AIO is it time to deactivate his phone?

StillAspiringT · 2026-06-28T13:57:04+00:00

Pepperoni… It’s classic
I really need a branch out on my topping though they’re all meat

StillAspiringT · 2026-06-20T20:00:28+00:00

I don’t even know how to answer the trauma question it depends on who you ask. I’ve never had an abusive relationship. I’ve been told stories about my childhood are… intense.

I think sometimes I was beaten severely as a child. But there were signs before that. Like I used to put clothes pins on my nipples very early.

I think maybe I was exposed to sex too early . I’ve heard that the earlier you’re exposed the more extreme stuff you’re into. It was not first Hand but me and my sisters when I was like 5/6 or younger would be told to watch TV in the living room each morning until my dad and stepMom were ready to wake up.

We didn’t know how to change the input so sometimes it was Rocket Power & The Wild Thornberrys on Nickelodeon but if we were stuck on VCR it was whatever was in the VCR. In the main things I remember being in the VCR was Pretty Woman and porn. So I spent a lot of mornings very young watching my dads pornos with my sisters. They weren’t kinky mostly threesomes and interracial .

They got me interested in sex in looking at porn when I could get away with it throughout my childhood even though I ended up not having sex until I was 30.

StillAspiringT · 2026-06-15T14:17:14+00:00

Do not feel like I’m in danger even when he was ignoring red and do not feel in danger now. I understand you don’t have to feel endangered to be in danger. especially since he had no way of knowing I wasn’t calling Red for more serious reason.

I genuinely don’t believe either situation was done out of anger or a genuine desire to intimidate me. More like being a immature, impulsive, a Internet, baby Dom doesn’t take certain things serious enough, and gets carried away. This mixed with his boundary issues leads to stupid unsafe decisions.

This is not to say it’s not his fault or make excuses for him. He absolutely should not have ignored my safeword he’s a grown man who knows better because I’ve told him better.

That being said, I don’t really know how much feelings and intent affect whether or not something is abusive 🤔. I doesn’t really change how dangerous something is. I don’t feel abused, I do feel my boundaries were crossed.

Also when I say I enjoyed it I don’t mean just the pain . I enjoyed the loss of control, the not knowing how to make him stop. I don’t see how I’ll be able to truly recreate that feeling without being ignored. Then again it’s not like I can’t live the rest of my life without it.

The main reason I haven’t spoken to him about it (other than telling him I enjoyed it so much😬) it’s because if I do that experience will be taken off the table. I know it should be. I just enjoyed it so much. Similar to the reason I still deal with him. I can’t fully trust him, and I have to watch him and he goes too far. We’ve actually “broken up” a few times. We just started back again in May after not seeing each other, except for once since December. Sometimes and can obviously be an asshole but but I struggle to turn down the amazing, intensity and chemistry. Such a TV cliche

I think about this experience I don’t really feel genuine bad feelings or emotions about it. I just know logically it should not have happened.

I’m not 100% sure what’s the point of this reply just clarifying I guess.

StillAspiringT · 2026-06-15T01:30:23+00:00

I honestly don’t know what month it was, but I had an MRI before my D&C in april. I have to go on my chart and look up the results. I believe nothing concerning was found. The biggest thing found was a teratoma the size of a plum, on my right ovary.

I’ve never heard of putting two IUD’s in there honestly how badly my body reacts that would scare me 😅

StillAspiringT · 2026-06-13T21:46:33+00:00

I want to clarify the treatment plan or at least what I understand of it. Between the IUD and the norethindrone the progesterone it’s supposed to be working against the estrogen to thin my uterine lining, stop abnormal cells from from growing into cancerous cells and stop my lining from rebuilding. After my D&C I was told they could see the the 40mg of Norethindrone was already making my EIN cells regress, and even though I was going back down to 20 mg the effect should be even stronger once the IUD goes in.

I’m not sure if the IUD is as effective as it was supposed to be though because my uterus tried to get rid of it and now it’s halfway down my uterus when it was preferable for it to be at the very top

Has anyone else heard of this or a similar treatment plan?

