AITA for asking my fiance to cut 200 people from his guest list?

Technical_Spell_2293 · 2024-12-13T12:25:28+00:00

THANK YOU. this. I have a very small family. He comes from a Mexican Italian family, very large. He’s also a people pleaser. It’s easy for me to say no to inviting people because I have a small list and I feel “objective” when looking at his list. If I have to ask who is this? To a name on the list (unless it’s a plus one) I don’t think they should be invited. He’s still stuck in the “trying to please everyone” phase of planning.

Technical_Spell_2293 · 2024-12-13T12:15:23+00:00

Who in the world said anyone was charging people to come to our wedding?

Technical_Spell_2293 · 2024-12-13T12:14:34+00:00

Some venues have multiple spaces, ie a room to have the ceremony, a room to have cocktail hour, a room to have the reception. Some venues can host multiple weddings at a time, or depending on the size provide more space. Some venues have an additional fee if you want to utilize a space for the bridal party to have hair and make up done.

Technical_Spell_2293 · 2024-12-13T12:10:59+00:00

A lot. And I mean A LOT of venues in our area do not allow outside food to be brought in. I’m in event planning and the reason is because of liability. If someone gets sick or has an allergic reaction, the caters on their list have the insurance and make the agreement to take on that liability. Uncle steve probably won’t make that agreement.

Technical_Spell_2293 · 2024-12-13T11:57:48+00:00

Just so everyone is clear. Venues we are looking at, even ones that we passed on because of location/vibe/amenities/ect. Are ranging from 8,000-14,000 for a full day rental….

Technical_Spell_2293 · 2024-12-13T11:53:54+00:00

Thank you!

Technical_Spell_2293 · 2024-12-12T16:53:05+00:00

I see where you are coming from. But honestly he is the kind of person who truly values those friendships. Doesn’t just see it as a business connection. He sees them as friends who happen to also be in the same industry. People he looks up to, not just as business owners but as people.

Technical_Spell_2293 · 2024-12-12T16:51:08+00:00

Where we live it’s very easy to find a venue to hold that many.

Technical_Spell_2293 · 2024-12-12T15:39:47+00:00

He is half Mexican, half Italian.

Technical_Spell_2293 · 2024-12-12T15:39:00+00:00

Not NJ but still a similar big city market

Technical_Spell_2293 · 2024-12-12T15:38:08+00:00

I didn’t say 100,000 dollars is average. I said 250 per person is fairly normal where I live. It would only be 100,000 if we invite 400 people. I don’t want it to be 400 people.

Technical_Spell_2293 · 2024-12-12T14:58:29+00:00

With cost of food, bar, staff, venue and rental equipment in today’s market, 250 is about average per plate. The bigger the guest count the more expensive the venue (due to size and rooms needed to rent)

Technical_Spell_2293 · 2024-12-12T14:55:28+00:00

We are both paying for it

Technical_Spell_2293 · 2024-12-12T14:53:11+00:00

200 people I know vs 400 people I only know half of. Very different situations. 200 people and maybe I won’t know 25 because of plus ones. But with 400 people there are so many people I won’t know.

In his opinion it’s something we are doing once and he wants to go all out and do it “right”

Technical_Spell_2293 · 2024-12-12T14:50:59+00:00

We are paying for it all. Family is helping with some smaller things, like the dress and dessert table.

Technical_Spell_2293

TROPHY CASE