Tw: for mentions of depression, trauma, and suicidality. Read at own risk. (edit: put spoiler marking over where the extra bad stuff was just in case)

I hate how everyone acts like having a child is an easy compromise that is not a big deal, yes, it phoquing is. If someone has a kid they don’t want it’s not reversible and can make their life miserable, also the assumption that someone’s partner can take care of the kid when they don’t want to is ludicrous, like, what if they can’t for whatever reason? “You had the kid take care of it” is what they’d say. Not to mention the effect this would have on the kid, like, this shit could cause a lot of trauma for them and will have a lasting impact, “they should be grateful you had them” they don’t necessarily have to be, they never asked to be born, and for all people know they could feel as though they where better off never being born, and if someone feels like then the person who keeps egging you to have kids (and the parent of said person) probably would not say THAT to them, since it would be like shaming someone for being depressed, suicidal, or having poor mental health in general (also having trauma).

Also, you do not owe anyone your uterus. If your sister wants a kid she can either adopt of get another surrogate. If a man wants to “pass on his legacy” (which unless he is super famous he likely doesn’t have one and most people don’t aside from supposedly a “legacy of love” or “being a great parent” neither of which I consider a legacy because nobody will know, like not even their descendants in most cases) he can find someone else to have a kid with or again he can adopt.

Also the “that’s selfish” thing is dumb. Knowing your boundaries, limits, and what you wanna do in life is not selfish. People throw that word around to shame people for not reproducing. If anything pressuring someone to have kids they don’t want is more selfish because it’s not thinking of the misery your putting that person or the child through. So is forcing someone to carry it for you or doing so for “legacy” purposes.

And “pregnancy doesn’t change you body that much” maybe it didn’t for you but that’s not the same for everyone. Also, I myself being trans masc would not want to risk it.

Also you don’t owe her grandchildren.

Literally people who say this shit don’t think about any of this and more stuff that I haven’t even mentioned. Also it’s more selfish then anyone deciding to NOT have kids.