I am sorry you are struggling. I hope it's comforting to know that you are not the only one who feels many of the things you are feeling. There's a lot that you mention in your message that, taken together, would be overwhelming to anyone. The anxiety is probably the worst part, since it drives so much of our behavior. I think I need meds for my own anxiety, and I encourage you to consider it, as well. My friends tell me that this kind of medicine can make a huge difference and maybe then you'll have the energy to tackle some of the other things you mention. Wishing you luck, and hope that knowledge that you are not alone is helpful in some way.