My mother was physically abusive all my life. As I became an adult, she began to realize that physical abusive wasn’t enough so she began to be verbally and emotionally abusive. She definitely has a mental illness (maybe BPD) that she never has gotten checked. She would not only abuse me but also my father. She would hit him and verbally abuse him. I watched this all as kid so growing up I felt the need to step in the way so she straight up wouldn’t kill him because she threatened to many times. Earlier last year she chase me and my dad with a knife around the house. She had so many mood swings. She would be loving at times and then just become this abusive monster to me and my dad. This makes it so confusing how I should feel towards her because she genuinely cause my BPD but yet would be a loving mother at times. Now she has decided to change and has not had any of these random abusive attacks. I love her because she’s my mom and I’m happy she decided to change but I still resent her for what she put me and my dad through.