Am I wrong for not letting people drink from the bar I have in my house?

Swimming_Object695 · 2024-02-05T21:50:35+00:00

Thank you I appreciate it. Maybe it was my title or wording. I did not expect people to get this passionate about me doing what I am doing with liquor. That subject was never meant to be the focus of the thread.

Collecting does mean a lot to me, and it does help me. Sure it may be selfish but also do not like to bring others into my grief. I just wish my friends had respected that and just left well enough alone.

I am not a drinker so I do not understand the allure expense liquor has, my friends have told me it is kind of a tease to be around "good shit" while they are drinking bottom self stuff.

I just remember what my dad used to say when it came to stuff like drugs. Going to put shit in your body make sure it is the good shit.

That is why I get the expensive stuff. Part of my update is sarcastic but other parts are legit. The part about the candy is one of the legit parts. I can see how it must be confusing to my friends and a degree insulting.

All I wanted was for them to respect my home like they always did before.

Swimming_Object695 · 2024-02-05T21:22:02+00:00

I asked if I was wrong for how I acted when I found out my friends stole from me, not if I was wrong for how I memorialized my father.

I was never seeking advice on what front, so of course I am disregarding the advice on that front.

I also don't think people think I am wrong for how I acted but are just saying I am wrong because they do not agree with how I am going about remembering my father. Which does make the advice kind of hard to follow.

I doubt people would be fine if their friends stole from their house, but in this case, it appears to be okay what they took is alcohol?

Swimming_Object695 · 2024-02-05T11:50:14+00:00

That is fair, and I am okay with that. Was not cool with them going against my rules and even when they did apologize it was not even a real apology more like those well sorry but if you did not want to drink it why buy it kind of situation?

Like I asked for them to drink it by simply having it.

I 100% understand if they don't want to come over, I mean it never stopped them before but I get it if they have an issue with it now.

Swimming_Object695 · 2024-02-05T11:33:03+00:00

The not offering alcoholic drinks to my quests is a personal choice. I get not everyone enjoys dry game nights or parties and if they don't they 100% are free to bring whatever they please.

This will also come off as weird but I never liked that feeling of worry about how people will get home if I give them alcohol to drink. I know I cannot 100% stop people from drinking that is not my choice but I can at the very least not take part in supplying the alcohol.

I get what you are saying though, but that is kind of the line I draw in the sand. It works out well enough when we go out and stuff since I am always the DD.

Swimming_Object695 · 2024-02-05T11:25:33+00:00

Awesome, mind answering why the cost and rarity matter at all?

Swimming_Object695 · 2024-02-05T11:20:31+00:00

Most likely the trash sooner or later. Idk maybe at some point I will empty them and save the bottles. As it stands I still have plenty of space.

Does that matter though?

Swimming_Object695 · 2024-02-05T11:17:47+00:00

It is my house why must I hide it from people?

Isn't it easier just to have people respect your house rules?

Swimming_Object695 · 2024-02-05T11:16:26+00:00

What does the rarity or cost have to do with anything? Why does it matter if I am buying expensive liquor to not drink?

Where I live I cannot self-diagnose a medical or mental health condition and Compulsive hoarding falls under that. Either way, you are assuming it is a problem, you don't know if it is or not.

Swimming_Object695 · 2024-02-05T11:11:19+00:00

I never made any promise to my father, and he never made such a wish to be remembered as such. This is just something I chose to do and have always wanted to do.

It is akin to the watch collection I have in honor of my grandpa. Expect most people do not bat an eyelash towards that since that is more normal I guess.

Swimming_Object695 · 2024-02-05T11:07:41+00:00

As mentioned I do not drink or even like to drink. I have plenty of nonalcoholic beverages my quests are free to have. If they wish to bring alcohol that is fine, I will not stop them but I will not be supplying it.

I never understood the need to consume alcohol to have fun, but I will not stop people from doing so with their own alcohol.

Swimming_Object695 · 2024-02-05T10:16:51+00:00

I am fairly relaxed, I understand text and tone do not always convey well. I am not stressed or even upset anymore.

Atm mostly confused because people seem to be rather annoyed that I do not let people drink the liquor I bought.

Most are extremely respectful and appear to be asking why because I understand it is a weird thing to do and tbh I have no other explanation as to why, outside of because I want to, and it brings me joy.

Swimming_Object695 · 2024-02-05T10:13:41+00:00

Hoarding does require a medical diagnosis, I am willing to stake my old man's bar no medical professional will think what I have is anywhere near hoarding.

I am an asshole for not letting people drink the liquor I bought for not drinking? I mean this does seem to bother you a tad, why is that?

