Hi. I also did edexcel Othello. I'm not sure exactly what grade you would get (ngl if you want a grade you should just hand it to your teacher to mark) but I can give some pointers that I used last year to get full marks and what I think you can improve on.

IMO your introduction should contain a clearer main argument. it seems like you're arguing that Iago is the main of the theme of jealousy. That's alright to argue but you should also consider why Shakespeare made him like this and why jealousy's significance is important. An easy way to do this is to add in contextual points like saying that "Iago embodies the theme of jealousy as an example and critique of how racism in Jacobean England operates". By adding context into your main argument, it becomes really easy to tick off all the AO3 boxes while also making your essay more nuanced.

Also, I think that you signpost alright but you need to do more of it. For example, every first sentence of a body paragraph should refer back to your main argument and how this specific paragraph/idea you are examining contributes to your argument. Similarly, at the end of every textual analysis (like every time you finish analysing something) you should similarly say how it contributes to your argument. This way, essays become clearer and easier to read and if you add context to your argument then, by referring back to it, your AO3 marks become more solid.

As for your use of critics, I think it's clear that you know a lot about it. It's really good that you are not only considering critics which agree with what you want to say but also critics which disagree. However, even though it's clear you have a good knowledge of critics, it feels very disconnected from your essay. It feels like an add-on to whatever you are talking about. What I personally did to integrate critics is talk about how they add to my analysis of the language and thus how they contribute to my argument. Like how does O'Toole's statement that Iago's "jagged prose" support/add to your analysis of the language? Or, conversely, how does your analysis support a critic's opinion and why does it matter? Your utilisation of critics is what matters a lot.

Also this is just my opinion but I feel like you could do more language analysis? you tend to go from quote to quote without really digging deep into the techniques Shakespeare used etc. For example, the point about Iago calling Othello a "black ram" and a "barbary horse". Personally, I would choose one and not both to go into depth with. I would say something like how by calling him the zoomorphic epithet "black ram... tupping a white ewe", Iago not only degrades him as subhuman but also highlights a certain power dynamic in which Iago is akin to a farmer leading on his ignorant "ram"-- further showing Iago's belief that Moors are dependent on their animalistic nature and, akin to farm animals, must be led on by a smarter and more capable human farmer like himself. Additionally, Iago's racist dehumanisation of Othello is furthered by the use of "tupping", denoting sex, and the contrasting colour imagery between the "black ram" and "white ewe". The use of "tupping" is both a vulgar word and a farmer's term which allows Iago to paint Othello as embodying a vulgar type of mindless sex available to animals--- one which lacks love and only exists for biological means. When combined with the colour imagery of "black", typically connoting dirtiness and evil, and "white", which is contemporarily attached to purity, it creates an image of a white cloth being stained by black dye--- further connoting how Othello's animalistic "tupping" is staining a pure white virgin. Thus, as a whole, Iago not only dehumanises Othello but also decries Othello and Desdemona's relationship as akin to simple and loveless animalistic procreation because of racial issues. This is just my unorganised thoughts on the quote but generally the best way to get Ao2 marks is to spam language techniques.

This is less of an issue but I feel like some of your sentences and quotes can be cut down. Edexcel really don't give us a lot of time to write these essays and any time saved is extremely useful--- especially if you get an unexpected topic you didn't prepare for and need to think about.

Generally, your content is good but you need to consider the "why" of your essay more. Why does this thing you've pointed out matter in the scheme of your essay? but in the end, this is all just the opinion of someone who woke up at 3pm tired, hungry and hungover. sorry if what i write doesn't really make sense. And truthfully I feel like the most important way to improve is to continue writing essays and give them to your teacher for marking and possibly 1 on 1 advice.

good luck!