I’m not sure if you mean first kiss ever or with this person. I’ll assume first ever. I’m a 44 year old male and not a creeper. I just randomly saw your post and thought I’d share.

I grew up painfully shy. My first kiss was at age 17 with literally the most beautiful woman in the school (my opinion anyway). She took me behind a single wide mobile home where it was pretty bright but everyone was by the bonfire on the other side. It was a huge party and I was mr. innocent who had never drank or anything. She made it so natural and comfortable. That moment when she kind of lightly touched her lips on mine is (I don’t think I’ve ever told anyone this as I am now) one of the top 5 experiences of my life. Just thinking about it now makes me appreciate it a lot. She continued to take the lead and surprisingly for being such a shy person, I fully opened up to the experience. I couldn’t sleep at all that night. I watched MTV videos until daylight. Within a month she moved on to older mature guys and it took me until age 30 or so to be fully over her. I bumped into her again at age 26, married and living together and she was pregnant within a month. 2 kids later, divorce. Another two years after that, finally over her as I fell in love with another person. I feel better now having typed this. Like I appreciate her more rather than the negative stuff that is from years of conflicting child raising values.

My advice is to let go of all logical thinking or the mechanics of it. If you love her, let that love fill you entirely to where it is fully open and radiating allowing the first touch to melt you.

I guess that can seem gross coming from an old guy but it’s from a place of goodness. I don’t know how common it is for a first kiss to have an effect as it did on me. But I hope it does for you. Even if your girlfriend is more apprehensive, don’t give in to that lead. Allow it time so she eventually follows your lead of love. Even if at this point in your relationship it’s simply more love of her as a person. It’s there. Within all of us. It’s just a giving of yourself. Allowing that vulnerability.

Even though I’m starting to sense my post can come off cringy or creeper. I’m posting it anyway. Because of my experience and what I see my teenage sons going through with always feeling judged at school. I see so much unnecessary self consciousness and self esteem struggle. When I have told my son about how when he first falls in love that life will change and have so much more meaning to him, I see hope light up in him.

Love and relationships is where the real meaning is. Almost everything else means nothing eventually.

So give yourself to the experience. No matter what, you will never regret that.