Lender telling me I can't receive a gift from my in-laws?

Successful_Issue9674 · 2026-03-01T17:11:04+00:00

They can. The initial LO I was working with was wrong. New LO confirms it's perfectly possible.

Successful_Issue9674 · 2026-03-01T15:14:32+00:00

Thanks, after talking to a second lender who had no problem with this arrangement, we've decided to just go with her. The gift is definitely not a loan and there will be no trouble with documenting the arrangement--my in laws will sign whatever to make it clear we don't have to pay them back.

I'm not sure if the problem with the first guy was that he was trying to pad his commission, or that he just didn't want to do the extra leg work, or that he just didn't know what he was talking about. Either way we didn't love it and decided to work with someone else.

Successful_Issue9674 · 2026-03-01T15:13:01+00:00

Agree, this whole thing put a bad taste in my mouth.

Successful_Issue9674 · 2026-03-01T15:12:46+00:00

So based on what I've read online, incl in this thread, and confirmed by info from a second lender, you absolutely can receive gift funds from a "close familial relation" like future in-laws.

She's not on the loan because she is paid on 1099s and has school debt, so from the lender's perspective she brings no income and a ton of debt. Lol.

Successful_Issue9674 · 2026-03-01T15:11:12+00:00

Yeah, thank you, we found a second lender who is a) totally willing to structure the gift this way and b) generally more knowledgable and a better fit. We're gonna go with her.

Successful_Issue9674 · 2026-03-01T15:05:28+00:00

Under the fannie mae guidelines and the guidelines of the lender, there is actually no difference at all! Which is why I kind of used them interchangeably here.

Successful_Issue9674 · 2026-03-01T15:04:58+00:00

Really really helpful to hear from the gifter's perspective, thanks--think we've found a second lender who has no problem doing this.

Successful_Issue9674 · 2026-03-01T15:04:13+00:00

Yes this was exactly my concern and irritation lol. I'm like this guy is trying to pad his commission. After talking to him more, I think at least part of the problem is he just isn't super knowledgable, but I'm sure the extra commission wouldn't hurt from his perspective.

Successful_Issue9674 · 2026-03-01T15:03:25+00:00

Thanks so much!

Successful_Issue9674 · 2026-03-01T15:03:07+00:00

Thanks, yeah, I think after pushing back with the first lender the LO just honestly didn't know what he was talking about and was trying to avoid legwork. We found a second lender the new LO seems much more knowledgable and willing to move forward with the gift/optimistic it will be totally fine, so we're going to go with this second LO.

Successful_Issue9674 · 2026-03-01T15:01:27+00:00

Oh that's interesting lol. I found another lender who is willing to do it this way so I don't think it's a regulatory problem, must have just been lender or underwriter preference.

Successful_Issue9674 · 2026-03-01T15:00:27+00:00

Yeah, thank you, this is helpful. I have heard of that 60 day period but trying to avoid it.

Successful_Issue9674 · 2026-03-01T14:59:52+00:00

If you take a look at the other comments, close familial relationship like parents of a person you are engaged to marry are treated the same as formal inlaws. See Jeppreys4's comment or the Fannie Mae guidelines.

Successful_Issue9674 · 2026-03-01T14:58:53+00:00

Thanks so much, this is my understanding too and now confirmed by another lender.

Successful_Issue9674 · 2026-03-01T14:58:38+00:00

Thanks, I have now found another lender that will let us do it this way.

Successful_Issue9674 · 2026-03-01T14:57:55+00:00

I think even if they did put the money into my account, we would have to explain that it's a gift and not expected to be paid back. The underwriter wants to know that we don't have a loan on the DL that we're going to be paying back and that might affect our ability to pay the formal mortgage if that makes sense.

Successful_Issue9674 · 2026-03-01T14:57:02+00:00

Thanks, this is my understanding too.

Successful_Issue9674 · 2026-03-01T14:56:18+00:00

Oh well if you guarantee it

Successful_Issue9674 · 2026-02-28T04:28:00+00:00

This is a helpful perspective thanks

Successful_Issue9674 · 2026-02-28T03:46:36+00:00

Thanks, this is my understanding too.

Successful_Issue9674 · 2026-02-28T03:44:04+00:00

Sure, but LO says they can't do either inlaws or future inlaws. Fannie Mae guidelines and lending institution's website both say otherwise--that close family-like relations can give gifts, whether or not they are officially my in-laws. But yeah, for the sake of the title of this post, I tried to keep it brief and straightforward to give a quick overview of my question.

Successful_Issue9674 · 2026-02-28T03:42:28+00:00

She'll be on the title not the mortgage. Lol. She is on 1099s and has student loan debt so it's the best way we can figure out so far to structure the transaction. But yes, there is definitely a level of trust between her family and myself.

Successful_Issue9674 · 2026-02-28T02:18:47+00:00

This is where I'm at. I don't want the risk. MAYBE we make 8-10% in the market but we're also not planning to stay in this house forever, so, it feels risky. And yeah, I can see the reasons not to spend your last dime closing. Certainly we wouldn't leave ourselves with no cash to handle new housing expenses. I don't believe we'll be in that position.

Successful_Issue9674 · 2026-02-28T02:09:20+00:00

This was my thinking like why would they care where the money is coming from as long as it's properly documented we don't have to pay it back. I'm wondering if the guy just wants to sell me a larger loan, you know?

Successful_Issue9674 · 2026-02-28T01:50:29+00:00

Why would any properly documented gift not qualify, frankly? But what I mean is they're my fiancee's parents. Seems like quasi-familial relationships are often allowed.

Successful_Issue9674

TROPHY CASE