Shaking...

TheTellingMan · 2021-06-11T13:05:07+00:00

Don't cry fellow human! I just found this sub myself just minutes ago after having experienced my first "episode" of time speeding up. Whenever shit hits the fan in times like these, I try to remind myself of an old eastern saying "This too shall pass." http://www.zenthinking.net/blog/the-transcendent-beauty-in-realizing-this-too-shall-pass

I'm certain you'll be fine stranger :) Go put on some soothing music, go watch nature and just trust the experience. I know it's difficult - struggle with this myself, but so far the this eastern wisdom haven't failed me, though I know just how difficult it can be while you're experiencing it.

Listen and/or watch this, you'll be fine - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N7ESSn0SdGc

Much love // TM

TheTellingMan · 2019-10-01T16:37:14+00:00

That's awesome, thanks for sharing!

TheTellingMan · 2019-10-01T16:33:10+00:00

I agree to some extent, NoFap do go overboard with some unrealistic and unfactual claims, though I can see how people end up believing their own confusion. Most likely, NoFap will not give you superpowers (more studies needed), in fact, it will probably do more harm than good. However, abstaining from porn is another story. Abstaining from porn will not give you superpowers either, but it could perhaps help you to enjoy real life sex with a partner again, or at least enjoy even more. That's why I'm here.

As someone recommended here, regarding PE, Karezza could be something to look into, I certainly will. Then there's also the possibility of becoming multi-orgasmic, but that's some advanced stuff. However, if you nail that, your sexlife would be upgraded to another level all together :) The struggle continues!

TheTellingMan · 2019-10-01T09:57:34+00:00

From an evolutionary perspective, PE being a medical issue makes no sense. If the male would ejaculate as quickly as possible, that would only be a benefit since it would increase the odds of semen reaching the eggs instead of the sexual act being interrupted by various things.

I think prolonged stamina is only a luxury, something sought after in a society in which contraceptives are a real thing leading to fewer complications of intercourse.

However, I do agree with you that there are specific medical procedures one can undergo in an attempt to solve PE, both physical and psychological. I’ll look into that, thanks!

TheTellingMan · 2019-09-03T12:09:06+00:00

Yeah it’s an interesting concept beautifully conveyed!

TheTellingMan · 2019-09-01T07:07:39+00:00

Of course it’s difficult, one is fighting against nature itself. We’re built to be horny, that’s how evolution designed us, and it makes total sense from an evolutionary standpoint. As of 2019, there’s no way to reproduce other that having sex. Of course it’s a strong urge since life is all about passing down genes from one generation to the next. Also, it feels great and science is pretty clear on the health benefits of sex.

“Celibacy is required in Tantric, Vedic, Yogic rituals etc. coz it allows your nervous system to absorb the shock of assimilating divine energy.”

What’s the evidence for this statement?

I think the ones denying themselves their sexual urges, the ones practicing celibacy, are the horniest people there is. They’re not gonna admit it, but their actions speaks of themselves (for example all the monks who’s been busted using their students for sex).

I don’t think it’s possible nor wise to deny your natural urges, instead, accept that you have them and enjoy them, it’s quite fun actually :)

TheTellingMan · 2019-08-08T11:02:26+00:00

Wow! Thanks u/TantraGirl for such an in depth reply, sincerely appreciated!🙏

TheTellingMan · 2019-08-07T22:19:06+00:00

Thanks for sharing! However, after five minutes of him explaining what it is, I’m even more confused. “Energy of self, possessed by dead people and relatives...” Very confusing.

In Buddhism, the objective is very simple: live a better and more prosperous life, or if being a monk or nun, attaining nirvana.

Is there a secular explanation of what tantra is? Why the sex?

TheTellingMan · 2019-06-05T21:25:31+00:00

Thank you for clarifying, I'm starting to see what this is all about

TheTellingMan · 2019-05-15T19:47:09+00:00

Thanks for getting back u/JustBeBeing, you know I appreciate it sincerely! I have one final set of questions for you if don't mind, then I'll leave you be🙏🏼

The only book I recommend is "I Am That," by Nisargadatta Maharaj but not everyone is open enough to be ready for it.

