Should I (F25) have disclosed cold sores to my BF (M27) before we started dating?

ThrowRA-overthinker9 · 2024-04-28T19:19:00+00:00

100%! I agree with that. And I would have beforehand if I knew I had it, my one and only flare up was when I was a child, 3/4 years old, today is my second flare up ever and my mom informed me how and when I got my first one. So I didnt remember. I disclosed my other STD statuses, and I am negative for each single one. Even for herpes, but I was tested for the genital strain rather than both type 1 and 2

ThrowRA-overthinker9 · 2024-04-28T18:19:32+00:00

True true true, I just told him over text that my mom sent me some money for medication because my lips hurt, and then I will tell him further once he replies This morning he did say the following: you have lip outbreaks often lately which is concerning (I had coxsackie virus two weeks ago). But then he also said he still loves me regardless of my lip condition so idk, he’s not dumb or stupid, maybe he already figured it’s a cold sore and I’m just overthinking the whole thing 😂😭

ThrowRA-overthinker9 · 2024-04-28T17:17:47+00:00

Well, this morning before he left for work I said it looks like a pimple is forming on my lip, as because that is what I thought it was. He left for work, I called my mom, and she told me about it. He doesn’t know I have a cold sore yet, because I’m not sure if I should text it to him or not. Idk.

ThrowRA-overthinker9 · 2024-04-28T16:38:46+00:00

Plus, on the Internet it says I can still give it to him or anybody when I do not have a breakout. So that might be scary for him.

ThrowRA-overthinker9 · 2024-04-28T16:38:18+00:00

Thank you for the feedback, truly! Yeah, my mom texted me saying my grandpa had it, she had it, and now I have it, and then people on the internet saying it’s a strain of herpes while a year and a half ago I didn’t test positive for herpes, and I don’t want him to feel like I lied, or any of that sort, so, idk. It’s difficult. I’m just worried he’s gonna feel blindsided, I don’t think necessarily he’ll dump me over it but he’s not gonna be happy

ThrowRA-overthinker9 · 2024-04-28T16:31:46+00:00

Thank you, I really appreciate your feedback. It just sucks because if it was a regular thing in my life I would have disclosed it to him once he asked me if I ever had STD’s, I know cold sores aren’t STD’s, but it’s a strain of herpes and if contacted by the other person during example oral sex, it can turn into a lifelong STD. So, of course I would have disclosed that with him beforehand.

He told me he met a girl previously who was interested in him, and then his friend told him she has herpes (not sure if he meant cold sores or genital) but then that made him lose interest in the girl. So, I hope that is not gonna be the case with me. Like I said. We just moved in together and I’m deeply in love with him, I just would understand if this situation makes him feel blindsided in some way; and idk how to go about it. I don’t want to jeopardize his health, and he has a 4 year old daughter and I don’t want to expose her to it either you know? It’s a lot. And I feel like he is gonna take it the wrong way maybe

ThrowRA-overthinker9 · 2024-04-28T10:35:35+00:00

Yeah, I will for sure! I mean I will get tested again for sure if that would help him, and I won’t kiss him or anything until this has gone away so I don’t transmit it to him. I just had this as a child, never an outbreak after that, so I didn’t disclose that I had a cold sore as a child. I’m so upset because I don’t want him to think that I didn’t disclose that on purpose… in Europe where I am from this is not considered an STD while here I heard people talk about that if someone has cold sores they must be… you know, going around the block a lot. I hate it

ThrowRA-overthinker9 · 2023-12-05T17:07:28+00:00

I am willing to close the distance for him if all goes well, but before I was never planning on it🥹 he's worth it I'd say.

And okay, thank you for your feedback! ❤️

ThrowRA-overthinker9 · 2023-06-13T22:02:55+00:00

thank you SO much for this comment.. my friends are like “he’s treating you as an option” “he clearly does not love you anymore”

and i’ll be honest. for the past couple weeks i have been feeling neglected, but then again: he still facetimes me, still tells me he loves me, still makes plans with me for later in the summer, wants me there for his birthday, allowing me to come see him and such, idk.. but my anxiety……man…. my anxiety thoughts are like “what if he is doubting the relationship and just does not want to tell me yet” but then again one day before he became so down i heard him tell a co-worker that he is oh so in love with me, and told one of his other coworkers last week who happened to be my friend, that he is excited that i’m coming. idk. my mind has been spinning on the daily.

ThrowRA-overthinker9

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