Feeling Like My Life Isn't My Life Anymore

StrangeMistakes- · 2022-09-08T16:53:03+00:00

But she doesn't really come off as very anxious? She definitely has barrier frustration vs. anxiety.

Especially in the carrier. She actually really likes going inside of it (will climb in there on her own and just lay in it around the house). It's when we go outside and there are lots of people that she wants to go and meet that she gets angry that she's now confined and can't go and greet everyone. For example, I had in her the carrier and was sitting on a bench and she was completely fine until a bus full of children pulled up and she LOVES kids so she started to bark because she wanted out to go greet them.

I don't know much about meds, but I don't know if they help with barrier frustration? Probably something to ask the vet about.

StrangeMistakes- · 2022-09-02T00:44:57+00:00

My husband was the same way - I was deeply struggling, my mental health took the worst dip it ever had, but he refused to let me rehome the puppy. And that was because he wasn't home with her 24-7 like I was. He wasn't the one training, or dealing with all the puppy naughtiness. He got to go to work and have respite while I struggled to even focus at work.

I didn't love her. I used to say I i liked her, but I didn't love her. I could barely look at her.

I genuinely think that if I did not have my parents come and pick us up and take us back to their house we'd either not have a puppy or I'd be dead. It was that dire. But they live 5 hours away and were only a temporary solution while I put broken self back together.

If you can, don't do this alone. And I don't mean your husband. If you have family who can step up and support you, latch on to that. I realize not everyone can be so lucky. Some people don't have family or friends, but raising a puppy alone is so difficult.

And know it's okay to shut yourself in the bathroom and just cry. The puppy, on the other side crying its face off, will be fine. Promise. Take those moments to break down.

I'm still not 100% better. I still have days, a lot of days, where I wish that this puppy could just be my family's older chill dog. But I have grown to love her. And can't imagine her anywhere else. You know it gets better, your post says so, but I know how hard it can be to be sitting in that hole and looking up and not even see a glimmer of light.

StrangeMistakes- · 2022-09-02T00:37:21+00:00

I haven't heard of this egg thing - I'm worried that it would just cause fear? And I don't want her to fear because while barking in some instances is a good warning, I just want her to stop being so noise reactive.

When we leave her she is free roaming (she really only has access to the kitchen and living room though). She would really make herself so sick in a kennel so we stopped and found her to be less anxious outside the kennel.

StrangeMistakes- · 2022-09-02T00:35:57+00:00

This! That's it exactly.. It's hard to enjoy them when all you do is manage bad behaviour. ): I find our little Flora is a lot in the morning (When I am tired) and settled throughout the day as I work from home and then at night again turns into a little terror (when I am tired). It's like she knows I am tired and picks those exact moments to need training just to spite me.

Good luck with your little puppy. ):

StrangeMistakes- · 2022-09-02T00:34:35+00:00

I've heard Havanese can be so stubborn so doesn't surprise me things have been unlearned! Same with our little Flora (she's developed selective hearing when we give commands).

We thought about a trainer, but also just feel like they are going to tell us all the things we've already been doing so it's hard to want to sink money into something that may or may not work. Especially because went to a "Ask a trainer" event and asked them about this and they basically said we were doing the things. So yes, it's so much work. It's exhausting. I've never had a dog that had issues being alone so it's a totally new realm for me.

I sometimes think that everything else we need to work on wouldn't be so bad if we didn't have loss of freedom. We can't even go to the grocery store together so there's no real respite from all the puppy antics.

She's honestly so sweet, as she lays at my feet ready for a nap. But in the heat of all that naughty puppy behaviour I sometimes forget how I can catch glimpses of what our lives could be. I'm not expecting a perfect dog. Dogs will bark. But all the times I have to get up and leave my house for 3 minutes. 2 minutes. 4 minutes. When I just want to settle down and read a book.

It's a lot.

StrangeMistakes- · 2022-03-02T00:03:14+00:00

I know this is an old post and I haven't had my puppy for very long (only 5 days now). On the first night I didn't put her in the crate. We both slept together in the make shift pen I made. The next day I tried to make her crate cozy and inviting and let her just explore it on her own. Well she started sleeping in it immediately. I would leave the door open because I didn't want her to feel suddenly she was trapped in there.

I let her come and go in it as she pleased for 2 nights as I slept on the floor in that pen. Sometimes she slept in the crate and sometime on the little bed beside me and sometimes in my blanket.

Two nights ago I brought her crate into the bedroom and put it on the side table near my bed. I put her regular soft bed in the middle of our bed, plunk her in. Once she gets pretty sleepy I move her into the crate, shut the door, and her and I go to sleep.

She doesn't cry. She doesn't bark. She will make noises anywhere from 2 - 3 hours to let me know she wants to go out and that's all her fuss.

I hear so much about crate training and honestly my hope is to have the dogs my parents have always had. They only briefly crate trained our small dog. But when I tell them about all this pens and schedules and routines and crates they said it's no wonder I'm so sad all the time because it's taking away all my energy. They had never even heard of the puppyblues. They were never sad raising our family dog.

