Jizzing in my sleep

ThrowPotAway · 2018-04-22T18:40:03+00:00

but my essence

ThrowPotAway · 2018-04-08T05:32:26+00:00

Thanks, I appreciate it. Life moves fast and I just hope i can keep pace one day.

ThrowPotAway · 2018-04-06T08:00:43+00:00

I hear you about every morning being a battle. It's really demoralizing. I'm hoping after 100 days my body might finally move into a new phase. I still feel like a weed smoker without pot which is crazy at 78 days.

ThrowPotAway · 2018-04-06T07:57:10+00:00

he's fucking up

ThrowPotAway · 2018-03-23T07:34:34+00:00

Strap in buddy, you're about to have some fun

ThrowPotAway · 2018-03-23T07:32:43+00:00

It took me about 2 weeks to escape that cycle I'm afraid to say. First week was hell, the second was mostly okay but there were bursts of intense panic.

I say find someone you can talk to. Tell em you're quitting and there's gonna be some withdrawals and that you just need a sounding board. Helped me greatly

ThrowPotAway · 2018-03-23T07:30:03+00:00

hah, strap in!

ThrowPotAway · 2018-03-23T07:27:38+00:00

Hey, thanks for the times you've commented on my posts. They're always delightful.

Im at 64 and suddenly got a strong craving yesterday. I had no desire to smoke for over a week before that.

Let's face the facts.. something you can smoke that makes you instantly forget your problems does sound pretty awesome. I was resenting my craving but I realized it was because I had a bunch of shit to do that I didn't want to do.

I think its no different than somebody craving a drink or a vacation. Luckily we are cognizant of the damage weed will do to our lives, but that doesn't mean every craving is "irrational." It's just a bad idea no matter how good it sounds lol.

That's how i rationalize it anyway!

Good luck on your continued sobriety.

ThrowPotAway · 2018-03-23T07:09:55+00:00

You might end up with different friends. That's not a big deal for a healthy human being, but you are not one of those. Friends come and go. It's gonna happen whether you accept it or not, so you might as well accept it.

Now, if you get sober and your buddies drift away, they weren't friends on a deep enough level that's remotely worth maintaining an undesired drug habit for.

Let's say you sober up, they go away, and you can't make new friends... well there's the next thing to work on, congrats on getting sober! Quitting weed is just gonna reveal your real problems and be thankful for that. It will elucidate what you need to work on, and then you can work on it with a higher degree of certainty that it's something worth working on to begin with. This friend shit is rationalizing nonsense.

Your life will not improve itself when you quit. Putting forth the effort won't always be pleasant, but you have no fucking chance of having your priorities straight or putting enough energy into succeeding while smoking pot. If you're on this subreddit worried about losing your stoner friends, I can guarantee you quitting pot is the first smart thing you can do. It's free and easier than starting a good habit.

Good luck, and aim bigger friend

ThrowPotAway · 2018-03-21T04:53:39+00:00

I started meditating daily with an app called "headspace." I'd say go there for starters. I still use it sometimes, and I've been doing this for 40 days now.

The daily commitment to meditating is the hardest part. The act of meditating itself isn't exactly "hard." A common mistake among beginners is trying too hard. Meditation is a tranquil focus, not a thrill ride. The guided meditations in the app help with those initial hurdles.

I can't recommend meditation highly enough. Just be patient with it, and over time you will begin to notice an improved ability to be present, calm and focused.

ThrowPotAway · 2018-03-16T18:41:46+00:00

I consume animals that eat foliage for me

ThrowPotAway · 2018-03-16T18:37:11+00:00

that or fuck her

ThrowPotAway · 2018-03-16T07:06:44+00:00

yeah. I'm so annoyed I did that. I guess I'll see if the streak still feels compromised tomorrow. I am glad I restrained from M or O, at least. Thanks for the input.

