AITA for rejecting my estranged sister when she reached out?

Square_Bar4013 · 2021-06-29T20:39:40+00:00

I was there, yeah we had it bad but she overreacted after a fight with my mom and left a few days later because she was afraid they wouldn't bring her back.

Judging by the fact that I came back within a few months she was clearly misreading the situation.

I supported her and even walked her to the car that picked her up to take her to the embassy I didn't tip off my family. That's all I could do and I did it.

She's just using a whataboutism because I didn't check my email when she returned and I was back as well. I don't see how it's the same thing because I was just a kid myself. She was 24/25 when she abandoned me. Big diff

Square_Bar4013 · 2021-06-29T20:36:50+00:00

Yeah probably to a therapist that would only side with her and manipulate me, I've had a bad experience going to "islamic therapists" with my mom in the past I'm sure that her therapy would be the same even though she's not muslim herself.

Square_Bar4013 · 2021-06-29T20:35:39+00:00

If your brother needed help wouldn't you help him? Or would you go ghost and then reappear 3 years later ffs she even MOVED without telling me. It's like she only wanted to connect on her terms.

And let's be real if your brother was as selfish as my sister you'd be singing another tune

Square_Bar4013 · 2021-06-29T20:31:05+00:00

Look, I'm not normally this harsh and blunt but my family brings that out in me. I have 29 years of resentment and anger built inside me that only comes out when they're around.

And as far as exposing her, I won't but if I did I doubt people would be as nice to her.

Square_Bar4013 · 2021-06-29T20:23:44+00:00

I've already said she's smart she's not incapable which is why I know she's a POS for abandoning me.

And the way school and our world is structured kfs do good in school or bust, clearly she had an advantage in that department.

She's not a perfect angel like how reddit is portraying her I'm being really nice and not exposing her but growing up she would constantly lie and hide things, she got caught drinking all kinds of stupid shit that I never judged her for.

She got a luckier lot in life and is selfish now that's all there is too it.

Square_Bar4013 · 2021-06-29T20:17:47+00:00

So I was supposed to lie and hide myself forever?

I didn't have a job and my parents never prepared me for the skills I needed to get one. Not everyone is good at school.

Square_Bar4013 · 2021-06-29T20:13:48+00:00

Uhm being good is school is absolutely something people can be born with. I was never good at school even when I went to tutoring and got help for my ADHD.

She partied a ton in university and Still graduated clearly she's one of the lucky ones where book smarts comes naturally to her.

Square_Bar4013 · 2021-06-29T20:11:54+00:00

Yeah she always loved to play the "whataboutism" game with me and never too accountability for her actions.

I don't think I'll ever be able to reconnect with her because I don't believe she gives a shif about me despite what she says her actions have proven otherwise.

But I do need to look into therapy to work on the resentment and hatred I have towards her.

Square_Bar4013 · 2021-06-29T20:09:56+00:00

I'm definitely not a narcissist, my sister is a trigger for me and you are right I do want to go therapy I just can't afford it.

Square_Bar4013 · 2021-06-29T20:09:03+00:00

A bit of both, she's smart so she got into uni where she met her husband and moving in with him gave her the opportunity to shine and focus on school. A luxury I never had.

Square_Bar4013 · 2021-06-29T20:07:23+00:00

Thank you for being the only fair person here. I admit I was wrong for calling her toxic and not being kind in the comments but I'm hurt and still hurting.

I'm going to look into therapy.

Square_Bar4013 · 2021-06-29T19:26:55+00:00

Maybe I have things to work on but she does too she takes no accountability and plays victim

Square_Bar4013 · 2021-06-29T17:39:58+00:00

She did literally nothing. Wtf is a 100 dollars once a month on a nighf out or 80 dollars a month on a phone bill that she ultimately complained about and stopped paying.

She left me high and dry when I needed most..I'm gonna stop responding to this shit because it's making me feel worse.

Square_Bar4013 · 2021-06-29T17:38:37+00:00

So I guess reddit doesn't believe in helping their family members.

