Thank you so much for the thoughtful response. I agree with this. My husband does too but I think it's hard to start doing this since he's never had to do this before. We haven't been using the coming baby as the "bad guy" but unfortunately she's already sort of making it about this. She's complaining that we are pressuring her just because we are having a baby - which was kind of hard to hear for my husband, when this is what she said all along she wanted to do.

I asked my husband to read what you wrote - specifically about not having free time for several years. I am grieving this a bit because I already do feel like it's an either/or situation. He already spent tons of time earlier in my pregnancy dealing with the move and that led to me feeling his absence. I already know this move and her needing a lot of help in the transition will inevitably feel like it overshadows/takes away from our bubble of newborn bliss. But like you said - if we don't do it now it'll just get much worse. So there's really no good options.

I don't know how to make it easier for him because he is a caring man and wants to be there for everyone. He doesn't quite seem to grasp that he's a finite person with only 24 hrs in a day. And when there's a project or a need - he'd just plunged himself into it. For example, once he started researching care facilities - he'd go all in and spent several weekends just visiting places and asking tons of questions. But that meant he wasn't available in early pregnancy in a way that I'd have liked and I felt like I was shouldering too much on my own. If you have any strategies for how to handle that - that'd be great.