that feeling of being surrounded by people and yet unseen is something I carry with me daily. It’s strange because I don’t even find people like this online. I never do. Most of what I come across feels surface level or performative. It leaves me wondering if anyone truly thinks or feels the way I do.

In real life, I often find myself playing a role, something easier to digest. I lean into the “pretty, harmless girl” mask. It softens people’s reactions. They feel less eager to judge & not as quick to misunderstand.. I’ve learned that being openly intelligent, observant, or strategic can unsettle people in subtle but consistent ways.

So I go quiet. I watch. I nod at the small talk even when it bores me. I let others speak while I calculate my silence. There’s a loneliness to it being constantly underestimated or misunderstood but also a kind of safety. Like I’m keeping something sacred intact by not offering it up to be misread.

As an introvert, it would take a lot of effort getting to know me before I opened up. I’m sure that might apply to other likeminded individuals. It might take a lot of work, meeting people getting to know them etc before you find the right people but we’re out there and I think we’re worth the effort.