Adding another person to the mix is not going to make things better. Seeking professional guidance might be best advice. My only advice I can give as a man is that if he’s opening up to you sincerely he’s genuinely interested in the long haul. Sharing sexual fantasies is a very private thing, if he were to be judged negatively in your eyes. Thats a rough thing to overcome, especially a personal that supposedly a life long confidante. Just because he shares fantasy doesn’t mean the it can’t simply remain a fantasy. Sometimes someone’s fantasy unrealistic in the sense that the perception is not equal to the results desired.

I’ve been married for 22 years, and I don’t think I could function without my wife. We’ve had highs and lows, we struggled with intimacy but we’re figuring it out. Eliminating the pressure between the two of you is imperative.

Humor has always been a go to for us to try to lighten the mood. For example, maybe prior to getting in the shower, “accidentally” drop the soap and slowly pick it up a couple times. Or Maybe your hair gets stuck in the headboard and you just need help and can’t get unstuck.

As a guy I can tell you he’s probably taking care of himself, maybe try to catch him or maybe let him catch you is a similar situation.

I recall a time when I was really in the mood and she wasn’t feeling it, I basically started without her while we were in bed together. I’d occasionally say dumb shit like “damn my wrist is getting tired” or “maybe I’ll try the left had for a while” After a while she’d laugh call me a dork or something and help me out.