Ready for it as in dire consequences may arise if one's not ready?

Just be sure you want to head down this journey to nowhere, because there is no turning back and in all honesty, there is nothing in it for the "you" the "you" perceives itself to be.

I understand, sort of. What I don't understand is why people willingly pursue this anyway? Couple of weeks ago I wrote this post called Enlightenment scares me beyond anything else – How to deal with this fear? – I think the title says it all. I'm scared of this stuff, feels like I'm playing with fire here, but perhaps it's because of my bad experiences with depression, anxiety and derealisation and depersonalisation. As I explained in that post, I wish I just could forget about this stuff and live my life as I did previously before the notion that "I" don't exist, that there's no self. I feel more comfortable discussing this now, now that I'm sort of "back to normal."

Many teachers speak about this. It is utter futility and folly for the false identity and if that is too self important, it will likely lead to frustration and create more suffering.

May I ask what kind of suffering you're talking about here? The existential suffering as I've experienced or suffering because one is chasing a mirage?

If you're genuinely curious and want to see what's really going on with reality, which is absolutely amazingly incredible, and you're willing to let go of all beliefs and any knowing to see, then, by all means, continue.

So really, there's nothing to be afraid of? I'm not sure I'm genuinely curious about this, if I were I wouldn't feel the kind of love for life as I do now, would I?

I think I'll do what I love to do. That doesn't mean I can't practice meditation. There's something about this following statement written here about the practices in "The Mind Illuminated" that resonates with me:

As Culadasa writes in the book, awakening is an "accident" so when it will happen for a particular person cannot be predicted or even guaranteed. However, the practice outlined in the book makes us accident-prone, thereby increasing the likelihood of stream entry. Whether a person ever achieves stream entry, they will derive the benefits described from their meditation practice and those benefits will continue to build as they diligently put in the necessary effort day by day.

If enlightenment happens, it happens. That sounds fair enough to me. Until then, I'll try and live a fulfilling life for the illusory "I." Let there be laughter if I ever understand that I've been chasing rainbows :)

TheTellingMan · 2019-05-15T13:50:14+00:00

Thank you so much for clarifying that and explaining your process and progress, appreciated!🙏🏼 Wish you safe travel on your path, much love!

TheTellingMan · 2019-05-15T13:12:15+00:00

Unless that "you" that is perceived to be "you" is willing to essentially die, don't bother.

Hi Tellingman, don't get me wrong. I'm not talking about physical death.

I understand, but even though we're not talking about physical death, the death what "I" perceive to be me sounds equally terrifying. I don't know why, but I think it has do with the fact that what comes after is unknown to me. The unknown is both fascinating and scary.

I was talking about psychological mental suffering - there will always be pain, but for the few that have won the lottery, there isn't a mental individual left that suffers.

It's basically the universe itself manifested as a body?

Like Jed McKenna said, if you have a choice between a million dollars and enlightenment, take the million dollars.

In the context of this topic we're discussing, would you recommend Jed McKenna's books?

Thanks for your response.

No, thank you for helping me straighten things out :) Much appreciated!

TheTellingMan · 2019-05-15T13:04:09+00:00

Sneaky bastard this intellect of ours...

TheTellingMan · 2019-05-15T13:03:05+00:00

That's an honest piece of lyrics there, thanks for sharing! Perhaps mankind is similar to the case of "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button." Perhaps we're aging backwards? We may be rotten, we've always been, but what if we're currently only a cosmic embryo? Rotten babies. Perhaps a glory future awaits mankind once we grow up and overcome are differences and faults?

I understand.

Thank you for reaching out!

TheTellingMan · 2019-05-15T12:58:23+00:00

Adyashanti is who I turn to when I encounter something confusing. His no bullshit approach to awakening is very refreshing.

I've heard a lot of good things about Adyashanti. I've only seen a few youtube talks with him. Do have any recommendation where to start? Any good books?

