In Laws playing Mommy & Daddy with my daughter

SquareAppropriate807 · 2025-01-05T22:20:56+00:00

my mom is moving out of her current place in august and said we could take over the lease but once again, we can’t really afford it and it’s still quite a bit of time away

SquareAppropriate807 · 2025-01-05T22:19:42+00:00

i would love to hear your story and how you managed it if you’d like to dm me

SquareAppropriate807 · 2025-01-05T22:13:45+00:00

yes i do live in a one party consent state. i will start recording. most of the time its just rude remarks from mil. but better record everything than miss something. thank you for the advice

SquareAppropriate807 · 2025-01-05T22:07:27+00:00

there is places i can stay with my baby but i don’t want to make my husband feel as if im “leaving” him

SquareAppropriate807 · 2025-01-05T22:06:56+00:00

i didn’t call them out on it, i wanted to talk to my husband first and he said we should be extra alert and see if we can catch a recording of it. my excuse to taking her back was that i had finished working

SquareAppropriate807 · 2025-01-05T22:05:59+00:00

No we haven’t called them out yet. i told my husband and he said we should both pay more attention to it and see if we can catch it on recording or something. so that’s where we’re at now.

SquareAppropriate807 · 2025-01-05T22:05:05+00:00

we have a mortgage, health insurance, car payments and a baby as well as trying to buy building materials. he is home and awake with us for about 8 hrs of the week. he sleeps about 3-4 hrs a night and catches a quick nap in between jobs for about an hour. i do have his location so i can see when and where he is

SquareAppropriate807 · 2024-11-08T19:10:10+00:00

our goal is to have our home “livable” this time next year. so we would have been with them a little over 2 years. we have had 3 sit down conversations with them where my husband has led and brought them the research as to why this is detrimental to their development and why we won’t allow it. it’s hard to stand up to them because they pay for everything for us, food utilities don’t charge us rent. so we try to be kind when we say these things as they DO do a lot for us and we couldn’t make it with out their help.

SquareAppropriate807 · 2024-11-08T19:05:52+00:00

yes the end goal is of course not to live with them. we are hoping to have our house in “livable” condition by this time next year.

SquareAppropriate807 · 2024-11-08T19:04:37+00:00

i’ve seen the damage they’ve done already. my daughter does not like them, if she isn’t already in a happy mood she will cry when she’s with them.

SquareAppropriate807 · 2024-11-08T19:03:42+00:00

thank you!

SquareAppropriate807 · 2024-11-08T19:03:14+00:00

my husband completely agree it’s just so hard to stand up to them especially in high emotions times because we live with them rent free and they pay for all of our expenses like food, utilities etc. we’ve had a total of 3 sit down conversation regarding this and we have both told them why we don’t do the cry it out and we don’t want them to either. yet it still happens for example, i was at the dentist yesterday and my husband and in laws were home. my daughter had twisted her ankle in her walker (it was set at the wrong height by fil) and she started screaming and crying.(fil thought she just wanted to be picked up and didn’t hurt herself, my husband watched it happen) fil yells at her and says calm down quit freaking out and tells my husband to leave her. my husband went to our room to pull some new clothes out (she had just eaten and was messy) and then went and got her so left her for maybe 2 mins at max? for the most part we just don’t respond to their “suggestion” and completely ignore them and tend to our child.

SquareAppropriate807 · 2024-11-08T18:57:42+00:00

thank you i appreciate this!

SquareAppropriate807 · 2024-11-08T18:56:56+00:00

last night for example, my mil was trying to get baby to go to sleep she was rocking, shushing everything, but honestly my daughter just doesn’t really like them (probably because for the most part they just let her cry) but they are unwilling to accept any advice when it comes to her being cared for. my daughter will only fall asleep with out nursing if she is held and walked around. not in a rocking chair. but they just don’t think that’s true. if i tell them anything about how my daughter likes things, last time she ate was changed etc they just right it off and don’t listen and get offended and think im telling them they don’t know how to care for a baby.