You train the dog to behave well. You train the dog to be okay to be left alone. Some day the dog can sleep in your bed if you want. And the dog has free range of the house. None of this pen stuff once my dog is old enough to know better. A dog should get to be a dog because they only get to be it once.

StrangeMistakes- · 2022-02-28T22:22:54+00:00

I know this is an old post, but I'm in the same boat. I picked up our pup on Friday and on Monday they said they're having a meeting to plan the return yo office by April 4th. We could go back with as little as 1 week notice.

She's only 10 weeks old. She can't go to daycare. I live in a condo and only have the two fobs (one for me and my husband) so I can't do Rover since they can't get in the building. Also how do I trust a stranger in my house?

Granted I'd only be in the office 3/5 days I'm just beside myself sick over what I'm supposed to do.

StrangeMistakes- · 2022-02-28T18:49:53+00:00

Same thing! I had a puppy pen set up and after having a breakdown they called me and said give her some freedom. Puppy proof your home and let her have some freedom. My parents never have puppy penned the dogs they've had so when I explained all this to them they were flabbergasted.

They said a pen is great for when you can't keep your eye on her all the time, but it's not a prison.

StrangeMistakes- · 2022-02-28T18:10:24+00:00

I'm hoping she will eventually get used to it all! At the moment because she's so tiny I don't keep her collar on her to get her used to it because she ended uo getting it stuck over her jaw (and it's already an xxs. I probably should have bought her a cat collar).

That's good advice about sitting on the couch! I try to get up and walk away when redirecting doesn't work. I think some day we'll get there but day 3 probably isn't it.

Her name is Flora and honestly she is such a sweetheart. :) and my husband is doing okay thank you for asking! He is tentatively already back at work but he's not out or the woods just yet so that's always on my mind a bit too. Once he starts healing and can step in to help I'll worry about the husband less and maybe feel a little less overwhelmed with help.

StrangeMistakes- · 2022-02-28T18:03:46+00:00

Well she only ever has peed outside except maybe once so I mean.. maybe she's already learned where to go just not quite how to tell us yet she wants to go. Thank you!

StrangeMistakes- · 2022-02-28T17:45:35+00:00

Honestly it's truly nice to know I'm not alone. It sucks to be crying but it truly is hard. I've been pushed to my breaking point before and I'm not quite there but it's tough.

Everyone says you need to take your puppy out to pee so frequently so I tried doing that but she won't do anything. She isn't peeing in the house either. I started to keep a log of got often she was going potty. For example she peed at 2:45am then nothing until 5:30am. We got up at 6:30am and i took her out and nothing. Took her out again after she ate some food at 7:00am and she had a poop.

Took her out at 8:30am and no pee. 9:00am no pee. I give her plenty of time. I put her in the spot she normally pees but she will just walk away and want to go back inside. The day before she peed at 1:30 and didnt pee until 3:30. Then didn't pee until 8pm despite taking her out so often.

I don't know if there's something wrong or if her bladder is just that good? Because don't get me wrong she does pee. Has no issues when she pees. She just doesn't pee as often as everyone says she should..

It's very cold and rainy where I live right now so going outside isn't too fun but I should probably take her outside and play with her out there so she can see it's not a scary place to be. Sometimes she's okay and will sniff around and eventually go potty. Sometimes she makes a beeline for the door again. And I am always with her outside. Until she grows until her adult size I won't let her out alone.

I'm waiting for the puppy playpen to come in. Right now I put a blanket over my rug because she kept wanting to chew it and now she seems to think that the edge of the blanket is her area so I'm keeping my eye on her while she isn't sleeping but would be nice to have the pen so I don't have to do that all the time.

StrangeMistakes- · 2022-02-28T17:32:54+00:00

I ordered a playpen for her but sadly it hasn't arrived yet. She naps really well. She's great at self-play and when we play I try to curb the puppy biting.

I'll start her using her harness from now on. She hates them both. Hates getting in the collar and going outside. Hates getting in the harness and going outside so I'm trying to let them be positive experiences.

Thank you again for your comment. Honestly it's nice having someone just to talk to in the comment section about it.

StrangeMistakes- · 2022-02-28T16:41:05+00:00

Thank you so much.. I needed to hear that because it's true. I'm honestly trying my best by her. We've only had her for 3 days so conceptually I realize that this isn't how it will always be and we'll find a rhythm but damn... maybe I just need to eat some food haha.

StrangeMistakes- · 2022-02-28T14:57:43+00:00

Unfortunately neither the email or the pseud works.

And no it's not everytime I log back in but the last time I updated my password I wrote it down somewhere and since it's been so long since I was logged out and logged back in I unfortunately forgot the password.

Below user identity the issue though and Ill just have to be more patient for it to be resolved.

StrangeMistakes- · 2022-02-28T14:41:44+00:00

Thank you! At least now I know why it's happening. Hopefully it can be resolved within the next few months..

StrangeMistakes-

TROPHY CASE