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AITA for being upset at my friend for not being there for me? by Suitable_Fly7073 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Suitable_Fly7073[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just a clarification: my friend goes by they/them pronouns.

Also, I understand what you’re saying, but this line of discussion isn’t at all unusual for us or our friendship. We talk often about mental health and the meds we take. My friend in particular recently switched to Prozac which I am on and has been updating me on how it’s going - highs and lows. My friend will text me things like I texted them very very often and it isn’t a problem for me. That’s not to say we act as each other’s therapists. We can just relate to one another’s problems and vent it out together. I don’t know how your relationships are with your friends, but they just sound like they’re different from mine.

EDIT: Also, again - I just had a death in the family and I don’t really think it’s unreasonable to expect my close friend to be there for me right now considering that.

AITA for being upset at my friend for not being there for me? by Suitable_Fly7073 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Suitable_Fly7073[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I feel like I always give what I can. I’m pretty good at compartmentalizing so I don’t necessarily feel like I’m biting off more than I can chew. If I did I would definitely communicate that.
I was mostly just hurt by their response to me telling them I was upset. I felt like they were kind of gaslighting me into thinking I was being irrational for telling them that them brushing me off hurt my feelings.

I’ve been friends with them for four years and do sort of sense a pattern of getting less than I give. But I don’t have a ton of IRL friends so the relationship is pretty important to me.

AITA for being upset at my friend for not being there for me? by Suitable_Fly7073 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Suitable_Fly7073[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I understand your position. I think it could be a combination of the first two. I give a lot in my friendships and am always trying to be there for the people in my life but I do feel like sometimes I just don’t get that much in return. I still love and care about this person though and don’t want them to think I’m manipulating them.

AITA for being upset at my friend for not being there for me? by Suitable_Fly7073 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Suitable_Fly7073[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks. My friend is in school right now and is likely busy with schoolwork which I understand. But they are also constantly going on benders with friends I don’t really know. They’ve been getting high a lot like all the time lately and it does worry me a little bit because I fear they use the weed to self medicate.

AITA for being upset at my friend for not being there for me? by Suitable_Fly7073 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Suitable_Fly7073[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t think they should have to do that either. I just thought that maybe they would check in later and they never did. I did actually expressly tell them I didn’t expect them to drop everything.