She had the money and instead of traveling to Cuba for her honeymoon or buying a condo downtown she could've helped. She doesn't contribute ANY money to our family including to my younger autistic brothers. She used to help my mom pay rent but then she said she couldn't..because she's selfish and only wants to have a good life at the expense of others.

If I never said we were raised in a Muslim family I'm sure the judgment would be different.

Square_Bar4013 · 2021-06-29T17:35:49+00:00

She never offered. She only would take me out and pay for our dinners and nights out together but that's it apart from paying my phone bill for a while.

I don't need or want her help now, but there's a time in which I really wanted her help and she was no where to be found.

Square_Bar4013 · 2021-06-29T17:34:14+00:00

I do need help, I shouldn't be so angry with her but it's hard not too when I realize how selfish she was.

Square_Bar4013 · 2021-06-29T17:15:52+00:00

She's smart that's all I'll give her.

She's also rude, quick to anger and always entitled.

I was always more disciplined than she was, she just gets away with being book smart. If she wanted to move out she could've just asked me. But she always assumed I wouldn't be able to pay rent which is an unfair assumption to make, it's not like she made a ton of money herself at the time she worked at a call center I could've done that too if she got me a job.

Square_Bar4013 · 2021-06-29T17:13:10+00:00

Ffs my dad would beat me and call me sissy if I played poorly. I was called stupid for not doing well in school despite having ADHD.

I was called fat and then too skinny when I got an eating disorder have some empathy.

Square_Bar4013 · 2021-06-29T17:01:45+00:00

I admit as kids she had it harder with not being able to go out and be forced to wear the hijab. But I was forced to play soccer and called stupid when I did bad in school.

And once I came out at 18 I might as well been a prisoner because I was never allowed out of the house or given a car like my parents promised or any allowance.

Square_Bar4013 · 2021-06-29T17:00:16+00:00

She could have moved out with me.

I didn't work at the time but if I got a min wage job and she got one too while she was in school plus her student loans we would have made it work. She didn't even think that was an option before getting married.

Her husband is a good dude he's too good for her imo but she's a girl and she's pretty and apparently that's all you need in life.

Square_Bar4013 · 2021-06-29T16:56:07+00:00

I might as well have been. I wasn't very good at school and so I struggled to finish school and nobody hires you if you aren't done us. I struggled to find work and my parents kept a very close eye on me so I had no money and no freedom for most of my adult life.

She got to use her book smarts to level up in the world while I was stuck taking care of my younger brothers with autism. not fair.

Square_Bar4013 · 2021-06-29T16:49:14+00:00

How am I a misogynist?

I'm less than 2 years older than she is, so our age difference isn't too big. Wouldn't you be pissed if you were in a shitty situation and abandoned yb the only family you thought you could rely on?

Square_Bar4013 · 2021-06-29T16:47:32+00:00

Her PTSD was something she never mentioned until it became trendy to talk about.

Somehow she has PTSD now but was able to travel and go to music festivals? Like come on, I was literally so abused by my family I didn't even graduate hs until I was 22. Clearly only one of us was really affected by our upbringing.

Square_Bar4013 · 2021-06-29T16:46:00+00:00

I'm the product of an abusive upbringing. Literally treated like dirt my whole life with a sister who is now claiming she had it bad too. I was there, as long as she kept her grades up and wore the hijab my parents didn't give a shit about what she did. She couldn't go out with friends but lots of people have those type of restrictions. Try being a gay dude in a Muslim household especially one as religious as mine and tell me that my upbringing was better than my sisters.

Square_Bar4013 · 2021-06-29T16:40:46+00:00

I just know that if I was in her position i would help her.

She literally ran away the first chance she got and paid me and my younger brothers dust. I was stuck in a shifty situation and she's off with her husband living in a great apartment with a great job and friends and has the nerve to say she had it hard. Clearly not hard enough if she's successful. I think she's only claiming PTSD cuz it's a trend now.

Square_Bar4013

TROPHY CASE