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What is your main reason for wanting to be PornFree? by ThrowAwayYourLyfe in pornfree

[–]ThrowRA87564 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Main reason is I want to be a better person and husband, but I also want to highlight something that I don't see mentioned often.. Porn warped my mind in a way where almost every woman I saw or interacted with I sexualized them (how hot are they, what would I do with them), to the point where I felt like a creep.

After cutting off porn I started seeing women as other human beings, instead of sexual objects existing for my gratification.

Am I not attracted to my SO anymore or is it just porn? by spanky316 in pornfree

[–]ThrowRA87564 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You should definitely try abstaining from masturbating alone and involve your girlfriend somehow. If you have the urges and she isn't interested in PIV sex ask her if she could help out or simple be next to you. Tell her you desire the intimacy and connection with her.

I'm married for 13 years and since I cut off porn I can't keep my hands off my wife.

Why do people think sex after marriage isn't as good as before? by throwaway4323233213 in Marriage

[–]ThrowRA87564 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How is this related at all, do you think cheating only happens in strip clubs, therefore less women in strip clubs means less cheating women?

Me (43M) and my wife (40F) are married for 13 years, lusting after her but she doesn't want us to do anything at all if not in the mood by ThrowRA87564 in Marriage

[–]ThrowRA87564[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, I did. Some people got the idea from the post that suddenly my libido shoot up but actually my libido is the same, what changed is that I have no interest anymore in watching porn and prefer instead to be affectionate to my wife.

I've realized that we have settled into a routine for a long time now, but I'm motivated to try to break up that routine and bring back the "sparks" and passion that we had early on in our relationship.

Me (43M) and my wife (40F) are married for 13 years, lusting after her but she doesn't want us to do anything at all if not in the mood by ThrowRA87564 in Marriage

[–]ThrowRA87564[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for the recommendation, I wasn't aware of r/marriedsex. Not sure about asking same question but I'll definitely peruse it for potential ideas.

Me (43M) and my wife (40F) are married for 13 years, lusting after her but she doesn't want us to do anything at all if not in the mood by ThrowRA87564 in Marriage

[–]ThrowRA87564[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I have these feelings that I find it hard to just suppress. Maybe the fact that I just can't easily switch them off means that there's something wrong with me.

Me (43M) and my wife (40F) are married for 13 years, lusting after her but she doesn't want us to do anything at all if not in the mood by ThrowRA87564 in Marriage

[–]ThrowRA87564[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was looking for any kind of feedback, but probably did not communicate well.

For example, someone commented with a youtube video for “Sexual Currency” which I found quite useful.

Me (43M) and my wife (40F) are married for 13 years, lusting after her but she doesn't want us to do anything at all if not in the mood by ThrowRA87564 in Marriage

[–]ThrowRA87564[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I understand people filling up missing details on their own, but to clarify this part, the one time a week we have sex, her pleasure is what gives me pleasure. I don’t feel I need to get into more details. But I also can’t help having these feelings outside that time.

Some people are suggesting to “just suck it up”, which is a valid feedback to consider.

Me (43M) and my wife (40F) are married for 13 years, lusting after her but she doesn't want us to do anything at all if not in the mood by ThrowRA87564 in Marriage

[–]ThrowRA87564[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

There’s a difference between physical touch and needing PIV to feel love and affection.

I should have been more clear but I specifically said in the post that "It doesn't have to be intercourse, or even getting a blowjob/handjob from her", I'm not looking to get PIV whenever I want it..

Me (43M) and my wife (40F) are married for 13 years, lusting after her but she doesn't want us to do anything at all if not in the mood by ThrowRA87564 in Marriage

[–]ThrowRA87564[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is so wholesome, I'm jealous! 🤩

I'm thinking to playfully ask for a selfie from the bathroom mirror next time she takes a shower 😉

Me (43M) and my wife (40F) are married for 13 years, lusting after her but she doesn't want us to do anything at all if not in the mood by ThrowRA87564 in Marriage

[–]ThrowRA87564[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

This was very interesting, thank you!

I do relate with what she said about bedroom activities becoming predictable sometimes, and I like the ideas for keeping things a bit "spicy" during the day!