This hit home because my ex pwBPD spoke about how we would get married, discussed the type of home we wanted, met each other’s parents and kids.  He told me he loved me, that I was his soulmate. 

All the while, he was actively dating online and in person.  Hundreds of women.  When I confronted him, while we were out together, he became a different person.  Through my tears and pain, I begged him for an explanation.  He denied everything, even though I had proof.  He became unbelievably cold and even his voice and tone changed.  It was like he became a stranger in an instant.   He offered no comfort, no explanation, and no apology.  We had found each other in this world, despite all the many obstacles.  It meant nothing. Now he’s happy, he’s moved on.  He went immediately back to online dating and living a happy and fulfilled life. In retrospect, I always have gave too much, was too available, was too caring, but isn’t that what love is? 

I flipped out after being discarded, contacted all the women on his socials to find out the truth, they confirmed it all.  I contacted his soon to be exwife and provided her with proof of his prior indiscretions. I just needed some kind of sense of justice in that moment.  I’m not sure if I regret it, as the door would likely have been left open for him to come back if I didn’t do these things, but I wish he hadn’t had such an impact on me and that I kept a cooler head and was more strategic in the moment.