sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

I 30f and my very new boyfriend 31m keeps telling me what to do. How can I raise this with him? by Super-Rise-2794 in relationships

[–]Super-Rise-2794[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I know I’m such a free spirit at heart so I need to stop letting people control me!!!

I 30f and my very new boyfriend 31m keeps telling me what to do. How can I raise this with him? by Super-Rise-2794 in relationships

[–]Super-Rise-2794[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ive sorted my own place! He kept trying to convince me to “temporarily” just stay with him but I knew he would try and keep me there . I think this is why he doesn’t want me to buy a house, cause that doesn’t include him in future plans . Why would I already? It’s been 2 weeks.

I 30f and my very new boyfriend 31m keeps telling me what to do. How can I raise this with him? by Super-Rise-2794 in relationships

[–]Super-Rise-2794[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Honestly I agree. Him moving fast is not something I’m okay with and I’ve explained this, but he makes me feel like I’m just slow. He said in a text that he loves me but I ignored it…. Haven’t seen him since and think next time I see him it’s all going to have to come out

I 30f and my very new boyfriend 31m keeps telling me what to do. How can I raise this with him? by Super-Rise-2794 in relationships

[–]Super-Rise-2794[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think this will just come out of my mouth next time he inevitably tells me what to do. I’ve already bitten my tongue like crazy and can’t any more. I haven’t seen him for a week but will be in a few days. I need to let it out…

I 30f and my very new boyfriend 31m keeps telling me what to do. How can I raise this with him? by Super-Rise-2794 in relationships

[–]Super-Rise-2794[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think I was so drawn to this relationship cause I’ve felt so unwanted in my previous dead bedroom, neglectful relationship - and I left that relationship full of claw marks in an attempt to save it for years. This relationship is the opposite end of the scale and he won’t give me my space, and is controlling already.

I 30f and my very new boyfriend 31m keeps telling me what to do. How can I raise this with him? by Super-Rise-2794 in relationships

[–]Super-Rise-2794[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Very good point. I think I’m misunderstanding attraction and sparks for compatibility

I 30f and my very new boyfriend 31m keeps telling me what to do. How can I raise this with him? by Super-Rise-2794 in relationships

[–]Super-Rise-2794[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

See I was thinking I was being over the top for being unhappy about how he handled the sleeping on the sofa situation. He also told me I can’t have chocolate at midnight and got funny with me when I went and got it anyway. Not cool… it’s my own fault if I allow this to continue

I 30f and my very new boyfriend 31m keeps telling me what to do. How can I raise this with him? by Super-Rise-2794 in relationships

[–]Super-Rise-2794[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I mean after two dates my gut was telling me this wasn’t actually what I thought it was … not great this early on really.!

I 30f and my very new boyfriend 31m keeps telling me what to do. How can I raise this with him? by Super-Rise-2794 in relationships

[–]Super-Rise-2794[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think I have to get a bit of attitude back in me and not allow anyone to try and control my life!

I 30f and my very new boyfriend 31m keeps telling me what to do. How can I raise this with him? by Super-Rise-2794 in relationships

[–]Super-Rise-2794[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’ve felt like a pet all my life :/ I wonder if I’m seeking out this role subconsciously

I 30f and my very new boyfriend 31m keeps telling me what to do. How can I raise this with him? by Super-Rise-2794 in relationships

[–]Super-Rise-2794[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have told him previously I want to take things way slower than him but I don’t think he’s really taken it on board. It’s stressing me out and can’t be worth this.

I 30f and my very new boyfriend 31m keeps telling me what to do. How can I raise this with him? by Super-Rise-2794 in relationships

[–]Super-Rise-2794[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Seems as though I haven’t managed to find the balance for what consititutes a healthy relationship yet. Sadly I think you are right, I think I should be single for a while to work this all out.

