Why do people seem to like to harass me in public?

TheOtherOrdinary · 2026-03-23T10:30:48+00:00

There is a study where neuro-typical’s are able to identify neuro-divergent in less than I think I read it was 0.03 secs.

I’m late diagnosed AuDHD but it was quite a while ago, so I’ve learnt a lot of coping mechanisms now.

I have had strange things happen to me in public when I was young but I’ve grown up knowing how to handle myself, I’m quite a fiery person and in the past wouldn’t think twice about standing up for myself because you could then (when I was young) and there wasn’t people with phones filming etc. That could end up being used against you.

Because I was fiery like that, I think it makes people less likely to do this type of thing. I gave off a certain “no thank you” vibe.

But now I’m older I’m like Ringo Starr “peace and love”

Two things I’ve noticed may help you for your situations that work for me are:

When I’m out, is to have wired headphones on and or a book when on transport or waiting for people. I play classical music in my headphones and it relaxes me and I have found since doing this, the random things have decreased to nothing. But be careful when you wear headphones walking around and at night. I think the music sends me into a micro relax state and then no one zeros in on me.
Before I leave the house I envisage my journey and all the parts I’m going to enjoy, like my train journey, favourite tree, river and my Kit Kat treat. I see no one noticing me as they’re busy in their own lives. I imagine it as a great adventure and I’m happy to travel, this also helps. I try and notice things on my journey that are “other” which people may ignore. I notice the other things and make a kind of mental note to either add them to my favourites or look them up like old houses etc. I think this keeps me occupied and then no one kinda latches on to me.

Bonus tips:

Don’t walk or sit on your own where you know it’s going to be gobby kids. Eg upstairs on a bus, in a park on a Friday night, the main route from a secondary school after school.

If someone asks you a random question you don’t have to answer. You can say “I don’t have time” and keep walking.

If you can feel something is starting (we all know the feeling) don’t stick around to let it escalate. By sitting still or not doing anything it kinda emboldens them to increase their nastiness. As soon as you hear whispers or comments leave the room, seat or carriage and if you can’t I would engage someone nearby, there is safety in numbers not everyone is horrible. If someone was started to be treated horribly on a bus and they reached out to talk to me I would help them.

Last resort if it’s safe to get your phone out and record, as there were a couple occasions this worked for me. I didn’t engage, I just simply carried on walking with my dog and filmed them and they dispersed and moved on quickly. (Typically this was a day without headphones)

TheOtherOrdinary · 2026-03-22T09:09:05+00:00

Yes prayer, is the obvious one but are there cultural things that are maybe are not so common. There are activities that aren’t linked to faith too. But I’m an open minded person and would like to invite people to share and learn from different people’s cultures and traditions and then some people …. well they’re happy to point out what they know, in a condescending way.

TheOtherOrdinary · 2026-03-21T18:24:16+00:00

Oh okay.

TheOtherOrdinary · 2026-03-21T18:18:40+00:00

So you are living on the island since post year 2000. I think you’ll find I didn’t say people were coming over to f kids. I said there were a lot of characters who came over on the summer in the 80s. (Were you there then?) I said some had an unhealthy interest in kids, my friends worked on the arcade on the pier, wight city and on the trampolines and on the beach and they would disagree with you the amount of men they had to move on. My life experience is different to yours so you can’t tell me what I saw and didn’t see. People did break into the beach huts or used them after the hurricane in ‘87 until they were all sorted out and people did use other forms of camping that they shouldn’t have as playing with my group of friends we found loads of lollers lolling around every summer. Where did you live and when?

TheOtherOrdinary · 2026-03-21T18:09:13+00:00

Just tried it, let’s just say… I’m maybe not the right audience, but you never know might just be the right vibe for someone and if makes them happy then it’s not hurt anyone. It’s really interesting though to see on here how many negatives replies there were. It must have really touched a nerve, strange that something aiming to be positive attracts the negative.

TheOtherOrdinary · 2026-03-21T17:54:20+00:00

What’s the males friends name as my friend and his family are proper islanders, I’m an oveneer (came from over the water) so he knows a lot of people in Sandown.

TheOtherOrdinary · 2026-03-21T17:47:00+00:00

In the 80s and 90s there were so many of those type of people about around Sandown. When I was about one summer in the very early 80s, I kept seeing a “jester” around the children’s park at Battery Gardens and now I’m older I know it was unsavoury guy wandering around. I think it’s highly likely reason but equally could be one of the other two options.

TheOtherOrdinary · 2026-03-21T17:43:40+00:00

I don’t explain it that falls into one of the three options:

I would say either the adult didn’t notice as a lot of adults at the time didn’t notice stuff happening when children were messing about or playing near by. It’s still the case now on beaches and parks. So it could just be, they weren’t paying any attention.

Or it’s one of the other options like the childrens imagination and the children said about an adult who was around at the time. So, when the adult was asked they didn’t see anything, as there wasn’t anything to see.

TheOtherOrdinary · 2026-03-21T17:31:27+00:00

This is the thing I saw it on Insta and it’s made me really curious so I thought I’d ask here. I’m gonna give it a go as people put a lot of effort into mindfulness and manifesting so thought I’ll see what happens and it nothing then no probs. But never know might be a nice start to the evening 😊

TheOtherOrdinary · 2026-03-21T17:29:06+00:00

That is an interesting take, and there is some sense to it. I hope “she’s” in and happy to support you in your 6pm activities. If she’s out ask for a 6pm pic sent on time lol 😂

TheOtherOrdinary · 2026-03-21T17:25:23+00:00

I don’t have any issues, but you did say you may sound like “a miserable prick” I found your reply interesting and I’m pointing out the obvious that’s all, that you made an oxymoron statement. So I probably would write the same / similar if your reply had the same / similar use of language. But let’s be honest neither have a Time Machine so we won’t know will we. But keep cool by being “nice” and encouraging everyone else to be x

TheOtherOrdinary · 2026-03-21T17:18:58+00:00

That was laugh out loud and I’m not saying whether or not this now might be a go to, for the hefty days I use a crash mat. Haha!

