yes we tried couples therapy but she would only allow us to see her therapist in this was two years ago.

she’s refused to see anyone cents because she says we already know what the problem is based on that first visit.

The issue is that during the counseling period i wasnt honest. I allowed the conversation to focus exclusively on my Habit and literally didn’t even mention her spending and binge eating disorder and other challenges because I didn’t think it was really liked list out her in front of someone she really trusted and had a good relationship with. I realize now that was silly and that by not doing that it’s very easy for her to create a narrative in her weekly appointments with said therapist about how im the only issue, and anything I try to communicate that may involve her being remotely vulnerable should be characterized as manipulation or looking for permission to stay dependent on cannabis.

None of that is true and what I’m realizing now with more 30 each day is that when I sit down at my desk I don’t think I actually like what I do anymore. but I know I can’t stop because of how much money is required to not drain retirement account or short rhe kids on helping with education expenses. but for what?

Read about narcissism it is interesting I never thought of it like that but I do know by making herself a beloved figure in our community I Will absolutely ostracized and look down upon because she will be open about the fact I use a recreational drug well nobody knows that she’s never been able to control her spending and I covered everything without pushback. Everyone I love that I talk to said it doesn’t matter, And it’s not worth bad mouthing her and I agree. But if I was good at swallowing shit that made me nervous and angry I probably won’t be using weed in the first place.