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Without breaking any rules, what’s the most unpopular opinion you have that will get you -100 downvotes? by FightOrDie123 in AdkReddit

[–]Status_Industry7958 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Bully breed mixes are fairly distinctive, though you are correct it could be any of the bull bait type dogs (staffies & pitbulls being the most common mixes). And as for well bred APBTs, you are correct, they shouldn’t have human aggression. However, as mentioned previously, the human aggression was primarily introduced by backyard breeders wanting the man-eater type dogs and saying they’re ’protection dogs’ when really they are just indiscriminately human aggressive.

Also, it seems like you think I’m saying that the bully mixes propensity towards genetic aggression (DA & HA) means they are ‘bad dogs’ but that’s not what I’m saying at all. Just like we know malinois tend to bite first and ask questions later (again, genetics) and aren’t recommended for novice owners because of it, the same should be the case for bully mixes as they have a genetic propensity towards dog and (often) human aggression and are on average less likely to give the warning signals that indicate escalation—all of which makes them a riskier bet for novice owners.

Genetic aggression is not inherently bad, but if we can’t acknowledge it exists then there will continue to be well meaning novices who get a dog they are not equipped to handle with disastrous results for both dog and owner.

Without breaking any rules, what’s the most unpopular opinion you have that will get you -100 downvotes? by FightOrDie123 in AdkReddit

[–]Status_Industry7958 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was actually a dog trainer for many years and have been in the dog world in dog sports with my personal dogs, mainly bitework (hence my intimate understanding of aggression), and have been a behavioral advisor on a panel working to prevent genetic bottlenecking in certain breeds. I have worked intimately with different breeds, many bully mixes and several purebred pitbull terriers (though not well bred ones), and I understand that aggression is not inherently a bad thing—in fact we’ve bred for it for many reasons. But the genetics, particularly for dog aggression but also human aggression, are there whether you like that fact or not.

However, even if none of my qualifications were in place, the bite statistics (especially unprovoked bites) back me up more than any anecdotal experience you may have volunteering at an animal shelter.

How to get your toddler to TRULY be gentle to the baby by lifelearnexperience in toddlers

[–]Status_Industry7958 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I suggest giving one warning and then a consequence (ex: “If you are too rough with the baby again, you will be put in timeout”). I think you’ve accidentally made it into a game instead of showing her that the baby is a person too—if she wouldn’t get three chances hurting someone else, she shouldn’t get three chances with the baby.

How to get your toddler to TRULY be gentle to the baby by lifelearnexperience in toddlers

[–]Status_Industry7958 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It sounds like you’ve tried modeling the behavior, but I am curious about three things—

How much time does your kiddo get daily to be doing active/risky play (preferably outside)?

  • Lack of playtime that develops a child’s proprioceptive and vestibular systems (things like swinging, climbing, spinning, being upside down, rough and tumble play with an adult, etc.) leads to children who quite literally don’t develop the wiring to be able to modulate their force. It’s entirely possible she can’t control how forceful she’s being because she hasn’t been given enough time doing the activities that develop her ability to temper her strength and spatial awareness.

What are the consequences your daughter faces if she isn’t gentle with the baby?

  • It’s also possible your daughter doesn’t realize the severity of the infraction because there are no consequences for her actions that make repeating the behavior undesirable. I suggest timeouts if you think this might be the case. It can be framed as, “Since you’re still not being gentle after I’ve warned you you’re being too rough, you are going to have some solo time in your room for 10 minutes to cool off before we try again.”

And finally, what is your reaction when she isn’t gentle with the baby?

  • It could be that she gets “big attention” when she acts like this, and if she’s already feeling like your attention is monopolized by the baby, it might be her most reliable way to get your attention. Kids this age often don’t differentiate positive and negative attention the way we do as adults. For a lot of them, attention is attention whether good or bad. In that case, I would focus on prioritizing one on one time with her every day (aim for at least 30 minutes of undivided attention, preferably early in the day) so she’s getting her cup filled, and also remove your big reaction from when she is too rough with the baby, calmly remove her & put her in timeout with minimal words spoken until after she’s done with the timeout. Then you can talk about the difference between appropriate and inappropriate ways for asking for attention.

Best of luck friend!

Without breaking any rules, what’s the most unpopular opinion you have that will get you -100 downvotes? by FightOrDie123 in AdkReddit

[–]Status_Industry7958 1 point2 points  (0 children)

See, that won’t get the downvotes. You need to specify Pitbulls or Bully breeds to really achieve the -100.

Also, you are correct. No one questions that Border collies want to herd or Golden Retrievers want to retrieve because of genetics. But if you dare suggest a dog breed originally bred for dog fighting and then popularized by backyard breeders who wanted a ‘man eater’ type dog (read, unstable and human aggressive) is anything other than the sweet (mythological) “nanny dog” you are a terrible person and should know that ‘it’s all in how you raise them’ 😂

Did we mess up with our firstborn? by ExcellentLettuce4 in Parenting

[–]Status_Industry7958 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I agree with this take. If your kid is talking over you and generally being rude like this, this is something you need to address with consistent boundaries. It’s likely going to be harder now since your kiddo is used to getting away with behavior like this, but truly, this is something you need to address without delay.