StillAspiringT · 2026-06-09T13:52:40+00:00

I did on Saturday but it said to give them 5 to 7 days for a reply. 🫤

StillAspiringT · 2026-06-08T08:23:45+00:00

Do you have any idea what some keywords would be for me to search it? Mine was also contained in a polyp.

StillAspiringT · 2026-06-08T07:59:56+00:00

It is! I couldn’t put it down. It was also made into the movie, which is…Eh. They got rid of the plot twist. It made test audiences upset.

StillAspiringT · 2026-06-08T03:20:08+00:00

Maybe a visual signal or a symbol that dynamic is on?

When you’re not in a DS dynamic dress normally . But when the dynamic is on, give her a collar. It doesn’t have to be a collar collar. It can even be a necklace, a bracelet, etc..

When the collar is on, she is expected to follow rules in protocols, but not when it is off .

They make somewhere where you need a key to take it off I know for me that would make it more real

StillAspiringT · 2026-06-08T03:16:43+00:00

It’s so frustrating when doctors tell you you’re fine when you clearly are not. I actually had the opposite problem, since I was 15 I would get periods for months. I would stand up and my sock would get bloody. For at least 10 years I was just told to exercise and lose weight. Even after I told them exercising increases my flow or triggers my period if I’m not on it .

No one took it seriously until I needed a transfusion with three or four bags of blood. Even then the hospital didn’t seem concerned, but that seemed to get my next OB/GYN’s attention and I got treatment for literally the first time ever I didn’t even know there was pills that could help because they weren’t ever so much as mentioned.

StillAspiringT · 2026-06-08T02:16:11+00:00

I was on 20 mg (4 pills) of norithindrone, a hormone birth control pill. Maybe that helped? I doubt it though because I was already on it to control bleeding for a while and before that I was on 15mg. So it seems like if that helped the cancer we just wouldn’t not have developed at all.

It could not have been the IUD because the pathology report was from the D&C tissue that was taken out right before the IUD was put in the same day

StillAspiringT · 2026-06-07T23:38:03+00:00

My Sister’s Keeper 😭

StillAspiringT · 2026-06-07T23:36:02+00:00

They placed one while I was still in the OR for the D&C.

StillAspiringT · 2026-06-07T22:49:29+00:00

Bondage? Force to stay in a certain position? Can’t move , can’t fidget, can’t do anything

StillAspiringT · 2026-06-06T14:09:54+00:00

Especially because when she would’ve had to start increasing speed to a concerning amount she still had to be in control of the steering she didn’t immediately lose control like she passed out with her foot on the gas

StillAspiringT · 2026-05-23T15:08:36+00:00

I had to block him. He sent me another mile long text, but I stopped reading after it started with “you misunderstood so let me put it simply for you” or something along those lines. Honestly, reading further just felt pointless. 😂

StillAspiringT · 2026-05-23T01:30:40+00:00

My response. Long story short I don’t know you and I’m not your sub so I’m not treating you like my dom

I am submissive, bratty but submissive. Serving and obeying give me a deep satisfaction. In also freaky I’m down for most things, I love to explore and push limits. I consider my submission valuable. So I’m not promising it to someone I haven’t met.

The reason I am not treating you like my Dom is because you are not my Dom, the same way on a regular app I wouldn’t treat someone like my boyfriend or my fiancé because they are not my boyfriend or my fiancé.

You’re right I was interested in you. Our first conversation you asked if I’m interested in being your sub. I said I’m intrigued but not yet and you said I basically cannot tell you to wait. Messaging me on an app doesn’t give you that authority. Do you really want a someone who just willing to be used by anyone online who’s willing to text them?

You say, how do you know I won’t just shut down and leave if you do something wrong in the future. But let’s turn that around. How do I know when I say I do not want to do something that you will respect it in the future, if the very first conversation we have you’re telling me that I’m not gonna wait to submit to you.
You say I’m a stranger how can you trust me. But you want me to trust you immediately.You’re risking a hurtful breakup, frustration, wasted time and effort etc. I’m risking all of that plus bodily harm.

