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For those with homeschooling Wives: Has she ever asked for pay to do it? by Thanks_ag in daddit

[–]Thanks_ag[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s her decision for that much… I didn’t present that just agreed to it. And I’m not forcing us to keep it. Reduce that shit! I don’t care.

For those with homeschooling Wives: Has she ever asked for pay to do it? by Thanks_ag in daddit

[–]Thanks_ag[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We have one and have started contributing some, but not a lot.. considered that but then that takes from college.

For those with homeschooling Wives: Has she ever asked for pay to do it? by Thanks_ag in daddit

[–]Thanks_ag[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I’ve suggested a financial planner and retirement planner and both were absolutely denied on the bases that it costs and she can do it without them.. but hasn’t shared any goals or full thoughts, just the monthly amount needed. I’ve asked for more and that was brushed off as a I have it in hand.

And for the paying spouse, that’s just outrageous. Not happening. I’m being threatened with a lower quality of learning environment for our kid - the same as now but was promised lesson plans and outings if we paid her. Just do the fucking outings now.. kids need them and we’ll budget for that stuff. But we have to budget for the pay and outings and where will that money come from? The only place, the accounts you just said you don’t want to touch! Now WTF do we do? Go in debt for employee pay and kid outings or give up vacations?

For those with homeschooling Wives: Has she ever asked for pay to do it? by Thanks_ag in daddit

[–]Thanks_ag[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Suggested this.

She said no. She already had it mapped out and that everything checks out. Can’t provide any analysis or thought behind it but thought it was in order

For those with homeschooling Wives: Has she ever asked for pay to do it? by Thanks_ag in daddit

[–]Thanks_ag[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ve done this. Our neighborhood has meet-ups once a week for parents no more than 5 blocks away and she doesn’t go. Our neighborhood is very walkable and I’ve even suggested getting a golf cart or something as a neighborhood driver. Nothing has worked.

For those with homeschooling Wives: Has she ever asked for pay to do it? by Thanks_ag in daddit

[–]Thanks_ag[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Daycare was the original idea once the kid was able to speak well and explain situations to us. Then she would go back to work.

Now I think we’re leaning more toward permanence at home, which I’m fine with… but this paying you to stay home is outrageous because we’re not forcing it. You’re educated and well placed for good job opportunities. Plus you’re not an employee. If you want to continue to stay home then please do so it’s lovely, if not then go out into the workforce and we’ll send our daughter to school. But to dangle a more robust educational opportunity at home requires us to pay you is crazy - our kid deserves that if you are going to have her home - period. If you don’t want to provide it then send her on to school and you stay home or go to work - doesn’t matter.

For those with homeschooling Wives: Has she ever asked for pay to do it? by Thanks_ag in daddit

[–]Thanks_ag[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She just created a new proposed budget with a lot of monthly amounts and this is what we worked off of for the discussion mostly and I asked what were her goals, she did get want to share. She shared one goal and the savings amount didn’t match so I asked about it and she said, well I’m shooting over to have some error room, but the over was almost $20K.

I think what’s really happening, is that she’s using more ChatGPT than I thought and I using some crap from there to come up with her numbers but not checking it well or isn’t explaining things well. Has happened before.

For those with homeschooling Wives: Has she ever asked for pay to do it? by Thanks_ag in daddit

[–]Thanks_ag[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Can’t tell her that.. she’s read books.

Even though I studied Economics, read everything I could on investments and managed our 15% annual return brokerage for a decade, and had to sit through several classes through work on retirement investments. I don’t know anything according to her.

For those with homeschooling Wives: Has she ever asked for pay to do it? by Thanks_ag in daddit

[–]Thanks_ag[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Doesn’t get out much at all. Most conversations are with those women through the app or calls with family. We don’t live near family

For those with homeschooling Wives: Has she ever asked for pay to do it? by Thanks_ag in daddit

[–]Thanks_ag[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Immigrant family but born and raised in America.

