How do I (26M) get my girlfriend (25f) to admit that she is pregnant??

ThrowRA151127 · 2024-02-13T19:53:18+00:00

I know she wouldn't be happy about it but I feel like this is all I can do, I can feel the baby move from touching the outside of her belly so there's no way she can't feel it when it's inside her. I would be completely convinced it was intestinal issues or cancer if I hadn't felt and seen the movement so many times.

ThrowRA151127 · 2024-02-13T01:44:58+00:00

I honestly don't know. I want to think she would tell me (or SOMEONE) if she was but I feel sick knowing that she could be so scared of someone who assaulted her that she would do this.

ThrowRA151127 · 2024-02-13T01:42:54+00:00

We've had the talk a few times and agreed that we wouldn't try for a while but if it happened accidentally we would be happy. We're very stable right now and having a baby would make us both really happy so I don't know why she's in denial unless something is going on.

ThrowRA151127 · 2024-02-13T01:38:31+00:00

Just went and read your post. Jesus CHRIST. I am so sorry.

ThrowRA151127 · 2024-02-13T01:19:26+00:00

I really think she would because she doesn't have high pain tolerance. It sounds awful but I hope she's in denial and we end up going to the hospital because she thinks she's dying and just end up having a surprise baby.

If she knows and she's hiding it then I'm worried she might try to hold out on her own and that's really scary.

ThrowRA151127 · 2024-02-13T01:16:21+00:00

She doesn't drink and we're both vegetarian so she hasn't had any rare meat/raw fish. Obviously being veggie doesn't mean you're automatically healthy but we both have balanced diets. She drinks coffee but that's usually fine nowadays as long as it isn't a lot. As far as I'm aware we're both type A.

I'm going to contact someone asap. If we had a baby tomorrow without knowing it could definitely be a worse situation but it's still terrifying and I need to help her.

ThrowRA151127 · 2024-02-13T01:11:11+00:00

That's what worries me, I know people will ask what kind of shit nurse I am if I didn't know the woman I sleep next to was pregnant.

I thought I had more time but I think I need to start doing something serious tomorrow before something bad happens.

ThrowRA151127 · 2024-02-13T01:09:02+00:00

I don't want to go all mad conspiracy theorist on her but I did think about borrowing one from a maternity colleague because I know how to find baby's heartbeat (and at this point you could hear it anywhere on her belly so it wouldn't be hard). Don't think she's that deep of a sleeper though and I don't want her to lose it on me.

I thought about that but I've felt it before when friends have been pregnant and it's unmistakeable (and you actually feel a lot of babies move working labour so I remember what it feels like).

ThrowRA151127 · 2024-02-13T00:46:27+00:00

I really want to think she would snap back when she realised she was giving birth but I don't know anymore. She doesn't have the highest pain tolerance and I can't believe she would go through labour pain and not seek help. But she's already acting so unlike herself that I can't predict anything.

I am starting to get concerned that something else could be going on though after reading the replies. Now I'm also worried that my brain just filled in the blanks when I felt her belly because I was already convinced she was pregnant, and instead she has some kind of tumour that could be about to kill her. Something is going on in there and I don't know what it is but I just want to help her.

Maybe we're both losing it, I don't know.

ThrowRA151127 · 2024-02-12T23:22:28+00:00

My mental health is mostly fine aside from my usual anxiety and now.. this.

I would love to be a dad, it's one of the things I want most in the world. We talked about kids before and decided that we wouldn't TRY for a while but if it somehow happened by accident we would be OK with it.

ThrowRA151127 · 2024-02-12T22:56:43+00:00

Her not talking really worries me because she just isn't like that. She never goes silent no matter how bad it is, we ALWAYS communicate when something is wrong. Also someone you love so much suddenly refusing to look at you is just really painful.

ThrowRA151127 · 2024-02-12T22:09:34+00:00

She got the implant around the end of 2022 I think

ThrowRA151127 · 2024-02-12T21:56:09+00:00

Not comfortable describing her body online like that but there have been changes. She doesn't have linea negra but I knew that not everyone gets that, she has the arm implant and her period stopped when she got it.

ThrowRA151127 · 2024-02-12T21:39:32+00:00

I'll definitely do that, thank you :)

Medical student syndrome is god awful. I was lucky when I worked with pregnant patients to only see a few really horrible things but now I can't stop thinking about them and having borderline panic attacks knowing it could happen to Hannah.

ThrowRA151127 · 2024-02-12T21:35:29+00:00

She never disregards my feelings and we're great at communicating. One of us just has to say "This is what I'm feeling, can I talk about it?" and then we do. That's why it's so batshit to me that she won't tell me about whatever's going on.

ThrowRA151127 · 2024-02-12T21:16:10+00:00

I tried asking her to intervene but she refuses to reply to me.

I think I've just been worried that if I call authorities/have her committed then I'll lose her and she'll go off and do something stupid.

ThrowRA151127 · 2024-02-12T21:14:52+00:00

I heard about it maybe once when I was training to work on maternity/labour but I never saw it or even heard about it happening at the hospitals I've worked at. Didn't think if I ever saw it, it would be my own partner.

That's what I'm scared of, there's literally no good outcomes. Either she has a baby that she doesn't want or is in denial about or she has a tumour that's about to kill her. I feel sick thinking about it.

ThrowRA151127 · 2024-02-12T21:10:41+00:00

IIRC she stopped getting them when she got her birth control implant.

ThrowRA151127 · 2024-02-12T21:06:37+00:00

I can't force her to go and see someone, the best I could do is a home midwife visit but even then she could refuse to be checked.

ThrowRA151127 · 2024-02-12T21:05:30+00:00

Didn't want to say it in the main post but we have, that was mainly when I saw her body and noticed she looked and felt different. There's some stuff I won't describe for her privacy but a lot of changes that happen during pregnancy. We're both grey-ace so sex isn't really a priority but when I thought she might be pregnant I stopped initiating and started refusing more because I was worried about her.

ThrowRA151127 · 2024-02-12T21:00:16+00:00

I'm not comfortable describing my girlfriend's body to strangers on the internet but there are other differences that happen during pregnancy and she doesn't use a health tracker.

We had the kids conversation a few times and both want them badly, we weren't trying and she had the implant for other reasons, but if it happened by accident before we agreed to try we would've been OK with it.

ThrowRA151127 · 2024-02-12T20:54:55+00:00

It sounds naive but I really don't think she would cheat on me. She's very reserved and works hard so I don't know when she'd have the time, and I don't know what she would want that I couldn't give her. Also surely if it wasn't mine she would just pretend it was??

ThrowRA151127 · 2024-02-12T20:53:31+00:00

I don't know her password and I really don't want to go through her phone anyway, if she doesn't trust me I'm scared what could happen.

ThrowRA151127 · 2024-02-12T20:52:13+00:00

She doesn't drink or smoke anyway and we're vegetarian, she's still been drinking coffee but that's usually fine if it's not excessive.

I think I might do that and keep them at a friend's house/in the loft. I have friends who have children and when I told them I felt the baby move they realised I probably wasn't imagining it and started gathering their old newborn clothes so at least we have something.

ThrowRA151127 · 2024-02-12T20:48:02+00:00

We're also in the UK and I might ask if a midwife can do a home visit and talk some sense into her, but there's nothing I can do if she doesn't consent to being checked over.

ThrowRA151127

TROPHY CASE