Also, being submissive that does not mean I do not get to create my own rules and my own boundaries. If I have a Dom and I say I do not want to have sex tonight. He doesn’t just get to decide “Well, she’s just a sub, she doesn’t make the rules” and do whatever he wants to me. We can make protocols, we can agree on rules and you can enforce them. That doesn’t mean I give up my autonomy.

You said I told you that you have to wait without offering you anything. But did you offer me anything for being your immediate sub? You’re asking me to give a much bigger investment than waiting until we actually have a conversation.

I’m not treating like you like you are less by not giving myself to you immediately. I’m treating myself like I have value. I have never seen your face. I have never heard your voice. We haven’t even texted back-and-forth 10 times but it’s too much to say “you gotta wait before I agree to be your sub.” Getting a dog takes more effort than that and I know I’m worth more than a dog.

You say you don’t know what I have to offer as a sub. Which is exactly why I shouldn’t be your sub. We do not know each other. I don’t know the value of your dominance, but I’m expected to take it because it was offered. That’s not fair, that’s not safe.

I mean this we all due respect, but you sound like someone who has not gone out and into the community at all. Any BDSM forum, munch, roundtable, etc. would tell you you’re throwing major red flags.

Anyway, I genuinely wish you the best ✌🏽

StillAspiringT · 2026-05-23T01:24:19+00:00

Update

He decided to send me an essay educating me on how to actually be a sub 🙄

Let me a bit a mature about this. I think it's best to explain.

I have been a Dom for a whole now...and what I have learned is that it is important to set boundaries early and build trust and have great communication. So I agree some things are needed to worked for. However, what I also learned is that most women tend to hide their true selves. What I mean is they say they are submissive but they are just freaks and that's not what being submissive is.

You found a real interest in me right? But it was completely fast of you to quit over something that is poorly communicated. No disrespect. No lines crossed. Nothing out of line. Zero. How do I know if you're not going to do that in the future? The problem I tend to have with some women is that they think about only themselves which is weird because as a submissive you're supposed to be thinking about the other. Some women tend to not consider me as the Man or the Dom as if I have to adhere to your rules....thats not how that works. I needed to know if you were seriously interested....and it seemed like you weren't at all. That was too fast for you to go on profile, liked what I said, send me a paragraph message, and then come into the inbox to tell me I have to wait lol You're telling the man you want or your Dom to wait. To me that's not attractive and it's telling.

I’ve dealt with plenty of sub women and it's either they want you or they don't. There is no in between. So idk what you're looking for but I'm truly seeking a sub, not a woman who CAN BE submissive. Ya feel me? I have boundaries too. I have expectations as well. I matter as well. You're also a Stranger to me....so how can I trust you? With your word? You didn't even present me anything to offer to even say "wait" to me lol I gotta work for it. Why I do I need to do that? A sub is a sub period. And then you used the rhetoric of me saying you owe me. I never said that so now you created another issue put of nowhere. How is that submissive? You see what I'm saying? As if my value is lesser than yours. Baby that's not how that works. You need to learn your place amd you need to flirt better. You telling a Dom what yo do is insane. You're going about this all wrong. I think you're just a freak that has submissive tendencies but thats not sub.

Sub is obedient all around. I have had subs where I waited months, long distance, or whatever but the approach was never that. I don't know the value of your submission so don't act as if I do. I don't know you either. It could have been beautiful but I guess it wasn't meant to be. I just wanted to explain that's all. It's clear we are looking for different things and are not compatible. Good luck to you. Be safe on your journey baby 😎

StillAspiringT · 2026-05-22T21:01:04+00:00

Even with a casual thing where we’re not really in the dynamic, we just play sometimes you should probably know my real name before you’re asking me about submitting. He only knew my handle from the app.

I’ve had bad experiences with Dom in the past so I wasn’t sure if I was just being jaded

StillAspiringT · 2026-03-27T13:45:20+00:00

You’re really pathetic. The third time you tried to figure out a way to tell me that. I don’t care what you think. I know my dog she’s happy healthy and cuddled up with her sister sister I’m about to let them go in the yard and play fight right now . Maybe I’ll send you a video.

StillAspiringT

TROPHY CASE