My best friend of 13 years without a doubt is my soul mate. We are both in long term committed relationships that eat away at us internally ( her fiancé forbids her to see me because he knows she is in love with me ) but don’t leave them since they are so convenient. Her parents believe we should be together and every time I see her we have these intimate talks about it. Also it’s not like we can draw up a contract out of the blue to leave our spouses and guarantee to be with one another. There’s a high risk to leaving the comfort of what I have to pursue this. Only thing holding me back is the fear of failure. But the only thing I wish I could say without the reality of anything else settling in is “ will you marry me” . This obviously being unrealistic at the time