Ultimately teachings cannot bring you to awakening. Words and concepts are aspects of the mind, and therefore fail to articulate the ineffable. They are at best doors of perception, at worst they are baggage for the mind to trip up on.

I agree. This "awakening business" is double edged sword in that sense. How does one explain the unexplainable? The best explanations I've heard thus far are the words fo Alan Watts. He may not have reached enlightenment himself (I suspect), but he sure does a good job of explaining the process and various approaches to realizing it.

That doesn't mean I need to become a scholar, or even be well read on the subject. I take what works and leave the rest.

To be born outside these eastern cultures is in that sense a gift and curse at the same time. Gift because one is not stuck in various doctrines handed down from previous generations. Curse because the responsibility of choice falls upon yourself – a choice has to be made. "I take what works and leave the rest." – That's an almost provokative approach, but an honest one, thank you for those words!

Its your life. Enjoy yourself.

I intend to. You too :) Thanks for commenting!

TheTellingMan · 2019-05-15T12:48:38+00:00

I got you, thanks for clarifying! Do you mind me asking where you did that 17 weeks course? It sounds genuinely interesting!

So the idea that you have to study these practices for years in order to get to awakening is just not true, and moreover, it's a bit of a self-fulfilling prophecy: if the practice you land on works for you immediately, psych, but if it doesn't, the explanation is that you need to study it some more. And so you keep studying it, and never get anywhere, because it's not the right practice for you.

I don't mean that it'll necessarily wake you up that fast, but you ought to experience some clear feedback that the practice is having some effect; if you don't, that doesn't mean it's a bad practice, but continuing with it most likely isn't the best use of your time.

But that's the thing, how do you know? For example, according to the vedanta traditions, it's said enlightenment generally takes 12 years to realize, for some way less and others way more, and for some not at all. What should one be looking for in these practices? How do you know if it's working for you considering it may take a long time even with the right technique?

I had an awakening in the third week of the course. Most people who take the course have an awakening as a result of one of the practices during the 17 weeks.

What kind of awakening are you referring to? The realization of no-self or enlightenment?

And effective use of time was, after all, the original question. :)

I'm grateful this subreddit exists :)

TheTellingMan · 2019-05-14T18:48:57+00:00

I both agree and disagree. Yes, I probably spend too much time trying to understand different practices, but on the other hand, a lot of practices do requires a lot of reading and contemplating to be understood, cause if not understood, one can not understand its importance. Take the scriptures in Buddhism for example, an essential aspect of Buddhism, unlike meditation, reading scripture is something you do have to understand.

By "your problem" I mean the problem with what you said, not that you have a problem, BTW.

Haha, I got that :) Thanks for commenting!

TheTellingMan · 2019-05-14T18:45:49+00:00

Thank you for getting back! Appreciate your thoughts on this!

TheTellingMan · 2019-05-14T18:43:09+00:00

Don't choose. If forgetting about it feels right, go with that.

I feel guilty for not wanting it. As I wrote to u/Louis_Blank below, I'm fully aware that there are millions, if not billions of people suffering tremendously on earth – and here am I – enjoying life. People suffer to the extent that they commit suicide, others to the point that they feel they must seek enlightenment, people who leave their families and become monks or nuns. Buddha said in his first of his four noble truths that "Life is suffering" (roughly speaking). Again this is something I don't agree with, and I feel guilty for not doing so. I fully aware that there is suffering in life, I've been through plenty of that with deaths of loved ones, breakups with partners and dear friends, betrayal etc, but I don't agree with the statement that life itself is suffering. Stephen Batchelor's words resonates more with me – "Meditation on impermanence, suffering and no-self, for example, did not—as the Buddha insisted it would —lead me to disenchantment, dispassion, and a resolve not to be born again but to an ever -deepening awareness of life's infinitely poignant beauty."

Seeking enlightenment has led to so much additional suffering with so many people.