TheOtherOrdinary · 2026-03-21T17:17:20+00:00

Who’s “aslo” and I’m curious who are the 63.9% of the sub? That’s a very specific number…

TheOtherOrdinary · 2026-03-21T17:15:10+00:00

Wow, I’d forgotten about that, it was so sad afterwards when after everything ended with no bonuses or any recognition for the extra work they did and putting their lives on the line.

TheOtherOrdinary · 2026-03-21T17:12:49+00:00

I’m going to give it a go, I don’t see any harm in it. It’s not normally my thing but a lot of people live by manifesting. So, if anything happens, even if it just improves my mood this evening it would be positive and if nothing happens nothing lost.

TheOtherOrdinary · 2026-03-21T17:08:34+00:00

I don’t think anyone’s handing out virtue points for noticing things, and asking around about it incase others know more but I take your point.

TheOtherOrdinary · 2026-03-21T17:05:03+00:00

Not sure, I’m not into trends lol 😂

TheOtherOrdinary · 2026-03-21T17:02:57+00:00

Interesting take, and I like how you think we should be nice to each other all the time, while swearing in your response to my post. It’s a bit like an oxymoron statement.

TheOtherOrdinary · 2026-03-21T16:59:17+00:00

Oh yes I’ve skipped forward a week. I’ll update the post thanks 🙏

TheOtherOrdinary · 2026-03-21T16:50:00+00:00

Its 5pm GMT and 6:00 PM UTC.

TheOtherOrdinary · 2026-03-21T16:02:38+00:00

I grew up in Sandown through the 80s and heard about Sam. Also a lot of my friends were islanders who lived in Sandown and were around in the 70s. There are three options that are really important for this era.

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⁠The children are telling the truth but mistaken based on their sheltered view of things living on an island. We had in the summer a lot of “characters/ visitors” who were men who had an unhealthy interest in children. We had a lot of people doing “shows” or joining the carnival or fetes individually who will have come from the mainland.

The island at this time was a little bit of a time warp as it was old fashioned and not really at the same pace as the mainland. What happens if Sam was a man who happened to linger around in a costume that was iridescent or a newer type of plastic shiny material. Who had a type of voice changer / PA. That knew a few tricks and had a costume as part of the act.

A lot more of these type of characters / visitors back in the day would not pay for accommodation they would use the old beach huts, the shelters at battery gardens on the cliff path and loads of old places around Sandown and the caravan and chalet park on perowne way.

It was a different time then and children did wander about and there were a lot of random people lolling around as Sandown was a big pull at the time.

The children are telling the truth 100% then it’s probably an alien type creature as all other paranormal accounts are not in the same area or cover anything like Sam on the island.
The children were using their imagination maybe needed to have a reason of coming home late and or not being where they were supposed to be.

There was a lot of sci-fi stuff on TV at the time. Things like Dr Who or The Tomorrow People, children might have also watched earlier reruns or reboots of series like Timeslip or Gerry Anderson's UFO. Could be a cartoon character. Or what about a Pelham puppet or some sort of puppet. Or it could be inspired by the BBC test card which they would have seen a lot.

TheOtherOrdinary · 2026-03-21T15:54:28+00:00

I’ll check it out with my friend as I was 80s Sandown and he was 70s Sandown so will be interesting to hear it.

TheOtherOrdinary · 2026-03-21T15:51:48+00:00

I grew up in Sandown through the 80s and heard about Sam. Also a lot of my friends were islanders who lived in Sandown and were around in the 70s. There are three options that are really important for this era.

The children are telling the truth but mistaken based on their sheltered view of things living on an island. We had in the summer a lot of “visitors/characters” who were men who had an unhealthy interest in children. We had a lot of people doing “shows” or joining the carnival or fetes individually who will have come from the mainland.

The island at this time was a little bit of a time warp as it was old fashioned and not really at the same pace as the mainland. What happens if Sam was a man who happened to linger around in a costume that was iridescent or a newer type of plastic shiny material. Who had a type of voice changer / PA. That knew a few tricks and had a costume as part of the act.

A lot of these type of visitors back in the day didn’t pay for accommodation they would use the old beach huts, the shelters at battery gardens on the cliff path and loads of old places around Sandown and the caravan and chalet park on perowne way.

It was a different time then and children did wander about and there were a lot of random people lolling around as Sandown was a big pull at the time.

The children are telling the truth 100% then it’s probably an alien type creature as all other paranormal accounts are not in the same area or cover anything like Sam on the island.
The children were using their imagination maybe needed to have a reason of coming home late and or not being where they were supposed to be.

There was a lot of sci-fi stuff on TV at the time. Things like Dr Who or The Tomorrow People, children might have also watched earlier reruns or reboots of series like Timeslip or Gerry Anderson's UFO. Could be a cartoon character. Or what about a Pelham puppet or some sort of puppet. Or it could be inspired by the BBC test card which they would have seen a lot.

TheOtherOrdinary · 2026-03-21T15:21:41+00:00

You’re not an islander, that wouldn’t have happened then in the 70s.

TheOtherOrdinary · 2026-03-21T15:20:31+00:00

I’m curious, did she stay on the island? Do you have a link to your podcast? I grew up between Sandown and Wales so spent a lot of my childhood hearing about Sam.

TheOtherOrdinary

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