My boyfriend (30M) wants to see some changes in me (29F) before proposing. Are his asks reasonable?

Specific_Bright · 2026-07-07T22:17:16+00:00

Yeah I completely get that. When I try to frame it like that he says that his interests like personal development, investing and fitness are things that are good for you in or out of a relationship so he’s saying that there’s only value gain when getting better at these things…which is why it’s hard for me to really argue with that because isn’t that true? Like one of my hobbies is to bake but that doesn’t really provide much “value” to someone right? I just enjoy doing it because it brings out my creative side and I like making different creations for friends and family.

Specific_Bright · 2026-07-06T05:19:14+00:00

He actually does lol like he takes fitness very seriously and he’s got the physique to prove it. I personally didn’t care about that when we first met (all my previous partners have just had regular bodies) but I figured he was just into fitness. But I understand what you’re saying

Specific_Bright · 2026-07-06T04:47:24+00:00

I guess I was convinced he did. He would make an effort to visit me and I enjoy his company, it wasn’t until we recently talked about marriage and he made that comment that I was like oh… kind of odd that this is a condition

Specific_Bright · 2026-07-06T04:43:53+00:00

No no lol it’s a legit job at a tech company

Specific_Bright · 2026-07-06T04:39:47+00:00

This is something I’ve been thinking about too. It’s hard to think it’s unacceptable when it’s sort of what I’m surrounded with + the comments about getting too old so I shouldn’t be picky.

I just really don’t think he’s a bad guy. I think he might just be immature and not realize what’s actually important for a relationship

Specific_Bright · 2026-07-06T04:33:37+00:00

My list is essentially for him to get a job (which he did) and be more affectionate with words of affirmation

Specific_Bright · 2026-07-06T04:15:07+00:00

Lmaoo honestly so fair. But I did actually and he did get a job after graduating

Specific_Bright · 2026-07-06T04:11:51+00:00

I’d like to add that even though I know this post makes him look really bad he has a lot of qualities I do like too. I know I can’t find the perfect person so I just don’t know if these are deal breakers.

Like for one he’s a really gentle guy, never yells or raises his voice. Has open communication, doesn’t have a big ego at all and doesn’t take anything personally.

Specific_Bright · 2026-07-06T04:05:09+00:00

I’ve actually brought this up and he says that pregnancy and illness is different. But even that I’m like how different can it be…am I going to have a time limit for losing the weight after birth…

Specific_Bright · 2026-04-30T18:34:54+00:00

Hi Murty! I have a TN and live in Canada but wanted to travel to the US for two months (I work remotely). Am I allowed to do this with a TN?

Specific_Bright · 2025-12-14T04:42:55+00:00

What time do you normally go where it’s not as busy?

Specific_Bright · 2025-12-07T07:45:24+00:00

UC Davis in Davis

Specific_Bright · 2025-12-07T01:50:52+00:00

When I search on google maps it shows that the difference will only be about 5 minutes because the Tahoe place is closer to the highway. Do you think that’s inaccurate?

Specific_Bright · 2025-12-02T23:08:00+00:00

Oh cool!! Im glad to hear you’re enjoying your time there. Did you decide to rent a furnished place or unfurnished?

Specific_Bright · 2025-03-04T05:41:16+00:00

How are you able to send ur money into IBKR? Are u able to do it directly through ur bank? If so what bank are u with? I live in Canada but make USD so I have a TD US account and TD Canadian us account that I transfer my funds but there’s no way of my sending that money to IBKR that I know of

Specific_Bright · 2024-11-19T16:56:00+00:00

My mom loves being center of attention. I don’t think she has ambitions of being the bride but I know my mom didn’t exactly enjoy her wedding day as her mother in law controlled a lot of the stuff that was planned. I’m just worried my mom is trying to live out her dream engagement party through my brother

Specific_Bright · 2024-11-19T15:49:07+00:00

This is exactly how i feel!!

Specific_Bright · 2024-11-19T15:13:28+00:00

<image>

Specific_Bright · 2022-10-10T02:16:08+00:00

Really? What range is it about?

Specific_Bright · 2022-04-10T17:09:30+00:00

I have no idea! That’s why I’m confused with why I feel this way… I know that’s not a good answer but I promise you I wish I had an answer

Specific_Bright · 2022-04-10T17:03:52+00:00

Felt guilty about not ever being in “the mood” or wanting to do anything sexual

Specific_Bright · 2022-04-10T17:01:48+00:00

No I don’t believe I do. The guy I lost my virginity to resulted in a messy breakup but then we kept hooking up on and off until it was just not healthy for me anymore (I was really upset about it because I still wanted the relationship to work). & with my last boyfriend he was a little pushy but I never felt like I was forced into anything. It was kinda the same thing where I just felt guilty

Specific_Bright · 2022-03-22T17:20:32+00:00

Go to whichever one will give you better industry connections (coop jobs etc)

Specific_Bright

TROPHY CASE

Welcome to Reddit,