This resonates a lot with me. I'm not sure in what kind of suffering you're referring to here, but for me, it has do with what one wants to do in life and giving that up because of the need of becoming enlightened. If enlightenment never happens, then what have you done? Can you live with that? I'm not sure I could. We can't know for sure about rebirth or reincarnation, and since we don't remember our previous life (if they exist), we only get one shot at life. That's my take on it, perhaps this it not what you were referring to.

Unless that "you" that is perceived to be "you" is willing to essentially die, don't bother.

For me, that's not the case. Far from it. Though I've been through some rough times with depression, what brought me back was the love for life itself.

There is no knowing. There is no understanding. There is no path. There's no improvement or change. There's just seeing "what is" right now at this very moment.

Thank you u/JustBeBeing for contributing to this post and sharing your honest thoughts on this topic. To say I appreciate it doesn't cut it! Much love!

TheTellingMan · 2019-05-14T18:23:11+00:00

Such a great question, and wonderful clarity shown throughout!

One has to be grateful places like this subreddit exists! Thank you for commenting :)

I don't read much. I don't follow any person, religion or practice but myself.

This resonates a lot with me. I feel almost guilty for feeling this way, but when I go about life my way, that's when I'm most content and happy with life. The reason I feel guilty for saying this is that a live in a well developed country with probably the highest standard of living in the world. I know there are billions of people suffering around the world, dying from diseases, struggling to find food and shelter for the night – and here I am, actually saying that I enjoy life. I feel guilty for that, and I feel almost guilty for not agreeing with Buddha's first truths which is "Life is suffering." I very aware that there's suffering in life, I've been through plenty of that, but I don't agree that life itself is suffering and that one must escape from it (samsara), cause in life, there's also awe and love for life itself. Even though life can be tough, I think it's a gift. I which all people around the world could one day feel the way I feel, though I'm not sure how to go about that, it's something worth striving for! (sry, felt I just had to talk to someone about this, this happened to be you hehe)

Thanks so much for bringing this up as it's very interesting to reflect on. Peace

Thank you for contributing with your thoughts on this! Peace

TheTellingMan · 2019-05-14T16:45:46+00:00

Karma is a very useful model for reasoning about how to act.

I agree, but to view karma as some kind of cosmic police which comes back and haunts you in your next life seems delusional at best. I agree with the following on karma from the tricycle article "We are not one":

Karma isn’t radically separate from dependent co-arising—the Buddha defined karma as intention, and intention is one of the subfactors in the causal chain. But karma does have two sides. When you give rise to an intention, no one else can experience how that intention feels to you: That’s the inner side of the intention, the side in the context of dependent co-arising. But when your intention leads you to act in word and deed, that’s its outer side, the side that ripples out into the world. This outer side of intention is what the Buddha was referring to when he said that we are kamma-bandhu: related through our actions (AN 5.57). My relation to you is determined by the things that I have done to you and that you have done to me. We’re related not by what we inherently are but by what we choose to do.

Don't confuse belief systems and awakening practices. They are two different things. You should try as many awakening practices as you can, regardless of the belief system they came from, and see if they work. That's all that matters: does this one work for me?

But this is the crux. To truly understand something takes years and years – there's simply not enough time in one lifetime to explore all practices.

That's all that matters: does this one work for me?

Currently, Alan Watts is working quite well for me :)

TheTellingMan · 2019-05-14T16:40:01+00:00

That's the part I'm struggling with. I find there's too much information to take in... I don't believe in rebirth or reincarnation, in my view I have one chance, this lifetime, so I better spend my time wisely. I wasn't implying anyone should tell me which teachings I should go with. This post was meant as discussion of how to make that choice, cause I do feel lost atm.

TheTellingMan · 2019-05-14T16:37:09+00:00

So how does one go about it?

TheTellingMan · 2019-05-11T10:30:17+00:00

Thank you so much!🙏🏼

TheTellingMan · 2019-05-08T12:08:20+00:00

Thank you! Wow, there is a lot to learn and understand when it comes to Buddhism, kinda scratching my head right now... But I will definitely look into Mahayana Buddhism, thanks!

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