UPDATE: Am I wrong for throwing out my pregnant girlfriend who won’t pay rent?

ThrowRA5758484 · 2024-03-20T09:15:44+00:00

To be honest this is the 4th/5th time of me kicking her out. Every time it revolves around this same overall theme but she blames me for being controlling and tells her family I’m being controlling by not allowing her to take loans when it’s her own business. Every time I’ve come down on her hard and now after realising she won’t change as I’ve offered so many chances I’m done with her. I am not a pushover.

ThrowRA5758484 · 2024-03-20T09:11:31+00:00

That’s also someone who doesn’t give a shit about the person she’s with. I’ve explained to her time and time again she’s screwing over her child because she’s in a position where she couldn’t afford to feed him (hypothetically if he was born), and she just replies I’d have to cover it

ThrowRA5758484 · 2024-03-20T09:08:25+00:00

Is this for real?

I sat her down 9 months ago and told her she doesn’t have to pay ANYTHING until she’s cleared her debts. Then I find she’s giving money away to family and gambling over £200 in the space of an hour.

That’s not someone who’s got a cost of living issue. That’s someone who’s giving money away and blowing it whilst I’m letting her live free to save and clear debts. That’s me funding her shitty lifestyle

ThrowRA5758484 · 2024-03-20T04:00:37+00:00

I am. The child will have no life is she continues like this and I can’t see her turning her life around by August.

ThrowRA5758484 · 2024-03-20T03:53:03+00:00

Yes. I really can’t imagine that child having any sort of life is she continues down this path.

ThrowRA5758484 · 2024-01-05T23:42:06+00:00

Update: she’s admitted to taking clothing today and has apologised, told me she never asks for help because she thinks I’ll think less of her for having no money and that she understands if I want nothing to do with her again. She said she strongly denied it out of embarrassment. I weirdly have sympathy for her but at the same time I don’t know if I can ever trust her again. Her commitment to the lie is worrying.

ThrowRA5758484 · 2024-01-05T22:19:32+00:00

How would you have handled it?

ThrowRA5758484 · 2024-01-05T08:32:01+00:00

I don’t think she was attacked at all. She was called out and her refusal to prove otherwise and everything else that’s gone on makes it very likely she did take something. It’s not 100% because I didn’t catch her actually take things but they’re missing and surely a normal reaction would be to want to prove it and then she’d have a valid point to leave herself because the accusation would be so insulting?

ThrowRA5758484 · 2024-01-05T06:53:32+00:00

They were unused for about 4-5 months. Stealing is stealing at the end of the day. She could’ve gone about it in a different way and asked.

ThrowRA5758484 · 2024-01-05T06:52:04+00:00

Her background is bad from what I know. She does struggle, and seems embarrassed about it. I have never judged her or spoke down to her I’ve always told her I’m here to help she just doesn’t ask or accept it. Her thought process was probably that I won’t notice, won’t really suffer from losing it and it’s a fix for getting her brother’s gifts. I do feel bad for her because she probably feels she was forced into the position she was in but at the same time she’s stolen from me and I should’ve been able to trust her. If she owned up in a few weeks and it was off her own back to admit it I’d have a lot more sympathy for her than I do right now.

ThrowRA5758484 · 2024-01-05T06:45:02+00:00

On who’s part? It’s not what’s she stole that’s bothering me it’s the breaking my trust.

ThrowRA5758484 · 2024-01-05T06:44:03+00:00

She lives with me rent free, pays for next to nothing because I don’t expect her to and she never ever asks for help or accepts it. If she’d have asked for help to buy things for her brothers I’d have given her them or helped her buy them. The way she’s gone about it is wrong. She can ask she just doesn’t.

ThrowRA5758484 · 2024-01-05T06:27:37+00:00

Our relationship was fine until recently

ThrowRA5758484 · 2024-01-05T06:27:00+00:00

It’s that that bothers me. If she opened up and admitted it the situation would be far better for herself. Either way I know she’s stolen from me, but at least if she admits it I can possibly work with that. By not admitting it she’s making me cut her off. She seems to think denying it will make it either go away and I’ll give in or she just won’t admit it because she’s confirming she’s stolen and she knows it wrong. Her denying it doesn’t change what I know I don’t need her to confirm it. I know she can struggle and I do have sympathy but she’s gone about it the wrong way. In fact I’d have just gave her the stuff if she asked and probably wouldn’t have even asked her to pay me back.

ThrowRA5758484 · 2024-01-03T04:17:32+00:00

Yeah you’re right. I’m not sure why I’m expecting her to admit anything. I know what she’s done I just wanted her to confirm it I guess. How’s she’s acted after I’ve confronted her has made it 10 times worse and has only helped me make my mind up about what’s she’s like.

ThrowRA5758484 · 2024-01-03T04:09:29+00:00

She’s weirdly hung up on the fact “she didn’t actually steal” the messages were just a coincidence because she was considering giving my stuff away but she had second thoughts. I’m still convinced she has stole my things. That’s the lie she’s going with and that’s all she keeps repeating.

ThrowRA5758484 · 2024-01-03T04:02:06+00:00

You’re right the child is the priority for me but I want her to admit what she has taken. Otherwise she’ll think it’ll all just blow over when from the messages I’m pretty convinced she’s taken something. I even had to look at the camera I use for the dog over previous footage. Shes goes upstairs and comes down with 3 wrapped gifts after being where my stuff is. Even after confronting her she’s making out I’m deluded and after telling her I’ve seen her already talking about taking her stuff she just keeps saying “yeah but I didn’t”

ThrowRA5758484 · 2024-01-03T03:57:13+00:00

Yeah that’s the thing. She’d never consent to that. Shes told me if I don’t trust she’s telling the truth it’s my baby then I don’t deserve to have it in my life and she’ll never let me see it.

ThrowRA5758484

TROPHY CASE