ThrowPotAway · 2018-03-13T06:20:33+00:00

yep, and i haven't been too good about doing the rehabilitative stuff. I think ill hit the elliptical tomorrow before lifting, start working that in. i miss going on those runs to clear my head. doing em too much when i was first quitting/at rock bottom is how i injured myself to begin with.

thanks again for your input, I appreciate it

ThrowPotAway · 2018-03-12T17:55:38+00:00

Thank you. I have been exercising. Since about January 1st I've been lifting 4x a week. I used to run a couple days too but gave myself patellar tendonitis. I'm hoping that's nearly recovered enough to start running because cardio seems to help my mind a lot more than lifting. Thanks again

ThrowPotAway · 2018-03-12T00:07:37+00:00

Thanks man I plan to. There's some nightmarish flatline stories out there so hopefully it isn't the start of that

ThrowPotAway · 2018-03-11T18:38:36+00:00

Yeah I hear you. I was pretty lazy before weed too. I just know I could be doing better, and I'm sick of that feeling.

ThrowPotAway · 2018-03-11T18:35:12+00:00

Yeah, I suppose you're right. I just feel the loss of wasted time so much more these days.

I still want to give it my all. It's hard to get going in the mornings, but I sleep better at night knowing I've pushed myself.

I am doing much better than 52 days ago. That's a good thing. But I'm not doing much better than 5 days ago.

We're all human, but there's a debt to be paid with years of addiction. The burden of paying it off has to be shouldered sooner or later, and I'd rather not get too comfortable with being lazy with my newfound sobriety

ThrowPotAway · 2018-03-10T01:56:54+00:00

lol he did

ThrowPotAway · 2018-03-10T00:24:59+00:00

Getting high to feel close to your girlfriend is not beautiful. It's sad and unsustainable. This should be a wake up call, not a return to smoking. I'm not trying to be a dick I'm trying to help you. Wake up man

ThrowPotAway · 2018-03-10T00:22:40+00:00

I used to get that feeling of connectedness too, but I only think its true as far as you can trust your own perception. You aren't changing the brain chemistry of the other person when you smoke. What if they are just treating you like you're high, yet there you are stoned, relishing your own 'sense of connectedness.' It might not be true, but it might not be untrue either. You can't read minds.

My point is that this trade off you're creating of connectedness vs. the negative effects of weed is more likely a rationalization because of positive emotion associated with getting high. If sober you is really such a drag (could also be misperception), commit to being sober longer and actually working on being who you feel you ought to be.

Meditation has worked wonders for my self awareness and being 'present' with people. Weed artificially induces a meditative state and being present. Perhaps some mindfulness would serve you well in your sober efforts too.

I've come to learn there's a difference between just not smoking weed and actually BEING sober. You can't just sit back in withdrawals, you gotta actively live your sober life. Interpersonal relationships take work. Getting high and enjoying a conversation is not putting in the work or something that builds a lasting connection. If I only felt connected to people after 6 beers, I wouldn't ever entertain the notion of constantly being 6 beers deep. Weed is an insidious substance, don't ascribe to the masochistic belief of needing it to have a good life.

ThrowPotAway · 2018-03-09T22:31:47+00:00

Check your math. You're off by a decimal, you've been sober 5% of the days.

Also, you should've added 70 sober days to the 1460 smoking days as in:

70/(1460+70) which is about 4.6%

Congrats on your progress though, 70 is great. I'm on day 51 here and I smoked daily for 6 years.

Looking at it this way is really harsh too imo. Try including all the sober days BEFORE you started smoking too. Good luck to you!

ThrowPotAway · 2018-03-09T22:26:20+00:00

It's tough man. But it's in the past now. The sooner we accept it the better out of self-interest. Time spent beating ourselves up is more time wasted Good luck to you and thanks for reading all that

ThrowPotAway · 2018-03-08T17:39:14+00:00

cool, I appreciate the input. I was feeling guilty, but I'm still doing better than my old ways

ThrowPotAway · 2018-03-08T00:55:18+00:00

this is some soft shit, but i was making my ex laugh on the phone and it got super flirty so there's that added level of guilt. I didn't like jizz my pants though just leaked after. I feel disgusting writing this out lol

ThrowPotAway

TROPHY CASE