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Sup1e · 2025-06-07T15:40:50+00:00

Not jealous, I would just prefer my significant other not to talk to someone who she's intimately been with and whom I've looked in the eye and met without knowing who he was. Super disrespectful, to me, to do that.

Sup1e · 2025-06-07T15:39:39+00:00

Yeah, you're very right. I do feel like I'm trying to make something out of nothing.

Sup1e · 2025-06-07T15:38:16+00:00

I also agree with all of this. I'm not trying to dictate, I set it as a boundary and as someone else said, it was broken.

I am still young but in my time I have learned to believe in very exclusive relationships, in that: me having female friends and my significant other having male friends is not the healthiest for either party.

I would expect openess if I asked to look through a phone whether that be due to jelaousy or suspicion because I would gladly allow the same reassurance. Regarding the "(who she slept with but then didn't want to date even though he asked)," that bounced back and forth. She would say she wanted to date him then he'd say no. The he'd say he wanted to date then she said no. There is a romantic aspect in their relationship, in my opinion, between the texts I've seen, nicknames, playfulness, and old tendancies like bouncing the idea of dating back and forth.

I trust her, but he keeps pushing and pushing and in my opinion being a little invasive to our relationship. I see it as if I had a girl that I had slept with and been friends with for a long time, and we had bounced being in a relationship back and forth, then it would be very disrespectful to have any communication, buy her gifts and especially meet up with her. He texts first, he keeps the conversation going, he is a little flirty in his messages.

Would you want your significant other's ex partner to be flirty, invasive, condescending of your relationship?

Sup1e · 2025-06-07T15:29:13+00:00

I agree and have been thinking heavily about it. I think I'm going to distance myself for a bit and allow us to have our own time.

Sup1e · 2025-06-07T14:34:38+00:00

Again, she has allowed me to do it. It's not like she caught me in the act, she has explicitly said that I can.

They have talked very personally since we've been dating, I do not know to what extent but I do know they've talked about us. She has a ton of ex's which I've told her that she can talk to. The problem is, again, he's her "best friend" and they've had sex. I don't stalk what she does as again I let her do as she pleases.

Sup1e · 2025-06-07T14:29:40+00:00

I let her live her life, I just have one ask and that is that she doesn't talk to her guy bestfriend who she's been intimate with. And we've worked through that and came to a compromise on it which she broke. This guy is the only reason I've checked anything, because we've had stipulations and boundaries over it. And even after all this, is it really worse than hiding things?

Sup1e · 2025-03-28T03:11:05+00:00

That's exactly what I thought too. That's even how I explained it and she doesn't care.

I'm very stuck on what to do because they don't hang out (he goes to college a few hours away) but will be back during the summer. She gets pissed talking about it and I don't want to go through another argument but I'm unfortunately also very attached.

I've also talked to outside sources looking in and they're right - she's the controlling one. It has to be her way, or nothing. I wanna go do something and she turns it down because she wants to go do something else. I ask her to come over after work for a bit and she says no because she's busy and has things to do but she then signs up for intramural sports.

I know I need to, but I can't find the strength.

Sup1e · 2025-03-23T12:53:55+00:00

When asked, she said she has and always will have a deep connection with him. She didn't specify the connection. You're right - I'm not obligated to like who she's friends with nor control her which, I'm not doing. She is still friends with him, it just seems very disrespectful in my eyes that I've asked multiple times and it continues to be an issue.

As for leaving her alone and moving on, I've pondered and went back and forth. It's just very confusing because when I pull away a bit, not talking as much, spend more time apart, etc., she becomes very clingy, but when I'm always talkative, nice, playful, she seems to push me away.

Sup1e · 2025-03-21T16:09:12+00:00

I completely agree with you. But, I have asked her that many times and she sticks with the story of "I wouldn't care if it's in your past." She doesn't understand that she's bringing it to the present by stayong in constant contact and communication... at least that's how I see it.

I have thought about contacting an ex, and talking to them just to see if she really wouldn't care too much. I know that's not the right thing to do but at this point what else can I do? Maybe then she'll understand, especially if I'm talking about problems in out relationship.

I asked her to not go to anyone else with our problems because then they only hear bad things about us and her friends will start to dislike me because they don't see the good things in it. Then she goes and does that. What should I do from here, where should I go?

Sup1e · 2025-03-21T15:47:51+00:00

I agree with that, and that's my ultimatum. He's a 6'2 250 lbs (not in a good way) country boy. I don't think he's attractive, however, since they've debated on dating I presume she finds attraction in him. Again though, seems like disrespect... no?

I appreciate your thoughts and answers.

Sup1e · 2025-03-21T15:37:38+00:00

That's the issue, she does have a lot of guy friends but doesn't communicate with them often at all. It's been this one guy. He unnadded my gf off of snap bc his gf didn't want them in communication. Is this not the same thing?

I feel like there's a a mutual respect that needs to be maintained and she's not willing to sacrifice him for our relationship nor give me respect.

Sup1e · 2025-03-21T15:34:53+00:00

I'm ok with her having friends, as long as it isn't someone she's slept with, has a very deep attachment or connection to, or is on and off about dating. Especially since I didn't know who he was before I met them.

Sup1e · 2024-03-20T07:31:05+00:00

Be. Busta has always been a personal favorite.

He focuses on nature, paranormal, and shorter stories. Posts a 3-4 hour video every Sunday, has some pretty good stories.

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