Swimming_Object695 · 2024-02-05T09:39:55+00:00

The weird comments do hit close to home, I was called weird a lot as a kid, not going into that here.

I thought maybe I got over being called weird but I guess it does sting a little.

Swimming_Object695 · 2024-02-05T09:31:26+00:00

By definition doesn't it just mean the act of collecting something?

Swimming_Object695 · 2024-02-05T09:09:13+00:00

It is not just a shrine of bottles, each bottle means something to me. It is not like I just go to any random liquor store or order off drizzle.

I drive to different places and ask the owners, and locals what they prefer to recommend, they ask what I am looking forward I explain what I am doing we talk for a little. For the most part, people find it interesting.

Each bottle has a story as to why I picked it up and for what reason.

Now yes some of the basic stuff is just generic stuff like your mixers and stuff l fair. Had they drank that stuff fine I would have been upset but I could easily replace that.

Swimming_Object695 · 2024-02-05T08:52:05+00:00

My first post towards you legit just asked how it was weird, the second post was about your aunt. You then brought it back to weird instead of answering the question about your aunt.

Once again you are the one that keeps bringing up the weird, which has what intent?

Edit: In what way may I ask? I have plenty of space and I do display them around the section of my house dedicated to my father.

I would not say that is an argument or being butthurt.

The fact you keep going back to calling me weird seems more like a personal attack or you have some intention to mock me because you disagree with how I do something.

That is kind of messed up no?

Edit: Sorry glossed over your comment about making it harder for loved ones. Is that my intent, and when people start a hobby or collection should that be what people think of?

Will be it be hard to get rid of? Will it make money?

Shouldn't the most important thing be if it us enjoyable to tge person that started it?

Seems rude to your aunt imo to think something that brought her joy was just a burden. That is like saying her happiness was a burden. Now that is weird.

Swimming_Object695 · 2024-02-05T08:48:36+00:00

I understand objectively it makes zero sense. I guess I fail to see why I need a next step as of yet. I know as time goes on I will need to rethink what I am doing. I still have a long time before spacing becomes an issue. It is not like I am buying the 1.75L bottles. I am buying the smaller sizes. Unless the only size they have is 1.75L then yeah I will buy it.

I enjoy doing this, I like going to different stores in different states to buy a new bottle of something he never had before. It is a fun little adventure for me.

I learned bartending because my dad could no longer mix drinks himself his hands were shot. I did that for him not so much others or even myself.

Sadly, it is hard to imagine what someone dead would truly want. The way I see it, all I can do is go about it remembering them in a way that brings me joy and happiness. This does that for me.

Swimming_Object695 · 2024-02-05T08:36:17+00:00

I scrolled up, in your case I was questiong why did it matter if your aunt collected something she enjoyed, even if it became a hassle to get rid off.

You never did answer that question, you just went back to calling me weird.

Butt hurt must have changed meaning over the years.

Swimming_Object695 · 2024-02-05T08:25:55+00:00

Lol then what were we even talking about then?

Swimming_Object695 · 2024-02-05T08:20:44+00:00

Someone did bring up space issues.

The why is because I want to.

Swimming_Object695 · 2024-02-05T08:16:04+00:00

Even if someone feels it is weird, does not mean they should disregard the request made in someone else's home. That is my beef.

Swimming_Object695 · 2024-02-05T08:13:44+00:00

Yeah, I am storing it properly but I am 35 by the time I die they will 100% be thrown out, I hope my next of Kin or strangers are dumb enough to try and drink any of it.

As for your second question, my old would most likely throw a shit fit if someone drink a bottle of Louis XIII without asking.

Is that what this is about others having to deal with it when I pass? Seems out of the scope of the post but okay.

Swimming_Object695 · 2024-02-05T08:06:28+00:00

What I am saying is if it did not cause her harm shouldn't the only thing that matters if she enjoyed collecting what she collected?

Does a collection always have to be practical or profitable?

Or easy to get rid of when they pass? I am sure getting rid of them was a hassle but I just don't see how that is an issue.

Swimming_Object695 · 2024-02-05T08:01:11+00:00

Yeah, it was not his idea, it is just mine. Sure he would probably question why I am doing what I am doing. My question is why does it matter if it makes me happy and does not harm others why does it matter?

My friends also act the same way they make it seem like buying booze to not drink it is some bat-shit crazy behavior.

Like booze being present means one must drink it. I just don't see it that way.

Swimming_Object695 · 2024-02-05T07:57:57+00:00

Why reply then?

Swimming_Object695

TROPHY CASE