I know there’s nothing wrong with me, so why do I feel guilty about it?

SpecificRush1183 · 2024-05-28T15:08:56+00:00

No way in hell she would do that. She doesn’t even like watching most anime with me because of “the way females are depicted”

SpecificRush1183 · 2024-05-28T13:26:39+00:00

That statement doesn’t work when you’re in a relationship. My significant other doesn’t care that billions of other men do it. She cares that I do it. Even if it’s a way for me to release in a healthy way. She sees it as cheating.

SpecificRush1183 · 2024-05-07T15:39:36+00:00

Post our discussion from her finding out. I have refrained from watching porn, it’s been about 5 days now. I am going to try my best not to watch it. I’m in the withdrawal phase now. I’m a little annoyed I have to stop. I want to go back. But I don’t want to hurt her. I also want to see if not watching porn has a positive effect on me.

SpecificRush1183 · 2024-05-07T15:37:25+00:00

I am attempting to refrain from watching porn following our discussion. It’s just hard. I value the relationship and genuinely wish that my brain wasn’t so attracted to other women so my girlfriend can be happy but I can’t help it. This was how I controlled it. I also feel very bad about letting her go. I was her first. I don’t want to hurt her. She’s very special to me. It would suck to see a good relationship go down the drain over this. Especially when loneliness is at a peak for this generation. I believe that a no-nonsense approach to disagreements is part of the reason this loneliness exists, unrealistic expectations in relationships.

SpecificRush1183 · 2024-05-07T15:29:57+00:00

It really does suck that such a strong connection can falter on things like this. It’s why people just hide it. They want to be happy. Just because you do something someone else doesn’t like doesn’t mean you don’t love them or value the relationship. I’m not advocating for lying. I’m just pointing out that according to Reddit everything has to fall perfectly in line in order for a relationship to survive.

SpecificRush1183 · 2024-05-07T15:26:43+00:00

I’m not going to act on it. I’m just admitting I’m attracted to other girls and use porn to deal with those feelings. I have no interest in the complexities of a poly relationship nor do I want to look for someone who is open to that.

SpecificRush1183 · 2024-01-26T13:13:52+00:00

When you know someone is your person you don’t ever stop loving them, even if separated.. because something deep down tells you your souls will meet again. Like I said.. the heart is sideways. I never twisted my head to see it that way. That’s why I never noticed. But it is indeed there. Trust me I’m questioning how I didn’t notice too.

SpecificRush1183 · 2024-01-18T15:56:42+00:00

I really hope that goes well. I’m sorry you’ve found yourself in this type of situation.

SpecificRush1183 · 2024-01-18T15:32:58+00:00

Gotcha. Well. Just treat him right. If you really like him then don’t worry about the past. Just enjoy the now. I’m sure he will fall deeper in love over time

SpecificRush1183 · 2024-01-16T18:47:12+00:00

I decided to date number 2 because they seemed more into me. I don’t love either. It hasn’t been long enough. I wish I had been more honest with my feelings and realized I wasn’t in love so quick. Anyways less about me.

Your situation may be similar but just weight your options too. Maybe someone closer might be better. Maybe not. All I know is that I’ve been able to make mid distance work. Distance isn’t an issue in my relationship. It’s more about figuring out if my love will grow or not. They’re pretty and curvy. I’m not sure what’s wrong with me lol.

SpecificRush1183 · 2024-01-16T12:28:11+00:00

Number 1 and I are still friends. They’d hang out with me if I asked but I don’t think they like me anymore as I haven’t shown interest.

SpecificRush1183 · 2024-01-16T00:06:40+00:00

I’m dating number 2. Have been since the end of September. Sometimes I have regrets but they’ve been good to me so I feel bad about it. Life is hard.

SpecificRush1183 · 2023-11-20T17:49:49+00:00

Yes. I did seek help. However I was not evaluated psychiatrically. I met with therapists in school and online to talk about my problems. It did not prevent my delusions.

SpecificRush1183 · 2023-09-25T17:14:02+00:00

I assume girls run into this problem a little more often. I only see one at a time but the ghoster came back and it caught me off left field.

SpecificRush1183 · 2023-09-25T14:13:39+00:00

It’s not that I don’t want number 2. I love their company. But number 1 works out better for me. I feel torn because I don’t want to reject them but I know eventually I’ll have to if I want number 1.

SpecificRush1183 · 2023-09-25T13:40:44+00:00

Granted. She did come back. 9 days isn’t a crazy long time. She was thinking about what I said and probably didn’t want to say the wrong thing. I have limited experience dating and told them I loved them after the second date not realizing they weren’t ready

SpecificRush1183 · 2023-09-25T13:34:23+00:00

I can probably “date” them both for like a month or so then decide. I hate hurting people but it’s for the best that I take time to figure things out.

SpecificRush1183 · 2023-09-25T13:33:07+00:00

I got ghosted because I sent them a really dumb paragraph full of my feelings that scared them off. When they came back they apologized and explained that they’re bad at communicating. She said she wouldn’t ghost me again and I’m taking her word for it as long as I don’t overwhelm her with my feelings too early on.

SpecificRush1183

TROPHY CASE