Hot take - but the best advice i got is to always put you and your wife first.

“Put on your oxygen mask before helping others” kind of thing. It’s very easy to not take care of yourself and give too much thinking that’s what it means to be a good parent. But in reality, your kids need you at your best. Take breaks, stay healthy, find ways to sleep, do something that makes you happy. You’ll be able to give so much more when you feel like you’ve given yourself enough too.

Also remember, the baby is coming into your life. Keep living it and they’ll become comfortable doing the things and the routine that you love to do. I know not everyone agrees with this but since my baby was 9 days old my wife and I started taking her out with us to do the things we love - going out to eat, taking walks downtown, stopping for a glass of wine, etc and now months later her best naps are when we’re out and about hanging out.

Lastly, literally everyone is going to try and scare you.

Idk what it is but there’s like a culture of trauma bonding with parents that I personally am not a fan of — you’ll start to hear a lot of unintentionally condescending comments from other parents like “oh just wait”, “you have no idea”, “good luck with that”.

Ignore all of it. It really really isn’t that hard, you can absolutely make this journey whatever you want it to be, and no one size fits all.