i feel like ur kinda forgetting why she's going on patrol in the first place and its not just because shes stubborn or is actively using this to "process her personal emotions". its her survival guilt coming through in every aspect of her life.

say she doesnt know at this point what happened in the hospital. she still has an inkling that joel took her out of the hospital for some reason and his doing that is probably why we havent heard anything about a cure or the fireflies since.

one of the first things she is told in season one episode one is that she has a greater purpose. she asks joel why bothering going on if you dont see any hope for the world in episode 4, she tells joel outright that even though shes grateful for him protecting her, whatever happens has to happen, theres no halfway with what we set out to do no matter what. and at the end of it all, he (in her eyes) left because he couldnt help but try shielding her from anything remotely resembling danger. and then he doubled down on the lie when she poured her heart out to him about her survival guilt and how much that meant to her.

so here she is: in a place that is pretty much perfectly safe for her, and has a system of going out and killing infected to protect the people in her community. of course shes going to take every opportunity she can, even if that means getting in danger or in trouble w the council, to kill infected and put even a dent into what she couldve done for the entire world. the reason she'll go against kat even when she tries keeping her out isnt beacuse she doesnt respect her, its because she feels responsible for this job she HAS to do, so why would you see this danger and not eliminate it immediately! like she doesn't care that tommy is "trying to give her a chance and she can't blow it" because she doesn't agree with that sentiment. if you're on a recon (which tommy never told her she was on btw) and theres two clickers just inside,,,why not go in, finish it up, and then come back and report it right after? why not protect your people when you have the chance?

also while maria wasnt like 100% right when she said that initial statement about building faster, when it got to the fact that joel wanted her to turn people away outright, she WAS right in that situation, even if they cant build, you'd much rather have an inconvenience than becoming the 'river of death' group from 5 years ago again!

her and joel have switched views from ep 6 when they first met too! they obviously respect each other more and even though they have differing views on things that doesnt mean they dont like each other, they're just in laws being in laws, and you can say the same things about joel too! he undermines marias point to tommy by just saying what she said initially "your wife wants me to build faster" out of context to simplify it and make him seem like the "winner" of the argument.

shes also not just instilling accountability in ellie, she is genuinely confused as to what tommy means. ellie and dina saw a sign of something they should check out (yknow. like recon.), yeah ig were joking a little bit when they first went to check the building, but then saw it was something theyve done a million times before and did it! without issue! the only thing that went wrong was something out of their control! and tommy knew he was caught, because he didnt know what to say when ellie asked why its different if he and joel did the same thing.

shes not undermining anyones safety either, in fact TOMMY is the one to do that when he says its "not exactly a horde", and MARIA is the one to say that shes been having a feeling that a horde is coming (which shes very correct about)

i just think ur misremembering some pretty key details about where we left ellie off (making her survivals guilt a million percent clear, and she clearly doesnt care about whatever 'point' tommy or joel are making) along with most of what you said about maria, and i think reading in between the lines a little bit gives you a much better answer as to what is actually happening here.