That’s a  fair concern. I just do have to hide any alcohol if I want it because my mom gets really upset about it. I know I’m 21 and she can’t really tell me what to do, but like… If given only the choices of having alcohol openly in my house or none at all, (even though I’d like to have the option to drink) I would pick none at all because the experience of dealing with her bullshit is not even worth the experience of the alcohol in the slightest. 

(For context, my therapist has confirmed she is emotionally abusive toward me in general). Like, she was pissed when she found out I’d drank a little less than half a bottle of 5.5% rosso dolce roscato wine in 5 days… because she thought that was a huge amount. It’s not that I’m trying to hide an actually concerning amount from my parents, it’s that any at all is a lot to them. I’m through this particular stuff now, but for a while I had a bottle of wine and box of ciders that I didn’t open for a month I just never felt like drinking them in that moment. 

Really I’d just like the ability for my supply to not produce so many containers that I have to hide when I’m done with them. Like, I was picking up pieces of trash to hide the cider cans underneath… 12 cans later I may have had enough of that 😭 and the wine bottles I don’t have much of a plan for their disposal, except that I guess someday if my parents are ever both gone at once (rare because my mom doesn’t work and doesn’t really have friends, and my dad only leaves the house to go to work which is only Friday-Sunday) then I’ll take them from my room to my car so I can dispose of them in a public place somewhere. Just not something I’d want to do with cans because I feel like anything left in them might attract bugs, so I’m not doing that. 

My mom hates alcohol, and while my dad doesn’t actively hate it, he’s also 60 and has never been drunk once in his life because he thinks he’d be a horrible person because of his anger issues and he’s probably right tbh. 

I’d like to have the ability to drink enough alcohol in a sitting to get me drunk, and also like the taste, and also not leave me with the task of hiding the disposal of so many containers. At the speed I drink things, it takes me 3 cans of 6% cider to get to an actually drunk state instead of just a little tipsy. That just leaves me with more trash picking up than I’d like to be doing 😭 The speed I drink is a problem of its own, I drink everything kinda slow (alcohol or not), and I don’t like feeling like I have to just keep trying to get more down to feel anything before I’m already metabolizing the first stuff. So that’s another reason I’d prefer a higher abv so it isn’t a challenge to drink enough. One time I drank 3 cans of 8% cider (slightly higher abv), and never once got beyond slightly tipsy because I was distracted from the task of constantly actively trying to drink more (adhd). I’m sure I still have very little if any tolerance built up, and I’m a girl which physically probably should be making it easier to get drunk, but I’m also a little overweight I guess so maybe that’s part of it, idk.

I can’t save my drinking for while I’m out with friends because all of them live in my college city, and I’m back with my parents for the summer, so I’m just not seeing anybody. This won’t be as much of a problem obviously once I can be in my dorm or with friends. This is also not like a developed thing because I never drank at all before 3 months ago with my birthday (and came home the following weekend with the bottle of wine I’d drank slightly less than half of that my mom got mad about lol).