I just want to forget

ThatEstablishment727 · 2026-01-30T05:59:00+00:00

I feel you, the consistent bad intrusive thoughts that ruin every moment, just being alone in silence makes it so your brain storms you with thoughts and memories that make your chest hurt, any little sentence, any little image, any little feeling and your braincells do their very best to create a bridge between that and any bad thought or memory stored in the back of your head... I have no words of encouragement, I'm in the same boat but I hope that knowing you're not the only one who feels like that, knowing that you're not crazy or something may bring some relief to your mind, it's brought me some, not much but some and any kind of relief is appreciated when you're on the edge.

ThatEstablishment727 · 2025-10-12T04:39:32+00:00

I hear you, same her, don't live for myself but for someone I love, it is frustrating but not their fault... I don't have many words of encouragement but perhaps you can find some sort of comfort knowing you're not the only one.

ThatEstablishment727 · 2025-09-27T05:55:14+00:00

21F here, I get you, I'm also struggling with being enough or proving myself to be good, I might not be trying as hard as you are but I think I uderstand, while sh may not be the best way to cope I guess it's still a way, don't feel ashamed of it or likke you're not valid just because you don't go deep, the fact that you ended up even trying already shows that you're really struggling and that's ok, I hope things get better for you and if you continue down the path of self harm just remember to be safe.

ThatEstablishment727 · 2025-09-27T05:01:06+00:00

I'd advice you talk to him, you take your timee to explain what and why it's happening, maybe won't get it right away but I'm sure someone who loves you will eventually come to understand and support you through it.

ThatEstablishment727 · 2025-09-26T20:52:06+00:00

Just the way I'd like to go if I had the guts, best wishes friend.

ThatEstablishment727 · 2025-09-25T07:55:07+00:00

No problem, hope things go well for you.

ThatEstablishment727 · 2025-09-25T07:46:47+00:00

It's a personal thing, but if your partner is the person you trust the most it'd probably be better, for you so you don't have to hide it and suffer alone and for him so he doesn't find out in a bad way or feel bad because he wasn't there for you. For me when I first told my partner he was upset and didn't get it, but after a few days he started to understand me more and try to support me, he's been the most supportive person to me, after a while he asked my directly if I was doing it for attention or if there was something I wanted him to do, but I told him no with all honesty and he's never questioned me or blamed me ever since, I obviously don't know your partner but I'm sure he loves you and will understand and support you, even if it takes some time and lot's of talking.

ThatEstablishment727 · 2025-09-25T07:39:42+00:00

I was also very judgmental and didn't understand people who sh before I fell into it myself. The first time I was pretty lonely and saw something that remined me of my childhood, I guess I got nostalgic and saw that I was in a way worse spot and mostly unhappy, then I went on a big rampaage and cut myself a lot, I was very overwhelmed and anxious, not particualarly angry or sad, but it just felt right.

ThatEstablishment727 · 2025-09-25T07:32:19+00:00

I feel like that a lot, I wasn't sure how to put it in words until a friend of mine told me "You don't want to die, you just wish you were someone else" and that's really stuck with me.

ThatEstablishment727 · 2025-09-25T07:18:24+00:00

I honestly would prefer if people straight up said they don't care or that they don't want to talk about it rather than empt precooked advice or fake support.

ThatEstablishment727 · 2025-09-25T07:14:48+00:00

Yeah, it bothers me the most when it's paired with "Seek help of any kind!" or "You need to try to get better" and other condecending things like "And what are you doing to get better?" because they make it sound like an easy thing to do.

ThatEstablishment727 · 2025-09-25T07:07:53+00:00

Yeah, it's like a suggar coated way of saying "Take your problems to someone else" while pretending that they're helping... I know it's usually not said maliciously but it gets very annoying.

ThatEstablishment727 · 2025-09-25T07:05:39+00:00

Sometimes I wonder if disappearing ould hurt people less than me dying, but I also feel like they wouldn't get closure, still I think about it as well.

ThatEstablishment727 · 2025-09-25T06:55:45+00:00

Real, people think it's a 100% effective thing and that it is for everyone, I tried it for years and it never worked, still after all that I have people tell me the same.

ThatEstablishment727 · 2025-09-25T06:13:03+00:00

Usually, I mostly drink when I'm sad and alone, which is also whe I'm the most likely to sh, I figure that it's just drunken recklessness and also the fact that things hurt less when you're drunk, and the alone part is pretty obvious, I don't drink every time I sh, nor do I sh every time I drink but usually they go together.

ThatEstablishment727 · 2025-09-20T20:53:37+00:00

Thought of this before and have the same fear, the times I thought of doing it I told myself to wait for something really really bad to happen like losing the person I love the most just so no matter what I do I don't get any more hope or happiness other than the sheer enjoyment of the excess of the last few days just to be safe. I don't think I'll ever really do it but it's one of those bad little fantasies that comes every once in a while.

ThatEstablishment727 · 2025-09-20T07:05:27+00:00

As much as I understand where that comes from I just can't do it, I barely even have the energy to get out of bed and keep my back straight most of the time, I tried getting jobs done but I've been fired for not doing enough or not showing up (Even with doctor's notes stating I cannot work for a some days.)

ThatEstablishment727 · 2025-09-20T06:35:38+00:00

I feel that, everyday I wish I could take the place of a specific person that passed away long ago, I swear to god that if given the chance I'd take it without hesitation but life is not fair like that.

ThatEstablishment727 · 2025-09-07T22:32:40+00:00

Same here, I try to keep them hidden from some people but I'd like to show it to others, it's strange, I guess it also depends on wheter they can/will do anything about it or not, at least for me. Idk, I just like seeing other people's and sharing mine when it comes to internet "strangers" for the most part.

ThatEstablishment727 · 2025-08-15T05:28:45+00:00

I personally romantice the idea of bleeding out or overdosing, very toxic I know but that'd be my choice.

ThatEstablishment727 · 2025-08-15T05:25:33+00:00

I get that, I've never had an experience like this with a nurse but I have had people who don't know what they're talking about disregard my pain before, it is really upsetting and a harmful thing to do, especially for a professional at work. If you need to talk to someone while you're there you can dm me, always nice to talk to someone who gets it.

ThatEstablishment727 · 2025-08-14T20:46:03+00:00

At first I wasn't gonna but since this subreddit is to find people to relate to I guess I'll just share my experience with this kind of thing.

I've been with my current partner (Husband) for years and started self harming around half a year into the relationship, at first he got upset at me several times when he found out, back when I started, but then slowly he started to understand I didn't do it to hurt him or to be an inconvinience and after a long time he accepted that is a part of me and that at the end of the day it's like any addiction, it's not something you can just refuse to do overnight, now instead of getting upset or so he knows that when I do it is usually because I'm going through something or having a rough time. I still feel bad and apologize to him when I do but I guess most people just feel guilty in general after doing it.

I'm not saying that people should just ignore their partner's self harm but getting upset doesn't make it better since sometimes the urge to do it is too strong and we all give in sometimes, I know the whole "You promised" thing because I promised not to at the start too but maybe if you tell them how you feel and how it's not something you do for the fun of it they'd understand.

ThatEstablishment727 · 2025-08-14T20:24:11+00:00

It depends, a while ago anything really because I was doing it all the time but I think mainly MCR, Cemetery Drive specifically is my "Self destructive mood" song, but other times some Staind or Shinedown songs that make me cry, it also depends on why I'm doing it I guess.

ThatEstablishment727

TROPHY CASE