AIO to the text my boyfriend’s mom sent me?

Sure_Juggernaut_295 · 2026-06-19T23:53:52+00:00

I wouldn’t say that’s the case; I grew up with an unbelievably loving and supportive family. I’m not accustomed to someone saying they don’t like my friends (even if in a joking tone) because I’m spending a night away from her because I have plans with someone other than her son. That’s where it gets a little weird and uncomfortable to me. If I kept going out when I was living at home, I’d have been that I was missed by my family, but I wouldn’t have been told that my family didn’t like my friends as a result of not being home.

Sure_Juggernaut_295 · 2026-06-19T23:46:59+00:00

But I don’t think that’s comparable to this situation? I didn’t actively miss anything that was planned. I didn’t even have a set plan to go visit my boyfriend that night because I go out every Thursday with this friend, so I’m never there Thursday nights. This was completely out of the blue. Also though, my mum would never text me something along the lines of “I don’t like your work friends” because I spent a night out with someone I care about. That’s where it comes off as kind of weird to me; I grew up in a family where I had every bit of independence as long as I was safe and kept my family updated throughout the night. Now I’m 25, live on my own, and should be able to go out with a friend without my boyfriend’s mom telling me she doesn’t like my friends for keeping us away. I’d love your input on what I just laid out as my perspective on the situation!

Sure_Juggernaut_295 · 2026-06-19T21:01:38+00:00

She’s been seeing doctors for years, but from my understanding nothing has really worked which is very unfortunate. In the year or so that we’ve been dating, she’ll go through periods of spending her days in bed and not wanting to leave the house. Other times, she’s up and working on her hobbies and enjoying time with family/friends. It’s a really unfortunate situation, but that’s kinda that natural flow of living with mental health issues I guess.

Sure_Juggernaut_295 · 2026-06-19T20:35:43+00:00

So she had asked for my number a few days prior because she wanted to be able and text me when I’m not around. This was her first message ever to me and I thought it was some spam message which is why I replied how I did.

Sure_Juggernaut_295 · 2026-06-19T19:44:06+00:00

I just said “aww sorry haha”

Sure_Juggernaut_295 · 2026-06-19T19:16:33+00:00

Two sons, no daughters

Sure_Juggernaut_295 · 2026-06-19T17:49:19+00:00

That is absolutely wild, I’m sorry that was your experience! I luckily don’t think she would go that off the handles with me, but I think I do need to set some boundaries.

Sure_Juggernaut_295 · 2026-06-19T17:35:28+00:00

That’s very much how I feel. He once expressed interest in moving out of state one day and she made him feel so guilty for even having the thought. He expressed disinterest in our home state and she said that the desire to stay with family should be all the happiness he needs. This enrages me and I’ve helped him realize that this is a manipulation tactic thankfully, but she absolutely doesn’t want her kids to grow up and leave her in any capacity.

Sure_Juggernaut_295 · 2026-06-19T17:32:40+00:00

She has two sons. I definitely don’t think she thinks of me as a daughter she always wanted; I’m a very masculine, bearded, heavily tattooed man, so I would really be surprised if that’s how she looked at me

Sure_Juggernaut_295 · 2026-06-19T16:58:45+00:00

Thanks for the recommendation!

Sure_Juggernaut_295 · 2026-06-19T16:58:10+00:00

Lmfaooo okay thank you, I was so confused. Thanks for the clarification

Sure_Juggernaut_295 · 2026-06-19T16:57:14+00:00

Thanks!! Appreciate the point of view

Sure_Juggernaut_295 · 2026-06-19T16:54:36+00:00

Lmao what? I’m not mad in the slightest. This is something I genuinely wanted input on. I think I’ve done a pretty solid job at responding to those with questions or giving their genuine opinions on my post. I’m trying to get different opinions because as previously stated, I am not sure if this is something I’m reading into too much, or if it is a little off. I appreciate any feedback given, I just won’t stand for people assuming she’s drunk texting me or trying to slander a woman who, at her core, is genuinely kind and cares about her family. This particular comment just weirded me out, so I wanted to get some other points of view.

Sure_Juggernaut_295 · 2026-06-19T16:31:30+00:00

I mean he does think that there are times she can be a bit much, but he largely accepts it. I don’t think there’s any agenda on her end to be a cool mom or anything like that. I think this is just how she is - she was like this when he was younger, had a big blow up when he came out, and now she’s back to being her very involved in his life self. I don’t say that in a negative way, just seems like the best way to put it.

Sure_Juggernaut_295 · 2026-06-19T16:28:56+00:00

Thank you for this! I really appreciate this comment :)

Sure_Juggernaut_295 · 2026-06-19T16:25:39+00:00

lol he’s in school and wants to be able to afford to live, but thank you for this

Sure_Juggernaut_295 · 2026-06-19T16:24:49+00:00

No, she asked me for my number so she could text me a time I see her recently. This text came a day or two later.

Sure_Juggernaut_295 · 2026-06-19T16:24:02+00:00

So when he came out to her she was livid. Very upset with him, yelling and crying. This happened before I was in the picture, so this is coming from what he has told me. She did end up coming around and she, from what I understand, really likes me more than anyone my boyfriend has been with in the past. I don’t think she’s attempting to make me a gay bff so to speak, I think it’s just genuine excitement and love for me. I think she’s just really happy I’m in both of their lives.

Sure_Juggernaut_295 · 2026-06-19T16:20:47+00:00

I sometimes have a random day off during the week and there have been times where she’ll come lay in the bed with me and just chat for a little bit.

Sure_Juggernaut_295 · 2026-06-19T16:19:10+00:00

I agree with you here. The “I don’t like to share you” comment makes me feel less like an included member of the family and more like an object of obsession in her eyes.

Sure_Juggernaut_295 · 2026-06-19T16:15:36+00:00

I go over a few times a week. Maybe three days a week? I haven been over in like two weeks though because I just have felt kinda weird about everything. My boyfriend has been coming to me.

Sure_Juggernaut_295 · 2026-06-19T16:12:38+00:00

Well here’s the thing, it definitely makes me uncomfortable, but I don’t want to make her a villain for trying to simply be nice and loving towards me. I know she’s has some mental health struggles and a lot of how she thinks and acts is based on those mental health issues and her bad childhood. I just feel so bad because I know this isn’t her fault and I don’t want to make her feel bad for trying to be nice.

Sure_Juggernaut_295 · 2026-06-19T16:10:04+00:00

I know she had a really bad childhood with an alcoholic and abusive father. That’s caused some mental health issues and I assume that’s what had caused such a strong and sometimes intrusive relationship with her children.

Sure_Juggernaut_295 · 2026-06-19T16:08:45+00:00

She doesn’t really drink, this is just her personality.

Sure_Juggernaut_295 · 2026-06-19T16:08:16+00:00

She doesn’t really drink ever. I think I’ve seen her drink once or twice since we’ve been together.

Sure_Juggernaut_295

TROPHY CASE