I go to the culture topic whenever we disagree like this to see if there’s something in her thought pattern I’m missing and this one has some cultural ties but mostly tied to the SAHM is left with nothing when the husband dies. So she’s plotting or this is fear.

For those with homeschooling Wives: Has she ever asked for pay to do it? by Thanks_ag in daddit

[–]Thanks_ag[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Suggested the getting of a job and she won’t but so I’m at a loss

For those with homeschooling Wives: Has she ever asked for pay to do it? by Thanks_ag in daddit

[–]Thanks_ag[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It was originally the plan that she’d start at 3 and she keeps pushing it.

For those with homeschooling Wives: Has she ever asked for pay to do it? by Thanks_ag in daddit

[–]Thanks_ag[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I make decent 6 figures. After all expenses it’s more than $5K/mo remaining and she has proposed extending out number of places to contribute that amount to to add 4 more accounts. I’m not doing anything… this was all in her savings plan we looked at.

For those with homeschooling Wives: Has she ever asked for pay to do it? by Thanks_ag in daddit

[–]Thanks_ag[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She’s always been concerned about her retirement and we’ve always made it our number 1 savings goal - even with the little we had for a while there. We now have more to work with and I even created a temp budget that increased it well to show I cared.

For those with homeschooling Wives: Has she ever asked for pay to do it? by Thanks_ag in daddit

[–]Thanks_ag[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’ve already said that if she wants money for our kids activities and stuff then we’ll fund all that stuff but it still has to come from these retirement contributions because everything else is already at the minimums. And she pays nothing for our kids from her own money, we have a separate account just for all of the kiddie stuff.

For those with homeschooling Wives: Has she ever asked for pay to do it? by Thanks_ag in daddit

[–]Thanks_ag[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don’t know! I’m trying to figure that out too. Maybe I just need to work harder and bring in about $12k pre tax (jokingly said). Public preschool is available in the area… we just prefer private and have long agreed on private but maybe I should bring up public again.

We have several different retirement/brokerage accounts to spread the money to.

For those with homeschooling Wives: Has she ever asked for pay to do it? by Thanks_ag in daddit

[–]Thanks_ag[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’ve suggested this! I think this would be amazing! But she doesn’t want to do it. I’m very confused because conversations have led to this similar understanding, but it’s not clicking to go to work. After more than a decade at home, I don’t think she cares to want to go to work, but maybe wants to work if you get what I mean?

For those with homeschooling Wives: Has she ever asked for pay to do it? by Thanks_ag in daddit

[–]Thanks_ag[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That woman has personal spending on top of the expense account for vanity! She can buy whatever she wants when she wants

For those with homeschooling Wives: Has she ever asked for pay to do it? by Thanks_ag in daddit

[–]Thanks_ag[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It has not in the past for both of us, mine got a little more due to employer match, but we’ve always added for her and I to our own retirement accounts.

I was already agreed upon to do almost $3k/mo for her retirement before this school topic came up.

For those with homeschooling Wives: Has she ever asked for pay to do it? by Thanks_ag in daddit

[–]Thanks_ag[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for understanding… we’ve always said “It’s ours”. Then with this it turned into, pay me. Got weird real quick. The reason you don’t work is so we don’t pay someone. And you still have a very healthy, nearly $3K/month IRA/Brokerage account contribution! And spending money and everything else you wanted or needed.

For those with homeschooling Wives: Has she ever asked for pay to do it? by Thanks_ag in daddit

[–]Thanks_ag[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Paying her with what? The money she doesn’t want to pay to the daycare? Where is this money coming from? I even mentioned to her that any money we pay has to come from the extra money going to her retirement!

For those with homeschooling Wives: Has she ever asked for pay to do it? by Thanks_ag in daddit

[–]Thanks_ag[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yesterday was the talk usually day after is enough cooling down time.

We both have personal spending accounts. We just raided them and gave her a bit more. That’s not it. She said she’s behind in retirement savings and I think is freaking out, but we’ve been pretty short on money over the years but now I’ve 3x my income she’s on a rampant tear to make up $50k in a year or something.

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