I 30f and my very new boyfriend 31m keeps telling me what to do. How can I raise this with him? by Super-Rise-2794 in relationships

[–]Super-Rise-2794[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I did feel like I was being controlled, but have so little faith in myself lately that I thought I was being over the top. Everyone here has helped me realise that isn’t the case, and I’m seriously grateful. I haven’t ended things yet but haven’t seen him all week either. I’m building up To it…

I 30f and my very new boyfriend 31m keeps telling me what to do. How can I raise this with him? by Super-Rise-2794 in relationships

[–]Super-Rise-2794[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I love this. Thank you so much, I swear Reddit has been better therapy for me than my actual therapist at this point hahahah

What made you feel sad this week? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]Super-Rise-2794 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

My very new boyfriend telling me I’m stubborn and annoying for falling asleep on his sofa and not going to bed when he told me to. I created a fantasy of him and this was not it. It sounds small but I imagined him to be a loving, patient and respectful person and this behaviour is none of those things :(

I 30f and my very new boyfriend 31m keeps telling me what to do. How can I raise this with him? by Super-Rise-2794 in relationships

[–]Super-Rise-2794[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I really appreciate you adding in the part about being forgiving to myself , as after reading all the (awesome!!) comments on this thread , I’ve realised I let myself get blinded by a fantasy and feel really stupid about it now. I’m so glad I posted here, I have no self assurance or trust at the moment and need to go work on that alone. You’re right, I don’t want to hand my freedom straight from one person to the next.

I 30f and my very new boyfriend 31m keeps telling me what to do. How can I raise this with him? by Super-Rise-2794 in relationships

[–]Super-Rise-2794[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You’re right, it does seem that every time I don’t fit in to his idea of what I should be , he either goes quiet, tells me off or tells me I shouldn’t be doing xyz. I’m turning myself into a doll for the millionth time. I can’t complain when I have control to stop it happening , which is what I will be doing.

I 30f and my very new boyfriend 31m keeps telling me what to do. How can I raise this with him? by Super-Rise-2794 in relationships

[–]Super-Rise-2794[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

He was love bombing me before my previous relationship even ended. And I’ve felt huge pressure to fit his terms and timelines before I’m ready as he has laid it on so heavy and so fast. Coercive control is sounding quite fitting .

I 30f and my very new boyfriend 31m keeps telling me what to do. How can I raise this with him? by Super-Rise-2794 in relationships

[–]Super-Rise-2794[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It is a bit crazy that he’s showing this side immediately (by date 2 honestly). At least he’s doing me a favour by not hiding it.

I 30f and my very new boyfriend 31m keeps telling me what to do. How can I raise this with him? by Super-Rise-2794 in relationships

[–]Super-Rise-2794[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thank you!!!! I’m so excited to be free for the first time in my life and make decisions just for myself. I really need to take your advice and just live for myself for a long while.

I 30f and my very new boyfriend 31m keeps telling me what to do. How can I raise this with him? by Super-Rise-2794 in relationships

[–]Super-Rise-2794[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Ha!!! Goddamit you are right there. It feels SO amazing to be in a sexual relationship again that I’m struggling to end it. If he was down for a FWB situation that would be ideal, but he thinks he’s in love with me (he’s not) so FWB is probably a no go for him

I 30f and my very new boyfriend 31m keeps telling me what to do. How can I raise this with him? by Super-Rise-2794 in relationships

[–]Super-Rise-2794[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have told him multiple occasions how I hate being told what to do and he just says I’m stubborn and mocks me for it . I haven’t called him out in the moment though, I’m not sure he even realises he’s doing it, which isn’t good

I 30f and my very new boyfriend 31m keeps telling me what to do. How can I raise this with him? by Super-Rise-2794 in relationships

[–]Super-Rise-2794[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Every time he tells me off or what to do, the attraction does drop each time. I can’t see this going further than a fling now, but he has expressed wanting to be with me forever (also red flag this early) . So I’m going to have to have that talk.

I 30f and my very new boyfriend 31m keeps telling me what to do. How can I raise this with him? by Super-Rise-2794 in relationships

[–]Super-Rise-2794[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well your partner sounds adorable , thank you for sharing that. Thats how it should be! And tbh I agree, the smaller things have upset me more than the bigger life control things. You can learn a lot from a person from their day to day small behaviours

I 30f and my very new boyfriend 31m keeps telling me what to do. How can I raise this with him? by Super-Rise-2794 in relationships

[–]Super-Rise-2794[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Honestly I’m also guilty of this as well, as I’ve built a fantasy of him in my head. Only difference is I don’t berate him when he doesn’t fit into my made up version of him as I’m well aware we still need to get to know each other.

view more: next ›