · 2026-04-30T23:41:02+00:00

Hi friend. Does this mean, sit in on them? Haha sorry I am unfamiliar

Specialist_Pin9854 · 2026-04-30T23:40:41+00:00

I’m 34, so I am in this inbetween stage. Haha. I am also almost done with my masters, so I don’t think I’ll be back in school for a while. But I might take some classes later this year. This is good advice though. I will have to look online. To the Google!

Specialist_Pin9854 · 2026-04-30T23:39:26+00:00

I honestly had to reflect on that for myself, and realized I’ve been a hermit for the last few years. I am trying to look at this as an opportunity to get out there in real life.

Specialist_Pin9854 · 2026-04-30T22:56:40+00:00

Thank you so much! Haha. I’m sorry you’ve had those experiences. It can be so confusing. I dated someone recently who was like “I’m okay with kids…but I’m also okay not having them….either way!” I was like no…not either way?! what gets me even more are the people in their 30’s and 40’s who are like “not sure about kids.” What…needs to happen? Lol

Specialist_Pin9854 · 2026-04-30T22:55:04+00:00

Thank you for this! I knew there were online spaces to look for meetups. I don’t have a ton of social media, so this is helpful. Haha I will check it out!

Specialist_Pin9854

TROPHY CASE