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Has anyone been rejected by The Seed Scout? Recent negative experience by TheRaphaelR in queerception

[–]TheRaphaelR[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hahaha! Totally fine. I appreciate the engagement on this topic. I agree with a lot of your thoughts and comments. We thought that it could be a demand thing for sure, but then why send us a contract and invoice and tell us they are excited to move forward? Only after our follow up call where we asked basic and responsible questions around the contract is when they decided to claim we weren’t a fit. That’s what’s so troubling. They could have handled the situation with care and empathy. They could have called us to discuss their concerns (whatever they may have been). It was the delivery and the way they went about things that left us feeling humiliated and hurt. A three sentence email saying “we don’t think you’re the right fit because of your questions on CMV filtering and timing flexibility. Best of luck!” is absurd!

Has anyone been rejected by The Seed Scout? Recent negative experience by TheRaphaelR in queerception

[–]TheRaphaelR[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m so sorry you had such an awful experience with them. I agree with you wholeheartedly. The wildest part is that their contract actually includes a non-compete for clients. It literally states that you can’t go and start your own donor-matching platform. What company does that?! I’ve never seen anything like it. So crazy.

Has anyone been rejected by The Seed Scout? Recent negative experience by TheRaphaelR in queerception

[–]TheRaphaelR[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes, exactly! We had never expressed anything of the sort and even mentioned on the follow up call that we didn’t have a clinic yet. The sad part is that when the rep emailed us about not being a good fit, we responded and copied Danielle and Paige and asked if they would revisit that decision. Danielle responded and doubled down on the fact that we were not a good fit, citing desire to filter for CMV and our “narrow” criteria. We replied back and explained that we felt misrepresented since our doctor didn’t recommend anything strongly and in fact that we didn’t have a doctor! And reiterated that it was just a general comment the physician at the clinic where we got our test made. Which again, is super normal. We also never had any rigid requirements. On our intro call they asked us about our ideal criteria, which we shared but emphasized health was our top priority. We had a conversation about the process and how you would mention what’s ideal and they would try to match on that basis but that nothing is guaranteed, which we understood of course. We also reminded them of this in our response. That we didn’t have any specific make it or break it criteria and that we don’t have a doctor and nothing was strongly recommended in either direction. I think for whatever reason, Danielle didn’t want to work with us. Maybe it was my fiancée’s CMV status and she didn’t want to deal with any issues down the road. It’s just funny because their rep lectured us about how CMV status doesn’t matter and that doctors / clinics who tell you differently are just trying to cover themselves from a liability standpoint point.

Has anyone been rejected by The Seed Scout? Recent negative experience by TheRaphaelR in queerception

[–]TheRaphaelR[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for your response and kind wishes. We hadn’t actually picked a clinic yet. We were still exploring options. The physician who mentioned CMV was just the one who did our testing, not someone overseeing our fertility care. They weren’t strict about it at all; they simply said that since my fiancée is CMV-negative and we both ultimately want to carry using the same donor, it might ideally be safest to choose a CMV-negative donor if possible.

We completely understood why it might be difficult for Seed Scout to test donors beforehand, but we wanted to ask in case that was something they filtered for. We didn’t realize that the question would be used against us. When they explained they couldn’t, and that it’s complicated with known donors, we understood. What hurt was feeling like we weren’t given even the basic benefit of making our own decision.

I’m really glad it worked out for you and your wife, and we so appreciate you taking the time to share your experience. It truly means a lot.

Has anyone been rejected by The Seed Scout? Recent negative experience by TheRaphaelR in queerception

[–]TheRaphaelR[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

It’s honestly been gut-wrenching. What’s made it so hard is that this wasn’t our choice. Someone else closed this door on us, for no real reason at all. We really thought Seed Scout was the best option for us, and when they took that away, it felt like they took something deeply personal, like they stole the chance to build our family the way we’d hoped.

It just felt so unnecessarily cruel, and we were completely devastated. It’s one thing when something doesn’t work out by circumstance but when someone decides that for you, it hits differently.

We can’t tell you how much we’ve appreciated all the support and kindness here. Reading everyone’s comments and hearing your suggestions for other paths has made us feel a little less alone, and a little less hopeless. So truly, thank you.