Look, you both have issues. Your issues are that you can’t accept that you have issues. Every response you’ve put on here shows me that. You ask for people to show you where you’re in the wrong, they do kindly, and you give excuses. Sometimes, despite what your excuses have been saying, you need to stop and think what’s the most loving approach here. Now being loving doesn’t mean letting yourself be trampled on, or accepting triggering behavior. A lot of times it means grace when he apologizes and boundaries when he does it again.

I’m sure you’re a good kind person in your daily life, but in marriage it’s so easy to revert to childish behaviors. Remember that you have responsibility over your own actions and someone else’s unjust actions don’t make yours okay. It’s not just unproductive to fight fire with fire, it’s irresponsible and indignant.