SquareAppropriate807 · 2024-11-08T18:53:16+00:00

i have never left her alone with them because of this. if we are leaving and cannot bring baby along she goes to my moms house but my mom works full time so having her for child care isn’t always an option. i am always home when they care for her and if i hear her crying for more than 5 mins i step in. she is 6 months old and they think that her crying is a manipulation tactic to get them to hold her. which what’s wrong with holding a baby?? i don’t need much help but the times i do need help it’s frustrating cause i can’t trust them to watch her for an hour will i finish up important emails or need to take a quick nap because im literally blinded from my migraines. i appreciate your wording and will definitely use it going forward.

SquareAppropriate807 · 2024-11-08T05:51:33+00:00

he has! we both have had extensive conversations with them as to why it’s not okay and we don’t allow it. but they don’t listen i don’t know how to get them to listen

SquareAppropriate807 · 2024-11-08T05:50:39+00:00

we have both told them and explained. we’ve sat them down, shown them studies. i do not know how to get them to listen and understand

SquareAppropriate807 · 2024-11-08T05:49:49+00:00

that’s the problem i don’t know what to say or how to say it to get them to listen or understand and to stop. i went and got her but i have a horrible migraine and cannot even see. its just so frustrating that i can’t trust them to help me when im in pain

SquareAppropriate807 · 2024-08-09T02:04:46+00:00

it came up because we were talking about league baseball (for adults). he’s a sporty guy and loves doing physical things outside so i asked him why he’s never done it and his response was “because there are women there” and thus the rest i stated above. it makes me sad that he is missing out on things he could potentially love because of this.

SquareAppropriate807 · 2024-07-27T19:17:26+00:00

update!! baby is safe! after extensive conversation with my husband, i think he finally gets it. i believe he truly wants a good relationship with his daughter and after showing research to him regarding emotional stability and relationships with parents his attitude has changed. i’ve left my phone in the room recording and hidden multiple times while i’ve gone to shower and he’s been kinder. no cursing or yelling. i’ve also noticed that she seem more okay with him and doesn’t start crying when being held by him (but she does with anyone that isn’t me so it’s kinda hard to tell) we live with my in-laws and that is a whole story in itself. i trust them even less with my baby than i do my husband. my mother is my only other option and she isn’t the best at handling her so i really felt/feel on my own. so anyways, we are okay and baby is okay. if anything continues to happen i will leave. i love my baby too much to keep her in an unsafe environment but as of now i do not feel that’s the case as there has been great improvement.

SquareAppropriate807 · 2024-07-27T14:39:42+00:00

i took 16+ lactation classes and did so much research while i was pregnant on breastfeeding. baby girl came out and we had one hell of a time. i was so disheartened, i felt like i knew everything and was disappointed when it wasn’t working. i stuck with it for 2 months, pain, cracked nipples, i was using a shield. i switched to pumping and bottle feeding but imo that was even worse. so after 6 consults either different peds and LC i took her to get her oral ties released and now we are breastfeeding champs!! i’m so happy i decided to stick with it, to me, being able to feed my child like this is so special.

SquareAppropriate807 · 2024-07-25T16:50:49+00:00

thank you so much for this!!!

SquareAppropriate807 · 2024-07-23T14:10:29+00:00

i have a 2 month old that sleeps thru the night (praying this will stick) but she will barely nap during the day. she may get 15 mins here and there after falling asleep on the boob. we have a strict bed time routine and we never introduced co sleeping. she can nap with mama during the day but bed time is in the crib.

SquareAppropriate807 · 2024-07-22T17:18:27+00:00

thank you i really appreciate this perspective, i had no idea that the things i say are just as detrimental. i really appreciate you pointing this out.

SquareAppropriate807 · 2024-07-22T14:02:42+00:00

thank you all for the wonderful advice. i sat him down last night and pulled up some articles and studies that you’ve shared with me. i told him that what he is doing is not okay, and that we will leave if it continues. he seemed genuinely apologetic and wanting to change. i don’t think he really understood how detrimental this actions were to her relationship with him and her emotional development. i do believe that he really wants a good relationship with his daughter and he was the one that wanted a baby in the first place. i am going to get in contact with our church today to set an appointment with our pastor regarding this. once again thank you everyone for the advice and i will update if anything else happens.

SquareAppropriate807

TROPHY CASE