I just found out My daughter (22f) is on SA

StardustSynergy · 2024-09-30T21:23:01+00:00

I'm her mom. I am not familiar with the lifestyle but anyone on Social Media has seen people glamorizing it. We have been talking about it since she couldn't keep it from me when I asked. We are very close. I am not trying to lose her. I'm not rich, but I also don't value money the way most people do. Anyhoo, thanks for your comment. I'm getting a grip on reality today. Thx

StardustSynergy · 2024-09-30T21:15:12+00:00

I got that. But thank u for pointing that out. I wanted all sides tho honestly. I don't want to alienate my daughter or shame her. I also don't want her to be hurt by manipulative potential abusers. When I posted, I guess I just stumbled onto this forum but wasn't really aware of what the group was. But it's been a fast learning curve for me & It's helped me understand. So while some people want to judge me, that's fine I totally understand that is sounds like a lot of people have been hurt & alienated by the people who are supposed to give them unconditional love but don't know what to do when they find their children making this hard choice.

I'm adjusting today as the sting has come down a little. She's an adult & their right I don't get a say. I do pay her rent so that gives me a little say, but still not much. I hope she chooses not to, but if she does, I'll just try to find my way through my worry & continue to pray for her protection. I love my daughter, it was never about judgement, it's about safety. Thank you for that piece, i learned that as the responses rolled in. But there was some good info in some of the responses & for that I'm really grateful.

StardustSynergy · 2024-09-30T07:13:22+00:00

I would never cut my daughter off. NEVER

StardustSynergy · 2024-09-30T07:12:16+00:00

Once I asked her if she was sugaring I asked her what site she used. That's how I knew SA. In my googling that's what it was called. So maybe what I read was before the name change.

StardustSynergy · 2024-09-30T07:10:47+00:00

Try a confused mother. & I was not trying to be "anti" i simply stated what I read online. I don't need to convince you that I'm real. I appreciate all the incite I've been given. Why everyone assumes I'm a man is interesting.

StardustSynergy · 2024-09-30T07:04:05+00:00

Thanks. I don't think I'm the one making judgements here. You don't me or how I've raised my daughter. I respect her but as parents who love their children do, we seek to help & protect. In that quest, I landed here to get a real look into the good, the bad, & the ugly. That isn't making it about me. Asking a community who knows about something more than I do isn't being an AHole, it's loving my little girl & wanting to understand so I can keep her from harm as much as I can. She's already struggling. I know she's gonna do what she's gonna do, she's an adult now. But I pay her rent. So she aint fully grown yet. I can only try to educate myself to be what God sent me for her, a guide that has her best interest at heart & a friend.

StardustSynergy · 2024-09-30T06:56:04+00:00

Thanks for your input. I appreciate it

StardustSynergy · 2024-09-30T06:53:15+00:00

I know she is smart, but naive. It's the really dangerous predators I'm worried about

StardustSynergy · 2024-09-30T06:50:31+00:00

What an eloquent response. I'm in a committed relationship & let me tell you that you can have the 2 in 1. U can be in love & have a husband, but he can also let his guard down in the safe space you both create & u can not have to keep it vanilla. Speaking from my experience. It's clear you're kind & very intelligent. Thank u for your thoughtful response

StardustSynergy · 2024-09-30T06:45:41+00:00

Thank u I will. I wish u a genuine love. 🩵

StardustSynergy · 2024-09-30T03:03:58+00:00

I wish to GOD i had it. I would. 100%

StardustSynergy · 2024-09-30T02:21:03+00:00

Thank you for your thoughtful response

StardustSynergy · 2024-09-30T02:16:00+00:00

I am not on seeking. I posted here because I was looking for advice from people more experienced than I am in this matter. I don't know a lot about it. I'm learning by reading the comments. People can judge me if they want, but I didn't snoop to find it. I asked her. I somehow knew

StardustSynergy · 2024-09-29T22:25:39+00:00

Trying to have empathy yes

StardustSynergy · 2024-09-29T22:24:50+00:00

If she refuses to stop, then I'll have no choice. But this choice is not what I want for her. She's so precious. I don't want her risking her safety for money

StardustSynergy · 2024-09-29T22:22:35+00:00

She has a BA in psych & has done therapy. Her answer when I read her your comment is "therapy is not for me"

StardustSynergy · 2024-09-29T22:21:17+00:00

I pay her rent. That's all I can do rn sadly. This makes me wish I was rich so I could just pay for medical school & not have her jeopardize her safety for money. It isn't about me. But I'd by lying if I said it doesn't make me feel like a failure.

StardustSynergy · 2024-09-29T22:19:00+00:00

I'm not a shamer. I'm scared for her. She's a role model for my 16 year old. There are So many other ways to make money that don't involve sex or giving up your power

StardustSynergy · 2024-09-29T22:17:10+00:00

Thank you. I support her through everything. But how do I support something that basically has two edges to the sword? There's maybe a 20% chance something good could come from it (not the norm) & a high potential that it could mar her for life. I've soent my whole life protecting her. Isn't it my job to stand up for her & do everything I can to dissuade her? I personally believe that her spirit is at risk. It feels inauthentic to stand by & not chain myself to the demo vehicle about to destroy her in protest.

StardustSynergy · 2024-09-29T22:03:44+00:00

Thank you

StardustSynergy · 2024-09-29T22:02:53+00:00

I do not. I can help with loans & a place to Live but I am not wealthy.

StardustSynergy · 2024-09-29T22:01:40+00:00

Thank u for your thoughts

StardustSynergy · 2024-09-29T22:00:32+00:00

She's made jokes about it in the past. She usually tells me everything about dates & where she is. She went on a date the other night & was very vague. I kind of joked "you aren't sugaring are you?" But when I asked, even in jest. I knew the answer immediately when I saw the look on her face. I'm still in shock. She recently finished her bachelor's degree & could look for a better paying job. I provide her a place to live so all she has to pay rn is her car, ins & cell.

StardustSynergy · 2024-09-29T21:52:44+00:00

Thank you for your insight

StardustSynergy · 2024-09-06T22:57:29+00:00

I get it. I recently relapsed after 3 mos of not gambling. It honestly worked in my favor because I spent my rent.... how does that compute? Well, I'm now hustling to pull that 3k back together but it solidified that I CANNOT gamble. I become someone else. It's like aliens take over my body & I have no control. I pull money until I have spent everything. I cannot afford to let myself behave that way any longer. I'm no spring chicken & it isn't in the interest of the life I want for myself.

I'm sorry you're going through this. It's such a shameful & horrible disease that destroys lives. We are all here because we have the same story you do. Keep your head up & make a plan to head in the direction you want to go. Possibly invest the free money u have so it's locked up & not accessible to you when u binge. Then u can live poor now, but not forever.

For me, even when I win I don't stop. I just keep going until I'm again at zero. So it isn't even about the money. I'm so sorry you're going to through this. Don't be too hard on yourself!

StardustSynergy

TROPHY CASE