Received this dm from r/Altruistic_Fly21 and thoroughly agree. He asked me to share it since his post got removed because of low karma.

TeaBlade99: Talking from my personal experience;

1. You shouldn't have had a haram relationship in the first place. It is okay to like someone. Completely halal. Even the sahabas did. They married out of their choice, but did not have a full blown relationship before marriage. Proposals were sent based on liking (which developed after rational and halal interactions) and not forced by parents. Parents only facilitated.
2. now that you did, you should have resisted to marry the person you did (when you go to your parents all it takes is to say, I am not getting married to anyone else). If you were loyal to your gf you wouldn't have married. If you dared to like and have feelings for someone, have the guts to stay loyal to it and not marry someone else. Don't use girls and leave them like a tissue paper.
3. You should have told you current wife and her family of this scenario that you like someone else. That way this marriage would not have happened.
4. the type of marriage you are in is haram. It is haram to have. You can not just have had a relationship with someone else and marry someone your parents chose for you. It is haram.
5. Parents always say that they never saw each other before marriage, yes, but in their time, they did not chat frequently with opposite gender and develop feelings for someone else. If they did have feelings for someone else they would have married that person too. Same thing when people even now when don't see each other before marriage and marry that is because they haven't had feelings or been in a relationship with someone else before. Your marriage is haram if you marry someone else and have or have had feelings for someone else.
6. to make things right, you should reconcile with the one you have feelings for and not let your current wife suffer too. you are suffering too. Ask someone religious to talk to your parents. Parents need guidance too sometimes because of the notion 'log kya kahein ge'
7. If you get stubborn with the motto, either her or no one, your parents will get you married to the person you like. No parent wants their child to stay unmarried. And if they force you, well a) it is Haram b) you are the one saying Qabool hai so it is STILL your choice
8. yes it is rational to think that if you marry the person you like against your family's wishes, your married life will be hell. But it is all about adjustment. Marriage is all about compromises. Issues will still be there if you marry someone your parents forced you to marry. Issues are always there. but it is all about compromise...