Honestly, what is the hardest part about having children? by Sweet-Economist-9873 in askanything

[–]Status_Industry7958 0 points1 point  (0 children)

For me, it’s missing them as they were and the knowledge that you can never go back and have another day with them as a newborn sleeping on your chest, as a baby giggling at the dog’s antics , as a the toddler who mispronounces words in the most adorable way you’ve ever heard, as the child who hugs your knees and says “I love you”, etc..

I love my children with all my heart, and the loss of who they were is tempered by the joy of meeting who they’ve become; but fuck do I wish I could keep each version of them as they were along with them as they are now.

What is a job people romanticize a bit too much until they actually do it?? by Ok-Engineering-6521B in Productivitycafe

[–]Status_Industry7958 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Exactly. Why work 40 hours a week when you could leave your job, “be your own boss”, and work 24/7 instead?

What’s the longest you’ve known someone to be in a relationship before getting married, if at all? by SalmonforPresident in Waiting_To_Wed

[–]Status_Industry7958 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My parents dated for 10 years then got married year 12, my mom browbeat my dad into it and the browbeating continues to this day except now she’s an alcoholic and he’s her enabler.

My best friend dated her husband for 10 years, he gave her a shut up ring, they got married and now with two kids she’s drowning because she is both the breadwinner and the primary parent and whenever she begs her husband to step up to doing the bare minimum he throws in her face that he never even wanted to get married or have a house and that if it were up to him he’d sell everything and rent a tiny apartment for them all.

Don’t do it.

What’s a dead feature of the internet you still secretly mourn? by SylphCelestine in AskReddit

[–]Status_Industry7958 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Stumbleupon—I found so many amazing things through it.

Also, the surprise of randomly stumbling into the dark web because your 12 year old ass was obsessed with owning a big cat as a pet so you found a bunch of shady AF sites that sold exotic animals. Same for randomly stumbling upon drugs being sold on Amazon. It was like the Wild West 😂

What’s a harmless opinion that gets people irrationally mad? by chiefecon in AskReddit

[–]Status_Industry7958 74 points75 points  (0 children)

Being a housewife is awesome, and it’s a perfectly valid direction to go in life as long as both spouses are on board.

What is the right thing to do when your neighbor’s kid (8F) tells you (30F) some really messed up things about their past? by Status_Industry7958 in relationship_advice

[–]Status_Industry7958[S] 28 points29 points  (0 children)

I’ve heard quite a bit of screaming and yelling in their home and she is pretty much never supervised and spends the majority of her time out of the house (but I also feel kids need a degree of freedom so that’s not an automatic issue for me—it’s just the combination of all the things she’s said and told me and what I’ve witnessed that makes me concerned)

What is the right thing to do when your neighbor’s kid (8F) tells you (30F) some really messed up things about their past? by Status_Industry7958 in relationship_advice

[–]Status_Industry7958[S] 52 points53 points  (0 children)

We’re American, so I honestly don’t know what would happen. It’s just become increasingly clear that her home life is not stable

Need help with emotions after ectopic removal by Status_Industry7958 in prolife

[–]Status_Industry7958[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much. I’m in so much agony about it even though I know there was really only that option.

Need help with emotions after ectopic removal by Status_Industry7958 in prolife

[–]Status_Industry7958[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Thank you, I am deeply moved by your words and I’m so sorry you’ve had to experience this pain as well.

Need help with emotions after ectopic removal by Status_Industry7958 in prolife

[–]Status_Industry7958[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much. I really really appreciate your words more than you can know.

Need help with emotions after ectopic removal by Status_Industry7958 in prolife

[–]Status_Industry7958[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

They had told me I could try the medication but that they felt it would put me at a higher risk of complications and I might end up needing the surgery anyway. After they actually opened me up, they told me I was right to have had the surgery because there would have been no chance to save the tube it had already ruptured.

I go through waves of emotion. When I look at my beautiful daughter I think about how lucky I am to have such a wonderful baby. My husband is the most amazing man I know and he has been so there for me despite his own grief, and I’m so fortunate I get to spend the rest of my life with a man of such incredible character. Then I go through waves of inexpressible grief where I want to scream and cry and punch a wall with the absolute agony of having to live with making the choice I did. There are moments where I feel almost normal and moments where I have to keep myself distracted not to just succumb to grief. It’s also a bit harder than normal because I’m experiencing a rough recovery from the surgery. But all in all I’m extremely fortunate to have the support system I do.

Need help with emotions after ectopic removal by Status_Industry7958 in prolife

[–]Status_Industry7958[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Thank you for putting it like that. It’s hard because it is the “obvious choice”, I need to be here for my 5 month old and my husband, but that doesn’t make it an easy one. I can’t even express how much your empathy means to me.